It seems to me that most ex-JWs just want to forget the past and move on to a normal life. I'm getting there myself. They don't want to be a JW or ex for the rest of their lives, so they walk away from all of it, and I can't blame them.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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55
Why so few XJWs online?
by StephaneLaliberte innot too long ago, i posted a topic where i pointed out that there are about 1 million xjws alive right now.
that number only represented the disfellowshipped ones... didn't account for those who had become publishers and left or anyone else who got hurt by that group by proxy.
so, why are there so few of them online?
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25
And then it hit me: we were abused
by Anders Andersen infrom a psychcentral (run by mental health professionals): a familiar item on a list of 7 types of parental abuse :.
spiritual abuse.
has the child experienced:dichotomous thinking – dividing people into two parts: those who agree with the parent and those who don’t.
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dubstepped
David_Jay - You don't see Witnesses and their children constantly peeing themselves in public places or throwing up in church or school each and everyday because of having been made to follow the rules and miss Christmas. But I would do these things all the time due to the abuse I suffered as a child because I couldn't express emotionally what was happening to me at home when I was in the hands of my father and mother.
Following strict rules in the Witness religion doesn't leave you with bruises, with bloody noses, with concussions or sore genitals and a bleeding bum. Abuse does. Being taught there are evil spirits or Armageddon that can come any day now is not the same as being tied up and gagged and locked in a closet for a day or two, having to live in your own feces and urine.David, with all due respect, these words set your particular horrific example of abuse up as abuse, and you set apart following rules and missing Christmas or being taught about evil spirits or Armageddon as something that isn't abuse. Of course, the OP isn't just talking about simply those matters, but even those matters may have felt very abusive, and as a former JW you know there is more to what is going on than merely being told not to celebrate Christmas or that Armageddon is coming. I can't read those words and not see you holding your example of abuse up as one to measure others against.
My intent wasn't to shame you for your words, though maybe it came off that way. Intent is hard to read in these highly charged emotional subjects. My apologies if you felt shamed by my response, but my intent was to show that others don't have to feel bad about calling what happened to them abuse because abuse is more about how a person feels than a list of xyz that constitutes "abuse" in an official list. My intent was also to shine light on what I have seen as almost a competition of abuse, where people have a hard time giving weight to what happened to them because someone else had it worse, or where someone that had it worse has a hard time giving weight to what others went through because it wasn't seemingly as bad.
We may disagree on what constitutes abuse, and you have your right to your feelings on it, as I do mine. I've expressed on here how much I value your posts, but this one took me aback because I had to give weight to my own abuse even though there were no physical scars in order to begin to heal. My mom literally wished my dad would hit her so that she could give weight to it and get out. We all speak to these things from our own experiences and lens and this is an opportunity for us all to learn by speaking to these things. I'll bow out now, but I hope this shines some light on what I wrote. My intent was pure, even if I perhaps was taken aback and reacted too harshly to what I perceived as a harsh view. I do sometimes tend to see things differently than others, so if I misread my apologies are in order.
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And then it hit me: we were abused
by Anders Andersen infrom a psychcentral (run by mental health professionals): a familiar item on a list of 7 types of parental abuse :.
spiritual abuse.
has the child experienced:dichotomous thinking – dividing people into two parts: those who agree with the parent and those who don’t.
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dubstepped
@David_Jay - I appreciate your take, but not all abuse results in bruising, sore genitals, etc. You are taking your situation and making it the bar for abuse. Abuse also occurs in strictly emotional terms, and honestly it frightens me for those that you work with that you have such a narrow view of abuse. In fact, trying to tell people that feel abused that they aren't simply because it wasn't as bad as you had it is itself abusive. Invalidation of others fits right in line with emotionally abusive behavior.
Let me also add that I'm sorry for what you went through. It sounds like a person's worst nightmare. However, again that doesn't make it the measure of the spectrum of abuse.
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Best of Topics
by Simon insome people had a penchant for posting their topics directly into the "best of topics" area.
it seemed more than a little arrogant to me that some imagined their every utterance was immediately a greatest hit but maybe people weren't clear on what that area was intended for .... from now on you won't be able to start new topics there.
if anyone wants to submit a topic to be added there (perhaps an index to a curated list of other topics by a user or on a certain subject / theme) then just start one in "suggestions" and pm me and, if it is suitable, then i'll move it into there.. existing topics posted there recently have been moved to more appropriate areas..
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dubstepped
Hi Larry, and welcome! You should click on "post new topic", maybe choose the "friends" category, and introduce yourself. Feel free to tell us your story, and you'll find lots of support.
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About 1.8 Millions disfellowshipped since 1981 and about 1.3 Million still are!
by StephaneLaliberte inthis means that for every 6 publishers, there is a disfellowshipped person.
this statistic doesn't take into account all of the kids that become/removed as publishers and receive a similar treatment from their family.
conclusion: jehovah's witnesses do break up families.
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dubstepped
Ah, but it's the victim of disfellowshipping that they blame for breaking up the family. You're 100% correct, but it's all a matter of where blame is placed, and we all know that narcissists...errr...Jehovah's Witnesses, are never wrong.
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US vs THEM
by Anders Andersen ini still remember that feeling.
thank god it's gone for good.
i used to be part of us witnesses.
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dubstepped
Not to derail the thread, but the book is very insightful Schnell. "The Power of Now" is good too, but "A New Earth" seemed to be that book but taken to another level, so TPON wasn't really needed anymore, in my opinion. Enjoy!
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US vs THEM
by Anders Andersen ini still remember that feeling.
thank god it's gone for good.
i used to be part of us witnesses.
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dubstepped
I liked it too. I read Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth" and it was the first time I realized how alike we all are, how we're all just one mass of humanity, and it really opened my eyes to a lot of things. Suddenly feeling that I could just talk to anyone anywhere I was and maybe have a friendly conversation without the goal of brainwashing them was so amazing. Good for you!
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Baumgartner - Dr. Mark Morehart: State of Washington Appeal Court - aborted use of cell saver machine
by darkspilver infor information:.
court of appeals of the state of washingtondivision iidocket number: 48070-1file date: 01/24/2017.
keisha baumgartner appeals the summary judgment dismissal of her medical malpractice wrongful death claim against anesthesiologist dr. mark morehart and columbia anesthesia group, p.s.
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dubstepped
When did "the safest" equate to "without risk"? I believe that's called a "straw man" fallacy, and kind of shows that you're not as unbiased in favor of the dubs as you claim to be.
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Baumgartner - Dr. Mark Morehart: State of Washington Appeal Court - aborted use of cell saver machine
by darkspilver infor information:.
court of appeals of the state of washingtondivision iidocket number: 48070-1file date: 01/24/2017.
keisha baumgartner appeals the summary judgment dismissal of her medical malpractice wrongful death claim against anesthesiologist dr. mark morehart and columbia anesthesia group, p.s.
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dubstepped
@Richard - Who said blood transfusions were without risk?
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dubstepped
I'm not sure that people like her even could get into fighting other cults. She knows Scientology inside and out. She can't know JWs or anyone else to that level, nor would she have the same passion. I like to think that her show on one cult is a show on all cults though, as there are similarities that might help a person wake up.
She had a career in tv and I'm sure that helped a lot in not only getting this on tv but just getting noticed in the first place. Scientology has big names in it so people care. Few care about JWs.
Oh, and Poopie, LHG just stated her opinion and you got bent out of shape. That doesn't bode well for you in reaching out to others. She didn't try to control you, you're likely just incredibly susceptible to it. After all, you still go to meetings and are obsessed with the shunning doctrine, so the Watchtower has its hooks in you. Nobody here is trying to control you.