Um, I'm not trying to be a jerk, but it seems to be a theme that you come here asking people to write your jokes for you. I mean, the punchline IS the joke. As a "comedian" shouldn't that kind of be your job? Maybe I'm missing something here, but having us source things or whatever makes us the ones finding the comedy while you are the comedian.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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Help with a punchline please
by usualusername1 ini have a joke in my comedy routine about never wrapping a gift in my life.
it goes like this..... yesterday my girlfriend said "honey, when you go out shopping can you buy me sellotape?".
sellotape.
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The Second Coming of Christ
by maccauk inthe second coming of christ was in the 1st century at the destruction of jerusalem the temple the law and the old covenants.
so the new eternal covenant came into force in which people of every tribe tongue and naation would enter into.
the new jerusalem not built by human hands nor with bricks and mortar its spiritual cannot be seen but people will stream to it the sin issue is done there is no more judgment for those in christ .
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dubstepped
Fisherman is the resident JW here David. In case you haven't noticed, it's their world and we're just living in it. If you can't discuss things within the framework of the cult game that they want to play you're being unfair. It reminds me of a thread here where someone's active JW parents are going to the Homeowners Association with complaints because their neighbors put up Halloween decorations and they're afraid the brothers might mistake some of them as being theirs. Nevermind that the neighbors aren't infringing upon their property rights, the JWs throw a tantrum like a little boy or girl upset that mommy or daddy isn't playing right.
Fisherman can't have open discourse because he can't control the direction it goes to fit his tiny window of a narrative. You're right David, you don't have to play by his rules. It is the arrogance of a JW on display. 14 years of posting on here and he still thinks this is a JW forum. He tries to dominate every thread that piques his interest with his very narrow cult leanings.
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How Many Witnesses Would Really Take Blood?
by minimus inup until the very end, my mother refused blood.
it didn't matter if it was a blurred line or not, the bible says "no blood"!
i wonder if she was in the minority, in her thinking.
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dubstepped
14 years later and this moron hasn't figured out that we aren't Jehovah's Witnesses and that we don't care what his inane religious delusion teaches. It's absolutely mind boggling. He HAS to be sitting in his office in Warwick counting his time. One person getting owned over and over again around the same tireless arguments by the next generation of posters. It is amazing to watch. On one hand he says that all that matters is the Bible but then his cherished Governing Body goes beyond scripture to allow blood fractions and that's okay even though it's condemned in scripture to go beyond what is written. He vascillates hither and thither based on the flavor of the week as a slave to men. It is so heartbreakingly sad that one man can be that tortured and then comes here to embarrass himself. Nobody to love, nobody to be loved by, just a lonely deluded person that doesn't belong trying to be relevant in some way. How does the organization justify putting you up to this Fisherman?
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All this speculation.....
by pontoon inhere's mine... wat corp is flush with money.
there product is a hope--obey us and god might let you live.
gb knows they can say and change beliefs,doctrine, twist scripture without losing more then they gain.
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dubstepped
slimboyfat - A few facts that are not speculation:
1. Watchtower used to make millions of dollars a week selling books and magazines. That has completely dried up. Which is why making donations for the "worldwide work" of the organization instead of for books and magazines was a smart move. I can't speak for every JW worldwide, but we all know that most of the money donated came out of the individual member's pockets because few got many donations out door to door. So, do you think that these JWs that have been donating for this literature for years are suddenly going to stop giving just because they aren't taking books anymore? After all, the money wasn't for literature necessarily, it was for the overall "work". I seriously doubt many JWs have slowed their donations by much and certainly not to the level of being "completely dried up".
2. In 2015 the governing body made an appeal for more donations because they had a running deficit. See "pontoon's" comment above about the reality of such "deficits".
3. In 2015 they abandoned building projects and began laying off more than a quarter of their staff. I'll say that the abandoning of projects is strange on a level and maybe it does signify something. I don't know. Then again, they did a fantastic job of building hype for new KH designs and asking for money and then they haven't built. So it sounds like they got a bunch of money, once again, for a false promise. Laying off of staff is just further savings. That gives them more money. They have no need to support human beings that they don't need to support. Those people were expendable. It sounds more and more like a lean business model that is being hyped more and more in the business world.
4. They have cut printing of books and magazines back to bare bones. Maybe will eliminate entirely. See my response to point one. If they're still getting donations from the members, which is where they were coming from, then with a reduction of printing they're still making money on one end and saving it on the other.
5. Abuse claims are stacking up in many countries and membership figures are starting to decline. Can you provide numbers about membership declining? I haven't seen the latest, but every number I've seen year over year has increased (including memorial partakers, lol). Yes, abuse claims are stacking up. I agree with that. Where are all of the lawsuit payouts? A couple mil here and there aren't crippling in the least, or shouldn't be.
In my view they seem to be going to a more and more traditional mainstream religious feel. Ask for money constantly. Promise potential growth to the church and raise funds and then put off the renovations or additions for whatever reason while raking in money. Put up video boards and get into a more media driven message. I think they're learning from the successes of others. It's as simple as copying "best practices", another business term.
I think the Governing Body has shit for brains. I think they are idiots. However, they are also too stupid to have done this whole rebranding work that has been done. That speaks to someone behind the scenes to me, someone much more intelligent, someone that is pulling the strings and coming up with this flip flopping of how they present themselves, someone that pushed them out from behind the scenes, someone that came up with new marketing through the website and logo, someone that is savvy and that is really running things on some level. I don't know for sure, but think about it, do you see Morris or Lett or any of these guys as capable of running such an organization? Those guys can barely tie their shoes. Those guys were flopping on the JW Broadcasting so suddenly out comes the "helpers". If it was truly all just the GB running things, they would never have removed themselves more from the JW Broadcasts and shared the spotlight. I think someone behind the scenes saw the disaster that was those morons on screen and stepped in. There has to be more to the story that we don't see. There is so much hidden through various corporations and such, things that these guys couldn't possibly come up with.
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Dietary Quirks Among JWs
by millie210 ini recently had to accompany an older family member out of state to a family reunion.
it was a big reunion and not much was overtly made of the fact that i am "misguided" and not attending meetings (lost soul that i am) which was nice.
the thing i noticed that i was most struck by was all the dietary quirks in evidence during our 3 days together.
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dubstepped
I did notice a ton of "special" illnesses in the Borg. To some extent I think it's just people looking for any way to stand out as different.
With that said, I found out after leaving the cult that I have issues with lactose and yes, it's very real. It makes sense that some percentage of JWs have issues and the rest are just batshit crazy.
By the way, although I know it's a hardship having to bring food to something with everyone's particular issues, it's not exactly fun being the person with the issues. Lactose is in so much. We went to the big Harvest Homecoming Festival here on Friday with all of the great festival foods and I couldn't have 99% of it. It is a bummer. I went to a party Friday night with cake and cookies and buffalo chicken dip and queso and little hot dogs in crescent rolls and flavored chips and I couldn't have any of it.
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All this speculation.....
by pontoon inhere's mine... wat corp is flush with money.
there product is a hope--obey us and god might let you live.
gb knows they can say and change beliefs,doctrine, twist scripture without losing more then they gain.
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dubstepped
Everyone thinks they're going down the tubes toward financial insolvency but I too think they're flush with cash. I look at all of the measures they've taken as ways to fatten their wallets and think that they could cover any sexual abuse lawsuits without it making a dent. I know we all want to see them crash and burn and hope that finances bring them down but I personally don't see it.
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Barred from entering kh
by poopie ina friend of mine called last night we will call him tom.
he is df now for 2 yrs for associating with a a df person non relative.
anyway he arrived at the meeting this week and was informed by 3 elders that he was no longer welcomed at the hall.apparently he was caught greeting someone in the parking lot after meeting.
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dubstepped
So then poopie, they have a legal right to bar him. It's not rocket science.
Again, why does he want to be there where he's unwanted? Does he think tgat somehow he will get a lawsuit out if this or something?
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Barred from entering kh
by poopie ina friend of mine called last night we will call him tom.
he is df now for 2 yrs for associating with a a df person non relative.
anyway he arrived at the meeting this week and was informed by 3 elders that he was no longer welcomed at the hall.apparently he was caught greeting someone in the parking lot after meeting.
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dubstepped
Right, the law is the law. If I don't want you at my house and you come in I can go after you legally. I don't see where he has the law on his side. I'm open to understanding but it isn't reasonable from what I can see.
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Barred from entering kh
by poopie ina friend of mine called last night we will call him tom.
he is df now for 2 yrs for associating with a a df person non relative.
anyway he arrived at the meeting this week and was informed by 3 elders that he was no longer welcomed at the hall.apparently he was caught greeting someone in the parking lot after meeting.
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dubstepped
It's their private property. I'm pretty sure they can ask you not to return for no reason if they want. Disturbance or not, if they specifically tell you not to come back, you're not welcome. Why in the world would you want to go where you're not wanted? Shouldn't this be the impetus to leave them behind?
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Did you leave the JW RECENTLY? Really? Recently? WTF were you thinking?
by The Real Edward Gentry innot to be overly harsh...but if you just left, what the hell were you thinking?
between 1995 and now, you never did an internet search of "jehovahs-witness" or "watchtower"?
good god.
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dubstepped
People were indoctrinated to different levels. I love it when someone can't understand why everyone else isn't exactly like them, but believes that other people are weird, it can't be them even if theirs was the non-conforming story. Ummm, maybe because we're different. We grew up in different families with different pressures and different personalities. I was the oldest kid, both parents were rabid by the books dubs, and I was a natural people pleaser looking for love from two narcissists. That transferred over to the authoritarian and narcissistic Watchtower society that kept me locked down with fear of losing any hope for the future, the only one I had ever known, along with everyone I had ever known, maybe even my wife.
Good for you for getting out sooner. I'd be interested to know what your situation was growing up in it. The non "twat waffle" way of going about asking legitimate questions is to go in with humble curiosity rather than arrogant criticism, if you really want to know instead of trying to set yourself up on high.