Posts by dubstepped

42

To Fade or Disassociate

by Jules Saturn in

hello to all, so i did want to talk about this topic because i think it is very important to me.

i have a grandfather who faded several decades ago.

he occasionally attends an assembly and the memorial but no longer attends meetings or goes on field service.

Originally we thought of fading, but we refused to play their games, so we disassociated and called it a day, and it has been so much more freeing than trying to fade and keep playing their toxic games. We weren't going to play pretend and stifle our lives just to keep toxic family that was already kind of shunning us. Many that fade end up shunned anyway. This way we could just go live our lives in peace and glorious freedom from the cult. Freedom is never free, there's a price. Disassociation is a magic button that ends it all, game over, go live your life and be authentic to the fullest. (It just appears that bolding things is cool in this thread so I did too, and I get tired of hearing how dumb disassociation is from people that haven't done it.)

Last night I saw my brother for the first time in years at a concert. I walked up and said hi to him and his wife, who looked at me, waved, realized it was me, turned red, and then looked away rather than look at me. That was the first time I've seen him since we disassociated. I'm still going to be me though, which is why I said hi to him and his wife. Sure, they can't talk to me, but by making him shun me like that I hope to wake up his inner humanity. If I just kept playing the game that would never have a chance of happening. We took a stand going into the organization, and we took a stand going out.

Ultimately, it's a personal decision. It comes down to what you're willing to endure, shunning or playing the game. I'll take shunning.

15

Episode 6 - Life Gets Dark As One Of Jehovah's Witnesses - Is Live Now

by dubstepped in

episode 6 of this jw life is now live.

it is a brutally honest, at times dark, look into what it was like behind the scenes in our lives.

people don't talk openly about ugly parts of their lives and it leads to other people feeling alone when theirs gets ugly.

dubstepped

@ironsnake - The book that I referenced is called "Driven to Distraction" by Ed Hallowell and James Ratey.

This week I'm going to give a lot of resources that helped me out. I think I'll try to give links and descriptions on my website for this particular episode in case it can help others. I'll include that one as well, as a few people have asked already. No affiliate links, not trying to sell books, just trying to help.

46

10 years on.....

by snare&racket in

jw
friends

i was a window cleaner, i was at the time unemployed, homeless.

i had no education to be proud of (high school one a two b's rest c's) i was a jehovahs witness.

i had been a pioneer.

dubstepped

The greatest revenge is a life well lived. Thanks for sharing your story. We need these positive outcomes shared. It is possible to live a great life today. No need to wait until a fairy tale comes true.

15

Let's talk about Don Adams.

by Ray Frankz in

it's interesting that the person of the president of wtbts has figured lesser and lesser since f. franz era.

i was born in the religion in the 90's and i got to know about russel, rutherford, knorr and franz; but i never knew until a couple of years ago that m. henschel was the president in that time.

the same happens with don adams now, the first wt president from the 'other sheep'.

dubstepped

@fulano - Hmmm, maybe two different Don Adams then. Or I'm misremembering the first name of that Adams. Pretty sure it's the same Ciranko, unless there's multiples of them floating around the Borg.

3

Chester Bennington dead (Linkin Park)

by Daniel1555 in

so sad.... 😟.

dubstepped

Celebrity deaths don't usually hit me, but this one does. Their music was a great escape for me as a JW. The first concert that my wife and I ever went to together was just after we disassociated and Linkin Park was the headliner. Chester had broken his leg and still went out and performed like a boss. He did have to cancel dates afterward, but he was up there in a full cast. My wife was in tears during that show. It was a huge moment for us, to be out in the big world at our first big concert, in our brand new life without our families and the cult. Some of the songs hit her hard.

Here is a video from that concert of Chester singing.

When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
And don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

https://youtu.be/IUVCQa9FcKM

15

Let's talk about Don Adams.

by Ray Frankz in

it's interesting that the person of the president of wtbts has figured lesser and lesser since f. franz era.

i was born in the religion in the 90's and i got to know about russel, rutherford, knorr and franz; but i never knew until a couple of years ago that m. henschel was the president in that time.

the same happens with don adams now, the first wt president from the 'other sheep'.

dubstepped

It's so weird for me to think back to having Adams and Ciranko as COs back in the day when I was a kid and project that to now. I don't remember them as bad guys.

50

Jehovah's people are not happy people

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

i finally stopped attending the meetings about 4 months go.

i won't be going back - ever.. but i've decided the best reply to the watchtower is to be happy and i do try to be happy every day even thought i wasted my entire life on this religion.

i cherish every day, practice mindfulness and do my best to be content with the life i have.. it is only now that i see that most jws i know are deeply unhappy people.

dubstepped

Bro. Mack gave a depressing talk that made the rounds and was circulated about how "we're all living on pills and prayers", and he was right.

My depression, social anxiety, etc. pretty much all went away after leaving the cult. Go be happy Phoebe and leave the fellowship of the miserable behind. Good for you!

13

A Poll Regarding Shunning

by pale.emperor in

i've created a poll here: https://goo.gl/7xburo.

i'd be interested in seeing the results.. .

#qp_main1119848 .qp_btna:hover input {background:#00355f!important} #qp_all1119848 {max-width:815px; margin:0 auto;}if watchtower scrapped the shunning policy due to "new light" and your family suddenly agreed to speak to you again would you accept them back?.

dubstepped

I voted "MAYBE" and do appreciate some of what jp brought out above, particularly that I've never really been the shunner here so I don't have to accept anyone back, as I never sent them off anywhere.

For me it would come down to their attitude. First, I don't believe that if "new light" came out that allowed them to speak to me they necessarily would. They have feelings that go along with the shunning. It isn't like these people just shun because they have to. Many take a person leaving very personally as if it is about them.

I get that many want a relationship with their family. I would welcome that, IF IT WAS HEALTHY. There is the big cause of the "maybe". I think a lot of these people are super unhealthy and toxic human beings. They would still be Jehovah's Witnesses and they'd still give their allegiance to a cult. Healthy people don't tend to do that. So the chances that somehow the Borg says that new light has now abolished shunning and our family members suddenly become healthy is infinitesimal.

Jehovah's Witnesses do many horrible things, including but not limited to shunning. They are toxic aside from that one doctrine. I guess maybe I should have said NO, but I like to give people a chance and who knows, maybe some of them know TTATT and are stuck themselves, but again that's a small chance.

149

why jw's commit suicide?

by notalone in

jw
friends

we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.

my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.

i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.

dubstepped

@ruby - way to address nothing and pick on my use of one point in your downplaying of it all. All you are doing is minimizing what others have gone through, or maybe didn't quite make it through.

149

why jw's commit suicide?

by notalone in

jw
friends

we all know the rate of suicide is high among jw's.

my question is this- was there some subliminal messages that encourage this.

i was a born in and my entire life i would have these thoughts that could come out of nowhere,"kill yourself.

dubstepped

Who the hell are you Ruby to speak to what is enough to create a suicide in an INDIVIDUAL that is not you? You can't know what an individual may or may not be able to take, what they have the tools to overcome, etc. True, one thing doesn't often a suicide make, but it could be any one thing that pushes someone over the edge.

I also don't know how you can say that mentally ill people don't join. It happens all the time. People with trauma or mental illness are attracted to them.

I believe that the cult not only attracts but also creates mental illness. Leaving relieved me of so much, and I left so many mentally ill people behind. You are asserting things as though you know absolutes. Your minimization above of them being nothing more than a high commitment group is what is crazy. They're much more than that.

Additionally, asserting that suicide is easily preventable, just go get help and don't escape into detrimental things shows a profound lack of understanding as to how people with things like depression act. They often don't care about themselves enough to get good help or don't have the energy to do so.