Posts by dubstepped

8

Fading challenges

by Addison0998 in

so the past few months since we’ve been married, we’ve hardly been going to the meetings.

and my mother says that an informer has been calling her to “tell on us” for not going to the meetings.

we’ve told some people that we have been attending meetings in a different area and hall since we are considering moving there.

And people here decry disassociating as "playing their game", lol. You either play their games to fade out and do your best to keep up appearances or you disassociate into freedom and let them deal with the fallout of their own dubbiness. I'm sorry you're dealing with this but it's what usually happens. Sometimes people can fade with no issues if the people around them are cool but that's rare.

You can play their games and fade or just get it over with by disassociating and go live your life. It's all choices. Play their games and hope to fade successfully including moving and dealing with their bullshit when you have kids or make friends on the outside and then disassociate and let them deal with the mess they made. It's not super easy either way. You have to do you. What pain are you willing to endure to get what you want?

17

Has anyone on here used this forum to announce they were out and revealed their real name?

by HiddenPimo in

just wondering if anyone has ever posted their personal information and have proof that the borg is watching and sent the gestapo to get them?.

i will be announcing my resignation and da myself - and i am objectively looking at either doing it bud dwyer (not really like him but by extension) style at a meeting or an email blast or just giving a letter to the boe?.

any advice is appreciated.

dubstepped

"Ranting and raving exjws", some of you sound just like them. The reality isn't that those that refuse to leave are necessarily cowards as I posted above for affect, just like the reality is that those that disassociate aren't the people you all make them out to be. If you don't have what it takes to disassociate that's cool, but why the labeling of those that do? The black and white thinking of those decrying disassociation is what I was parroting above.

By the way, you're not going to wake up people on your way out, nor will you by staying in. It can happen but doesn't often. People wake up because they're ready. You can be there for them, but you don't have to be passive in staying inside to do so.

The narratives of disassociation by those discouraging it are bullshit. The same people decrying it as "playing their game" are often her whining about the games they have to play by fading. Are there people that regret disassociating? Sure. But focusing on the few regrets over the majority that have no such regrets is ridiculous. The desire to paint people a certain way by projecting your own stuff is very human, but not productive. Disassociating was our way to stop playing the game, to end it and to remove that awful label and everything Jehovah's Witnesses stand for off of us. I would hate to be mistaken for one.

Disassociate or don't but don't ask others how to live your life. And if you can't be supportive of someone's decision, why discourage people?

In the black crab story when one tries to leave the bucket they've been collected in the others pull it back down. Why? Because if that one has what it takes to leave why can't they? So they discourage it from doing something they aren't ready for. A lot of people sound like they're still in the bucket.

If you want to stay in the bucket, by all means do so. But don't mislabel and miscategorize those that get out just because you chose a different path.

There are pros and cons to various paths. Weigh them for yourself. I have respect for people that leave in any capacity but I have little respect for those that use their path as a way to put down or discourage others. My post above was trying to reflect the others here. It's easy to label others who make decisions different to yours. It's harder to respect everyone's right to autonomy, the very thing we're supposed to get in leaving a cult.

18

How many would leave the organization right now if the shunning rule was removed?

by HiddenPimo in

dream scenario: everyone is made aware of all the wrongs, the false prophecies / csa problem / double standards - .

and they would not shun, how many would jump ship?.

my parents are fully aware of the sins of the org.

dubstepped

As I said in your other post about it, I look at it another way. What if all of the people scared of being shunned took steps to force shunning by officially leaving? How many JWs would be forced to do something they may not be dehumanized enough to do by shunning people they love? What if having to shun would wake them up because it hurts and is so unnatural? What if their shunning may be the one button we could push that would force them to experience the ugliness they're involved in but we're too scared to do it?

I can say that having to shun my brother, and doing so for years, was the one constant thing pinging the cognitive dissonance in my mind and even before realizing that "The Truth" was a lie that one thing helped me realize how manipulative it all was. Waking up isn't often a one step process but that one thing was a constant source of just feeling like something wasn't quite right. My first act of rebellion, even before fully waking up, was taking a stand to see my brother again.

17

Has anyone on here used this forum to announce they were out and revealed their real name?

by HiddenPimo in

just wondering if anyone has ever posted their personal information and have proof that the borg is watching and sent the gestapo to get them?.

i will be announcing my resignation and da myself - and i am objectively looking at either doing it bud dwyer (not really like him but by extension) style at a meeting or an email blast or just giving a letter to the boe?.

any advice is appreciated.

dubstepped

Why keep playing their game and giving tacit approval to the awful things they do by failing to take a stand? Why show them that they can get away with anything they want and you'll keep trying to appease them like an abuse victim? You took a stand when you went in, why not take one when you leave? Why do people continue to live without true freedom because they let fear of rejection keep them from writing a simple letter, playing all types of mental games to justify their inaction?

Take whatever stand you want. To thine own self be true while the cowards judge you.

5

A film on the Amish and those that leave

by days of future passed in

it's a simple but telling film of two families that leave the amish.

they experience what jw's do when leaving.

the film maker has a slow but interesting view of what goes on in the amish religion as well as the challenges that the two families have.

dubstepped

So I just watched it. Holy crap that was depressing. I'm not sure if this new evangelical thing is better or worse. It was all so bleak, and the dad's didn't care about their kids one bit. It was all about serving the lord and worries about money while they did no work. The kids suffered. The shot of the little girl getting chemo and the dad just says "that's $78 dollars" while the documentarian tells her she did a good job and she smiles is the summary. All of the adults are narcissists that only care about saving their souls and repping the lord while their kids suffer. It's all so familiar, and so sad. In the end even the ones that left still look and act Amish just with what may be more extreme belief. Ugh.

5

A film on the Amish and those that leave

by days of future passed in

it's a simple but telling film of two families that leave the amish.

they experience what jw's do when leaving.

the film maker has a slow but interesting view of what goes on in the amish religion as well as the challenges that the two families have.

dubstepped

Interesting, I'll have to check it out. I have interviewed two Amish for my podcast, and a Mennonite. According to the one Amish person I have edited and up officially on the podcast, Torah, there is an issue with Amish leaving and joining super conservative kind of militant Christian religions. I guess it makes sense that they may be drawn to fundamentalist religions and only get partially free. I'm commenting in part to mark this. Hopefully I'll be able to get some time to watch and remember to. Thanks for sharing this.

27

My Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain Moment...

by HiddenPimo in

this is my first post.

i am physically in and mentally out.

well i will not be offering a tl/dr version as that would be too difficult and it would also be an oversimplification of how i got to see the man behind the curtain.. my story begins at the 2016 regional convention of jehovah's witnesses.

dubstepped

I have mixed feelings about the shunning thing. What if all of those people jumped now and thousands upon thousands were suddenly faced with having to shun loved ones immediately. I wonder how many it would wake up to the ugliness that they're really involved in.

Then again, whether as presently constituted or if shunning were done away with the doctrine and culture dehumanizes those that leave to an extent that most would probably react no differently. It's a fascinating topic. It also gets into the nature of belief and how it often exists against all evidence.

27

My Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain Moment...

by HiddenPimo in

this is my first post.

i am physically in and mentally out.

well i will not be offering a tl/dr version as that would be too difficult and it would also be an oversimplification of how i got to see the man behind the curtain.. my story begins at the 2016 regional convention of jehovah's witnesses.

dubstepped

I couldn't leave quietly either. Disassociating was that immediate end game that both my wife and I wanted. I love hearing what woke you up, and how it touched off all of those other things that we all put up on the shelf until that one more thing happens that makes it all come crashing down. I recently interviewed someone that woke up because of the new songs and song book. Music was big for her and that was the feather that landed on her shelf and broke it loose.

Live your life man. Life free. Do you and be happy! Welcome to the forum!

25

Dating question from a bible student

by Biblestudent1 in

i have done bible study for about four months now.

the married couple who do it with me are lovely.

i have attended meetings for about two months.

dubstepped

JWs require chaperones for dating. JWs don't date outside of their kind per their interpretation of Biblical mandate. JWs only date for marriage.

More important than the dating angle, I must ask if you really know what you're going into. Yes, you study with a lovely couple. That lovely couple would let their child die refusing blood transfusions, would never let that child have friends outside the JW group to any real extent. That lovely JW couple would shun their child, family, friends, or each other if one ever left that faith.

Please realize that you are unknowingly dealing with what amounts to a "high control religion", a cult. We've all been there. We've all lost families. We've all realized that much of what we were taught were lies and propaganda.

Please, for your own sake, don't get wrapped up in the cult, nor a cult member. Your life will never be the same. Do your own research with an open mind.

Oh, and welcome! :)

25

Beroean Pickets- please offer encouragement

by Lightgrowsbrighter in

jw
friends

for many who have left jw.org, there is still a spiritual need and faith in the bible.

beroean pickets is one group/website where serious bible research and commentary, weekly critical reviews of wt studies, as well expose's of flawed wt opinion/doctrine- all backed by the bible- can be considered.

this vast amount of work and research is all done by just a small group of our volunteer brothers and sisters.

dubstepped

Most people don't know who Eric is. I know of him and read his stuff early on before becoming atheist but I seriously doubt this is going to cause waves of negative publicity or backfire on them big time. He's not thar important in the grand scheme of things, just like I'm not, neither are any of as activists. The people in the cult don't know or care who we are. 99.9%of the world outside doesn't care biut us particularly either. So I'm not sure how this is going to make much impact outside of Eric and those adjacent to him.

I'm glad he's done what he's done. It's helped people. Maybe there's someone that follows his work that this pushes over the edge to leave the cult. If so, great! But people run around acting like this or that minor thing is going to bring the Borg down. Not even close. They got away with 1975 and overlapping generations. This is nothing.