Oh, no shame in my game. I don't let it make me feel bad at all. I was proud to be a free human saying hi to another human that isn't free. I figured that I knew what would happen and was right. Like I said though, this was good for me. It was my little chance to take power back. They want you to cower, to disappear, to feel shame like you're a horrible person. Nope, not going out like that. I will be a good person and will be me and if they don't want to participate that's fine, but any time I see people like that I'm going to make them shun me and face what they're doing. It feels good, not bad, to me.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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19
Ran into my brother at a concert; first time I've seen him in years......
by dubstepped inmy wife and i went to a concert on friday night.
there was a friend of ours there doing security, and she happens to be an exjw too.
she sent me a message on messenger to inform me that my brother and his wife were at the show, not knowing that i'd be there too.
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19
Ran into my brother at a concert; first time I've seen him in years......
by dubstepped inmy wife and i went to a concert on friday night.
there was a friend of ours there doing security, and she happens to be an exjw too.
she sent me a message on messenger to inform me that my brother and his wife were at the show, not knowing that i'd be there too.
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dubstepped
My wife and I went to a concert on Friday night. There was a friend of ours there doing security, and she happens to be an exjw too. She sent me a message on messenger to inform me that my brother and his wife were at the show, not knowing that I'd be there too. So I told her where we were at and she swung by and pointed out my brother and his wife. There they were, just across from us, with really few people in the way as it was before the show started.
I looked at my wife and said that I think I want to go say hi. She thought it was a big deal, but it didn't feel like one to me. She agreed to come with and we walked up to them at the side. We appeared in front of them, I waved and said hi, and they waved at me and said hi...............for a moment. It was fascinating to watch their process. It was friendly, and almost in the exact same moment they both turned red and then looked to their right.
I laughed, said oooooohhhhhhkay, and then we walked back to our spot on the other side. Immediately, literally as soon as we got back, before we had a chance to say anything to one another or process anything one of our new friends since we've been out appeared out of thin air behind us. Her smiling face was the first thing we saw, and we talked to her about normal things for a minute. Then I saw another new friend of ours coming up the aisle toward us, and he stopped and talked to us. It was so interesting, like the universe said "here are your real friends" immediately after this experience. It felt good.
Afterward we had a chance to talk, just my wife and I. I felt so amazing. I just made them actively shun me. For a split second their humanity kicked in, and they turned red because they know deep down how messed up this is. Then the indoctrination kicked in and they looked away in disgust. I never really had to shun anyone in person that I cared about, that has to be hard. JWs expected the shunned ones to be shamed and never see them again. I'm not going out like that. I've made it clear since day one that I'm still here and human, and I exhibited my humanity, as did my wife, while they had to go into shun mode in stark contrast.
I feel for my brother and his wife. That has to be super hard to do to people in their face. It's one thing to walk to a different aisle of the super market, but to have someone say hi in a pleasant manner and then have to be a total douche to them has to cause some dissonance. I hope it did. Having to shun one of my brothers, who just disappeared to another state so I never did shun him in person, was super hard for me. It felt messed up once I got healthy after many years, and I reached out to him because I couldn't even do the shunning thing when we were worlds apart forever. I just can't imagine if he had approached me in person. Then again, I tried reaching out after my brother was dfed, so I guess I never was the best shunner anyway because ultimately, I cared about people. I'd love to know what my brother and his wife were talking about over there after we walked away.
Oh, and shame on him and his wife for being at a concert that even apostates would go to, lol.
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Episode 7 - Getting Healthy and Waking Up of This JW Life is up now....
by dubstepped infirst i just want to say that i'm up over 5000 downloads now, which is awesome!
i'm hearing from exjws and people with jw family members or friends and people that are just curious.
just 10 days ago the show crossed the 3000 download mark, and it has gone up 2000 in 10 days!
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dubstepped
You're all welcome. It is hard to relive this stuff, not only when I think about the episode for the week, but when I write it down, and then again when I record it and say these things aloud, particularly that last one. It was a dark hole to go down again.
It's okay though, because it helps other people. And this week I get to contrast it with something more positive and provide helpful resources.
Such is the yin and yang of life. Have to take the bad with the good.
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Episode 7 - Getting Healthy and Waking Up of This JW Life is up now....
by dubstepped infirst i just want to say that i'm up over 5000 downloads now, which is awesome!
i'm hearing from exjws and people with jw family members or friends and people that are just curious.
just 10 days ago the show crossed the 3000 download mark, and it has gone up 2000 in 10 days!
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dubstepped
First I just want to say that I'm up over 5000 downloads now, which is awesome! I'm hearing from exjws and people with JW family members or friends and people that are just curious. Just 10 days ago the show crossed the 3000 download mark, and it has gone up 2000 in 10 days! It blows my mind. I've also got some reviews on iTunes, which helps it rank in their algorithm. We're nearing the end of my personal story. I have one, maybe two more episodes on that. Likely two, and then that next week I'm going on vacation for my 40th birthday and second one out of the cult, so I'm excited. Then I'll regroup and see where to take the show further, likely into helping other people tell their stories.
Episode 7 of This JW Life is now up. In it you will learn how I went from an unhealthy and suicidal Jehovah’s Witness to a happy and healthy human being. I list exact books and podcasts that helped me in my journey to overcome the toxic and dysfunctional life that I had been given from my cult upbringing. Whether you’re a recovering cult member or just your average person that has been blessed to never go through my experience, you can learn from this episode. This healthy information is something that everyone can benefit from, and I hope that you find something that improves your life in this episode.
Find links to the books and podcasts that I reference as well as the podcast itself if you want to stream it on my site at:
http://thisjwlife.com/episode-7-getting-healthy-and-waking-up/
You can also subscribe on iTunes or Google Play our your podcatcher of choice, mine is Podcast Republic.
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To Fade or Disassociate
by Jules Saturn inhello to all, so i did want to talk about this topic because i think it is very important to me.
i have a grandfather who faded several decades ago.
he occasionally attends an assembly and the memorial but no longer attends meetings or goes on field service.
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dubstepped
Originally we thought of fading, but we refused to play their games, so we disassociated and called it a day, and it has been so much more freeing than trying to fade and keep playing their toxic games. We weren't going to play pretend and stifle our lives just to keep toxic family that was already kind of shunning us. Many that fade end up shunned anyway. This way we could just go live our lives in peace and glorious freedom from the cult. Freedom is never free, there's a price. Disassociation is a magic button that ends it all, game over, go live your life and be authentic to the fullest. (It just appears that bolding things is cool in this thread so I did too, and I get tired of hearing how dumb disassociation is from people that haven't done it.)
Last night I saw my brother for the first time in years at a concert. I walked up and said hi to him and his wife, who looked at me, waved, realized it was me, turned red, and then looked away rather than look at me. That was the first time I've seen him since we disassociated. I'm still going to be me though, which is why I said hi to him and his wife. Sure, they can't talk to me, but by making him shun me like that I hope to wake up his inner humanity. If I just kept playing the game that would never have a chance of happening. We took a stand going into the organization, and we took a stand going out.
Ultimately, it's a personal decision. It comes down to what you're willing to endure, shunning or playing the game. I'll take shunning.
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Episode 6 - Life Gets Dark As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses - Is Live Now
by dubstepped inepisode 6 of this jw life is now live.
it is a brutally honest, at times dark, look into what it was like behind the scenes in our lives.
people don't talk openly about ugly parts of their lives and it leads to other people feeling alone when theirs gets ugly.
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dubstepped
@ironsnake - The book that I referenced is called "Driven to Distraction" by Ed Hallowell and James Ratey.
This week I'm going to give a lot of resources that helped me out. I think I'll try to give links and descriptions on my website for this particular episode in case it can help others. I'll include that one as well, as a few people have asked already. No affiliate links, not trying to sell books, just trying to help.
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10 years on.....
by snare&racket ini was a window cleaner, i was at the time unemployed, homeless.
i had no education to be proud of (high school one a two b's rest c's) i was a jehovahs witness.
i had been a pioneer.
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dubstepped
The greatest revenge is a life well lived. Thanks for sharing your story. We need these positive outcomes shared. It is possible to live a great life today. No need to wait until a fairy tale comes true.
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15
Let's talk about Don Adams.
by Ray Frankz init's interesting that the person of the president of wtbts has figured lesser and lesser since f. franz era.
i was born in the religion in the 90's and i got to know about russel, rutherford, knorr and franz; but i never knew until a couple of years ago that m. henschel was the president in that time.
the same happens with don adams now, the first wt president from the 'other sheep'.
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dubstepped
@fulano - Hmmm, maybe two different Don Adams then. Or I'm misremembering the first name of that Adams. Pretty sure it's the same Ciranko, unless there's multiples of them floating around the Borg.
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dubstepped
Celebrity deaths don't usually hit me, but this one does. Their music was a great escape for me as a JW. The first concert that my wife and I ever went to together was just after we disassociated and Linkin Park was the headliner. Chester had broken his leg and still went out and performed like a boss. He did have to cancel dates afterward, but he was up there in a full cast. My wife was in tears during that show. It was a huge moment for us, to be out in the big world at our first big concert, in our brand new life without our families and the cult. Some of the songs hit her hard.
Here is a video from that concert of Chester singing.When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest -
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Let's talk about Don Adams.
by Ray Frankz init's interesting that the person of the president of wtbts has figured lesser and lesser since f. franz era.
i was born in the religion in the 90's and i got to know about russel, rutherford, knorr and franz; but i never knew until a couple of years ago that m. henschel was the president in that time.
the same happens with don adams now, the first wt president from the 'other sheep'.
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dubstepped
It's so weird for me to think back to having Adams and Ciranko as COs back in the day when I was a kid and project that to now. I don't remember them as bad guys.