i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.
i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.
i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.
Bro. Mack gave a depressing talk that made the rounds and was circulated about how "we're all living on pills and prayers", and he was right.
My depression, social anxiety, etc. pretty much all went away after leaving the cult. Go be happy Phoebe and leave the fellowship of the miserable behind. Good for you!
i've created a poll here: https://goo.gl/7xburo.
i'd be interested in seeing the results.. .
#qp_main1119848 .qp_btna:hover input {background:#00355f!important} #qp_all1119848 {max-width:815px; margin:0 auto;}if watchtower scrapped the shunning policy due to "new light" and your family suddenly agreed to speak to you again would you accept them back?.
I voted "MAYBE" and do appreciate some of what jp brought out above, particularly that I've never really been the shunner here so I don't have to accept anyone back, as I never sent them off anywhere.
For me it would come down to their attitude. First, I don't believe that if "new light" came out that allowed them to speak to me they necessarily would. They have feelings that go along with the shunning. It isn't like these people just shun because they have to. Many take a person leaving very personally as if it is about them.
I get that many want a relationship with their family. I would welcome that, IF IT WAS HEALTHY. There is the big cause of the "maybe". I think a lot of these people are super unhealthy and toxic human beings. They would still be Jehovah's Witnesses and they'd still give their allegiance to a cult. Healthy people don't tend to do that. So the chances that somehow the Borg says that new light has now abolished shunning and our family members suddenly become healthy is infinitesimal.
Jehovah's Witnesses do many horrible things, including but not limited to shunning. They are toxic aside from that one doctrine. I guess maybe I should have said NO, but I like to give people a chance and who knows, maybe some of them know TTATT and are stuck themselves, but again that's a small chance.
we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
@ruby - way to address nothing and pick on my use of one point in your downplaying of it all. All you are doing is minimizing what others have gone through, or maybe didn't quite make it through.
we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
Who the hell are you Ruby to speak to what is enough to create a suicide in an INDIVIDUAL that is not you? You can't know what an individual may or may not be able to take, what they have the tools to overcome, etc. True, one thing doesn't often a suicide make, but it could be any one thing that pushes someone over the edge.
I also don't know how you can say that mentally ill people don't join. It happens all the time. People with trauma or mental illness are attracted to them.
I believe that the cult not only attracts but also creates mental illness. Leaving relieved me of so much, and I left so many mentally ill people behind. You are asserting things as though you know absolutes. Your minimization above of them being nothing more than a high commitment group is what is crazy. They're much more than that.
Additionally, asserting that suicide is easily preventable, just go get help and don't escape into detrimental things shows a profound lack of understanding as to how people with things like depression act. They often don't care about themselves enough to get good help or don't have the energy to do so.
we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.
my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.
i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.
For me (just related my own suicidal thoughts in my podcast), I think it comes down to certain combinations of triggers.
1. Immense pressure to be more
2. Pressure to conform leads to lack of authenticity
3. Constant talk about mortality
4. The FOG that dominates the culture and breeds severe depression
5. The lack of care for this life because it doesn't matter apart from earning a better one through drudgery
6. The constant talk about this wicked world and how awful daily life in it is robs people of the ability to see any beauty around them, another contributor to severe depression.
episode 6 of this jw life is now live.
it is a brutally honest, at times dark, look into what it was like behind the scenes in our lives.
people don't talk openly about ugly parts of their lives and it leads to other people feeling alone when theirs gets ugly.
You're very welcome SIAR2. I'm trying to be brutally honest because nobody should feel as alone in the world as I did, partially because people hide their real lives.
My wife is a pretty easy going person. I'm the uptight one. Each side has it's own strengths and weaknesses, and the good news is that we've found better balance. She's cool with me sharing whatever will help, though I still run things by her to make sure she's okay with them first if they involve her or her family, and I try to walk lines here with regard to other players in the story. I could post lots of things that would add to the story but that would seem like piling on and that's not cool, which isn't fair to our families.
I've received so many beautiful messages of support from people that are exjws, never jws, and people have shared parts of their own stories with me. People want to feel seen and heard for what they went through. I hope to be able to figure out a way to make that happen after my personal story has been told.
just wanted to share with you some good news i'm really excited about.
i have been accepted for university to study psychology and counseling.
my goal is to become a counselor and, in time, to specialize on treating those who have left high control relationships/groups like we all did.. it'll take a few years before im qualified but studying in university has been a dream of mine since i was 12, which was systematically dashed to pieces by watchtower.. .
So awesome. I've thought of doing the same thing. Go crush it, maybe even wear some tight pants and wildly colored socks on your first day, and f#@! Tight Pants Tony.
episode 6 of this jw life is now live.
it is a brutally honest, at times dark, look into what it was like behind the scenes in our lives.
people don't talk openly about ugly parts of their lives and it leads to other people feeling alone when theirs gets ugly.
@Rodrigo - Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about doing. It will just take a lot more work and technical knowledge for the audio, but we'll see what I can make it. I was kicking around the idea of interviewing my wife first to see how that goes, though in person recording is different than over Skype or something.
Thanks for listening and chiming in. I can see a need to keep this going in some iteration. I'll just have to find one that fits for me.
episode 6 of this jw life is now live.
it is a brutally honest, at times dark, look into what it was like behind the scenes in our lives.
people don't talk openly about ugly parts of their lives and it leads to other people feeling alone when theirs gets ugly.
@StoneWall - It is funny that you too were a subbed out meter reader. Wow, that's quite a coincidence. If you chose this as a starting point, you jumped in deep. I hope you do listen to the rest and find something that helps you on your journey, even if it's just feeling less alone, which was huge for me.
@stuckinarut - Cool! I've tried to kind of be everywhere I can think to be so that I can help more people.
episode 6 of this jw life is now live.
it is a brutally honest, at times dark, look into what it was like behind the scenes in our lives.
people don't talk openly about ugly parts of their lives and it leads to other people feeling alone when theirs gets ugly.
@mvrht - You asked how many I'm going to do. I'm not 100% sure, but I see just a few more as far as my story goes. I named it THIS jw life instead of MY jw life to give myself options to take it further.
Thanks to you and WGO and others for being regular listeners, for reviews, encouragement, etc. This has been an intense process. This episode was tough to write, as have most, as it puts me back in an ugly part of my life.
I too liked JW Podcast, JW Escape, Apostate Awake, and now I like The Prodigal Boys. I wish more were regular too and understand what it is to wait intently on that next release. I love that I can contribute to that.
As much as I love you listening, I've received a lot of great feedback from people that aren't exjws. It makes me so happy and proud to be able to inoculate people against the cult.
