Hello! Thanks for posting your story. That was a heavy read, and you've been through a lot. It's beautiful to see that you've made it through though, and that shows a lot about the type of person that you are. Very inspiring! I recently posted my story too and I hope that sharing was cathartic for you like it was for me. I will likely soon stop visiting here myself. Like you, I too find myself negatively impacted by many of the things that I read on here and elsewhere. Be well, and take care of yourself first. I wish you all the health and happiness in the world. We all deserve it after what we've been through.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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25
Long Story of my Life/Experience
by GrownMidget inalso, my wife has come to her limits of understanding me about the witnesses related grief i have been having.
she has told me many times to stop reading the ex-witness sites because i get depressed and become angry, which sadly is true.
it's not very productive to be sad throughout the entire day and then shout at your wife for the reason she has no first hand experience about, therefore how could she possibly know and help?
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Retirement Planning for ex-JW's
by Simon inthis is something i think about a lot, possibly because i'm just getting older.
it seems that not only should i finally one day decide what i want to do with my life, but i should also be planning for retirement.. hands up everyone who feels their future has been royally screwed by the wts experience?.
if you were a good jw and followed the wts advice you could well be finding yourself facing middle or even old age without much or anything put aside in retirement savings.
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dubstepped
Giordano: Dubstepped: I'm looking at a Roth IRA invested in good index funds from here to retirement.
"in his recently released letter to Berkshire Hathaway shareholders, Buffett gives us a glimpse into how he views long-term investing. As arguably the greatest stock picker of our time, his perspectives may surprise you.
Buffett describes advice he has left in his will as to how the trustee should invest money Buffett is leaving for his wife. Here’s Buffett’s advice:
“My advice to the trustee could not be more simple: Put 10 percent of the cash in short-term government bonds and 90 percent in a very low-cost S&P 500 index fund. (I suggest Vanguard’s.)”Thanks for the share. I went through most of Tony Robbin's book on money (it was long winded and full of fluff but I got the main points) and that's where I was introduced to index funds. I've already picked out my funds on Vanguard, actually. I'll take care of it myself instead of giving a percentage to other people to manage it for me.For us, by retirement our house will have been paid off for some time. If we save as we hope to we can retire semi-comfortably. The reality though is that anything can happen. A weird physical ailment could be devastating even with insurance if it cuts one or both of us off from working. We clean houses so we aren't exactly making a huge salary each, though together we do fine and we're willing to hustle and work as much as we need to, always taking on extra work here and there. It is a physical job, and who knows how long we can physically keep up the pace. All we can do is the best we can with what we've got and see where the chips fall. Life is unpredictable.
I watched my dad "retire" when his kidneys failed and he went on disability and such. He was near 60 years of age. My parents didn't have any preparation for retirement. No money at all. No real assets to speak of. They'll survive for sure, and with a low income his entire working life my guess is that his benefits and such probably aren't high. I just want to be sure that we are taken care of, and especially my wife should something ever happen to me. -
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One Year Later - A Thank You to Tony Morris.
by cappytan indear anthony morris, iii:.
i wanted to send you a note of "thanks" on this special day.. why is this day special, you may ask?
one year ago today, you, tony, woke me up to the fact that the governing body could not have jehovah's blessing or direction.. last year, on november 8th & 9th, 2014, the united states branch visit was broadcast to over 1,000,000 jehovah's witnesses across the country.. as i sat at the kingdom hall listening to the "historic occasion," i was ignoring certain doubts that had surfaced in the few months prior.
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dubstepped
I can't say I have much to add, but I just wanted to congratulate you Cappytan. That was a big moment for me too. Millions of people that they could address in any way they wished, and they showed their ass. I'm really happy for you, your wife, and your kids. I believe we both joined here around the same time and it's nice to see the story of others on a similar timeline. -
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Retirement Planning for ex-JW's
by Simon inthis is something i think about a lot, possibly because i'm just getting older.
it seems that not only should i finally one day decide what i want to do with my life, but i should also be planning for retirement.. hands up everyone who feels their future has been royally screwed by the wts experience?.
if you were a good jw and followed the wts advice you could well be finding yourself facing middle or even old age without much or anything put aside in retirement savings.
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dubstepped
As I posted in my story on here, my wife and I were awful with money. We now use YNAB to track everything we do. We live one month ahead in our budget, always paying next month's living expenses as we work this month. We work more than needed to make sure that we can save and take care of unseen expenses. I'm 38 years old and for the first time ever we'll likely be investing this year for retirement. I'm looking at a Roth IRA invested in good index funds from here to retirement.
It's so nice not living in fear of money issues every month. I probably shaved years off my life with all of the money stress I put myself through.
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Jehovah's witnesses are the fastest growing religion.
by hoser inthat is what the speaker said in his public talk this morning.
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dubstepped
Their obsession with numbers is reflective of the corporation they serve. If only it was fruitages of the spirit that they were obsessed about. They wouldn't have to care so much about numbers then. I'm not even sure he's right. I'm sure he did no research and just parroted what others say. -
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JW Broadcasting—November 2015
by wifibandit inhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i09wzqof4zi.
ha!
that is supposed to make people go back?!
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dubstepped
Ah Sister Yuen, what a fine example of martyrdom and child abandonment. If this is the example I've heard before elsewhere, I'm pretty sure she was begged to stop preaching and was locked up over 20 years but it was many different instances, not just the one or two shown here. She simply refused to stop and let someone else go do the preaching. Instead she stubbornly kept going out and left her own family to keep being sent to prison. She didn't even try to hide her actions. Yet here she is praised as a fine example. Hmmm.....now that I think about it, maybe it was in Crisis of Conscience that she was mentioned? Regardless, she put Jehovah first in preaching to others, her own family be damned. Nice work! I'm sure nobody else could have done that work while she raised a family, only her. -
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Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses
by dubstepped in"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".
those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.
what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?
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dubstepped
Thanks for the continued comments. Everyone that takes the time to read that means a lot to me. I was able to share this post on Facebook with my friends and they shared it and some of their friends have shared it even more. To see it make an impact on those that are non-JW's out there and to be able to give them a glimpse into this world and just to be seen and not hide anymore is a beautiful thing. I want people to see what really goes on and what those of us that have been in, and those who are in, are subjected to. And I love my brothers and sisters who are out and who still suffer loss even with your newly found freedom. People here inspired my wife and I to free ourselves, and we strive to give back. -
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Where are you from?
by BeautifulMind ini know we are all anonymous for our own personal reasons, so i understand if you would rather not say.
but if you don't mind sharing that would be cool.
i currently live in georgia, usa.
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dubstepped
Louisville Kentucky -
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Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses
by dubstepped in"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".
those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.
what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?
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dubstepped
I'm glad to see the positive response. I really tried to avoid putting specifics in regarding our family members. Believe me, I could have written at least that much, if not more, about our respective family dysfunctions. The book on "The Narcissistic Family" was great for identifying how the Borg creates narcissists out of people, but it was also helpful in dealing with both of our families. Both of us grew up with parents that were sons/daughters of alcoholic families and our family lives mirrored much of that without any alcohol. I have so many stories, but I wanted to keep this primarily JW centered.
Thanks for the kind words. It means a lot to know that the pain you go through is what is common to men, so to speak, that you're not alone. At my worst, when suicide seemed like a good option at times, one of the biggest issues was that I felt so very alone. In the Borg nobody is transparent. Imperfections are fodder for gossip and possibly even counsel from elders. It fosters a spirit of keeping everything close to your chest, not letting the real you show, not admitting where you struggle. There's no community to be found over struggles. It is nice to find such community here.
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Suicide or Real Freedom? - My Story As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses
by dubstepped in"sometimes i think the only thing i could do that wouldn't upset someone would be to kill myself.".
those were the frustrated words of my friend as we stood out in his large yard in the country, just about to enjoy a nice bonfire on a beautiful night.
what was it that could have been a lesser evil than killing himself?
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dubstepped
I know this is long and it looks even longer once I posted it. It was suggested that I break it up, and if you guys request that I can see what I can do. It took me a long time to get everything down and to stop changing things around because I'm a perfectionist. I wanted to release this into the wild, so to speak, to hopefully help others. It is written not just for ex-JW's, but for everyone as I take time to explain things that many of you guys know already.
I lost all formatting when I pasted my text into the forum, and after reformatting it all most of the work I did was lost when I clicked to post it. I went back feverishly trying to fix things, so if there are paragraphs that are too long I did my best. I'm also up against the clock, as I'm heading out the door for work (or I'm supposed to be, lol).
I hope someone finds this valuable.
Mike