Posts by dubstepped

26

My Story

by WeatherLover in

jw
friends

i'm a 4th generation jw.

i started to realize it wasn't the truth over 2 years ago in late october/early november 2014. i don't know how exactly it happened.

i remember i had just heard about confirmation bias, and it hit me: i realized that i would be guilty of confirmation bias if i didn't look at the other side.

Healthy boundaries (of which JWs know nothing) are where you end and I begin. You have to live your life for you, not them. There's a great book called "Boundaries" by Dr. Henry Cloud that helped me, just one of many that helped me get emotionally healthy enough to take my life back.

Welcome to the forum. You'll find nice and supportive people here, and a few that aren't so. For all of us that wasted too many years of our lives asleep in the organization, do us all a favor and go live a happy and free life. Your parents get to choose how they react. That's all on them. You can't control that and have no responsibility to live your life the way they are most comfortable with. Their love is conditional and most JWs are about control, which sadly is not love. Who has greater love, the person that only loves you for being exactly what they want, or the person who loves you for who YOU are?

32

Scientology Superbowl Ad

by azor in

jw
friends

simply disgusted with that double standard by our system at times.

cutting ads that question trumps bigoted wall, yet allowing a cult ad in.

wtf..

dubstepped

I never saw the Scientology commercial. I may have missed it, but my wife (who is into the commercials) missed it too. I wonder if it was regional or everywhere.

9

Shun Glasses

by Tallon in

saw this on another exjw site and had a good laugh.. hope you get a kick out of it too ;).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bb2wzmfccdq&feature=youtu.be.

dubstepped

That was great! Thanks for sharing.

78

The handling of child abuse allegations

by Landy in

there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

dubstepped

Oh, and I guarantee you that if the cult leaders told dubs to go to the police instead of the passive aggressive comdemning of it, they would go.

78

The handling of child abuse allegations

by Landy in

there's a lot of criticism surrounding the jw's handling of chiild abuse within their ranks with a lot of it being well deserved.

but i'm interested to know how people on here think child abuse allegations should be handled.

there's a few scenarios below, the first couple are easy then it gets a bit more complex.

dubstepped

Step 1 is going to the police.

Step 2 can be going to the elders so that they are on notice. They don't need to investigate gory details so much as to know to watch a person.

That's about all one can do. Both those inside the cult and outside are then put on notice.

52

My families shunning has gone to a whole new level

by pale.emperor in

8 months df'd.

loving a life of freedom.

however, my family are all shunning me.

dubstepped

Man, I feel for you PE. Your mom is sick, and it's unlikely that she'll get better. This is just my opinion, but I don't think your daughter should be around such a sick person. She might catch it. You can invite the cousins over or find new kids for her to play with. The more entrenched the relationship with your mom becomes, the harder it will be when your daughter has to leave your mom behind. People put so much emphasis on family that they risk toxic environments to try to make things work. I know it's hard, and at the same time easy for me to say, but I'd cut your mom off completely out of love for your little girl.

19

Conditional Love

by Saethydd in

i've noticed several posts recently claiming that jw friends and family members give out conditional love.

well, i'm not so sure that is entirely accurate, in fact, i would say they tend to be very steadfast in their love.

the issue is this, they have been taught a poor form of love.

dubstepped

So what you're saying is that they were taught conditional love and exhibit its traits, but it's not conditional love, though that's exactly what it is.

62

What have been some of the funniest local needs talks that you have heard?

by DaPriest in

i remember once in berlin south germany there was a local needs part for the men only, and how they should use the toilet.

in all seriousness for ten minutes a retarded nigerian was going on about how men need to sit down when using the toilet.

no mention of anything else.. it transpired that some little kraut boy from an "interested" family would aim for the side of the toilet and leave a great big puddle for others to clean up.

dubstepped

Not a local needs talk, but during the announcements one young married ex-Bethelite brother with a flair for the dramatic (or just an arrogant prick) got up with a special announcement. Sisters, apparently we're having an issue with the plumbing due to some sisters flushing sanitary napkins. With a dramatic arm flair he raised up a hand holding paper towels, and the sisters died laughing while his wife was mortified and turned bright red. He was such an asshat. Couldn't have happened to a better person.

55

Why so few XJWs online?

by StephaneLaliberte in

not too long ago, i posted a topic where i pointed out that there are about 1 million xjws alive right now.

that number only represented the disfellowshipped ones... didn't account for those who had become publishers and left or anyone else who got hurt by that group by proxy.

so, why are there so few of them online?

dubstepped

Although I've given my feelings on it already, I just thought I'd speak to the dichotomy that is my wife and I. Although we left together, my wife was just done, while I spent time here and other places reading and challenging what I held dear for so many years. It wasn't just enough for me to say I was done, I wanted to put everything that I ever believed in to the test, and have bookmarked so many things here that were points I had never thought of. I still listen to JW Podcast and others, though I've never been heavy into videos. My wife, although she's interested to hear things if I want to share, never did anything. She left them, and just dropped the whole thing like a bad habit.

We've been out for just over a year since we disassociated. I'm still in the game and honestly some days I wish I could be like my wife and just drop it. She can't even remember some of the beliefs, though when we were in she struggled with some of that. She'd write a talk and read it to me and I'd have to correct her and tell her that you can't say this or that on the platform as that's not what we believe, lol. So I guess it makes sense to some degree why she left so easily and for me it was more of an exercise. Still, to just walk away almost like it never happened sounds so peaceful at times. Then again, when a chance to help someone comes up, she's not able to articulate beliefs and work with them as well as I can. Different strokes for different folks.

55

Why so few XJWs online?

by StephaneLaliberte in

not too long ago, i posted a topic where i pointed out that there are about 1 million xjws alive right now.

that number only represented the disfellowshipped ones... didn't account for those who had become publishers and left or anyone else who got hurt by that group by proxy.

so, why are there so few of them online?

dubstepped

I get your desire to help and feel similarly. Not everyone is wired that way though. Also, many are in too much pain to help because they never worked it all out themselves. Many were dfed and had a sudden shock, they don't get therapy or any help, and they live in denial of the dub part of them. I had time to get out and it took years to do so. I got rid of the brainwashing. Most don't. It's just safer for them to shut the door on that messy room and pretend that it doesn't exist. We apostates are the minority.