Posts by dubstepped

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

dubstepped

Yep, you said it, she's a petfectionist. I'm a recovering perfectionist myself. She likely hates herself and is projecting that outward. She's not happy. The cult is one of perfectionism and subsequent control.

I don't know how to make her want to be happy. I wanted to be. There are cognitive distortions with perfectionism that are easy to point out, but a person has to want to be happy more than they want to feed their ego. There has to be humility at some point.

A book that helped me was "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar. It is about perfectionism and control.

I think the only chance you have with her is to get her to acknowledge her unhappiness and to get her help on a human level. Once she's a healthier human other dominoes can fall. At least that was my awakening process. I was deeply unhappy and searching for happiness. I found emotional health and then I could see how toxic the cult was.

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

dubstepped

I have no magic words but have read this with interest. I'm so sorry man, you're caught between a rock and a ticking time bomb of a wife, it seems.

I can only say what I would do. There's no right or wrong here, just different ways to address the situation and only you know what that truly is.

I would have to take a very firm stand for what is right. It's just the only way I work. But you're likely not that guy or you would have taken a stand against the verbal abuse long ago. It may not be in you. We're all wired differently. It's okay.

You have to find your voice somewhere in here. Only you can find it and figure out exactly what that looks like.

I'd encourage you to go to a therapist to have someone on your side. Maybe even get her to join you, if just once, to have someone there when you tell her what's up. It might create a safe space for that.

I feel for you. You're up against pure ego. You can't defeat ego, you have to disarm it, and that's very difficult. She over identifies with her thoughts, her feelings, her cult beliefs, etc. They are who she is, in her eyes. So any questioning of that is taken as a personal and direct attack on her.

Keep posting. Keep reaching out. You likely need to talk this stuff through. Find someone locally to get in your corner too. Find your voice not just for you, but for your kids. You have to do it for yourself first though. When an airplane is crashing you put the oxygen mask on yourself first. You can't help others, even your kids, from a weak state. It's time to build up you for YOU. Do you man. You have to if you're going to have a chance to put that mask on your kids.

10

Looking for a link to the truth be told movie

by blownaway in

i see this movie in parts but not the whole thing.

any links?

dubstepped

I think you have to buy it and it streams online from their site. If it's the one I'm thinking of that's what I did.

52

New to the truth

by MatthewHewey in

jw
friends

i have been meeting with member's of the kingdom hall, and i have attended a few times now on sundays.

i'd like to discuss experiences with this group since i'm new.

so far, i love it.

dubstepped

Oh my friend, I'm so sorry, and I mean that sincerely. Everyone wants to be loved and accepted and JWs will make you feel that way.... at first. The hallmark of any good cult is how great it feels to get in, but also how they destroy your life if you want to leave. They will tell you that people like us are mentally diseased, those are their literal words.

Have you ever seen an abusive relationship? Usually the abuser is charismatic and people on the outside think they're great, but the person they're with knows different.

If you want the inside scoop listen to my podcast, a 9 part series called This JW Life. You'll learn what it's really like. Go to thisjwlife.com and listen there if you need. Everything is right there in one package.

No, you can't keep a nose ring. No more getting tattoos. They'll tell you not to have association with outsiders. Any good abusers knows to isolate their victims. People are shunned. I wasn't allowed to go to my own father's funeral because 6 months before that I left the religion, a religion that pressured me to get baptized as a kid and held me to a forever contract with them with my family as ransom.

You are only seeing what they want you to see. You're essentially dating and they're keeping the crazy in the background. Please don't fall for it. Mormons and JWs use similar tactics. Take your time and listen to us. If you don't you may pay hefty prices in your life.

We care. We genuinely care.

340

Calling Cofty and others regarding evolution

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

so i have started down the path of trying to understand evolution, and to get the linear lies that the jws planted in my head out of it.

i bought an audiobook called "evolution: what the fossils say and why it matters" by donald prothero.

i heard it recommended on an atheist podcast that i listened to.

dubstepped

Lol, the creationists derailed my thread with words meaning nothing a long time ago. Do what you want. No worries.

I got answers to my questions, something creationists never provide outside of fluffy words and vague Bible threats.

13

The anonymity of Jehovah's Witness material

by stuckinarut2 in

is it vital for credibility to have the name of the writer of an article referenced?.

does this allow for honesty and accountability?

does this assist in ensuring that whatever is presented is as factual as possible, or not biased in some way toward the religion's ideas?.

dubstepped

As long as they keep their references anonymous, it doesn't matter who they give credit for the drivel, lol.

340

Calling Cofty and others regarding evolution

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

so i have started down the path of trying to understand evolution, and to get the linear lies that the jws planted in my head out of it.

i bought an audiobook called "evolution: what the fossils say and why it matters" by donald prothero.

i heard it recommended on an atheist podcast that i listened to.

dubstepped

@OldNavy - Is there a chance that it is you that have been very cleverly deceived? Who would be the "deceiver"? What % would you give that chance?

83

Leaked 2018 Elders Training Video RE: Elders Reviewing Pionieers

by pale.emperor in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhq5viughny&feature=youtu.be.

quite frankly im disturbed at the lack of love and compassion.

especially for the first sister they talk about!.

dubstepped

Hey, what if "new light" comes forth and the pioneering hour requirements are reduced (again) and sister number one would qualify now? Or what if the Watchtower decides to have a one time annual sale on hours like they do around Memorial season for auxiliary pioneers? I love how they talk about upholding the seriousness of requirements that are subject to be lowered at any time so that they can pump up their numbers. It's all so stupid.

340

Calling Cofty and others regarding evolution

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

so i have started down the path of trying to understand evolution, and to get the linear lies that the jws planted in my head out of it.

i bought an audiobook called "evolution: what the fossils say and why it matters" by donald prothero.

i heard it recommended on an atheist podcast that i listened to.

dubstepped

Chances are that if evolution was disproven then Cofty would accept that and change. Cofty didn't start there, he likely was a staunch creationist but his thinking evol..... um.... he changed his mind with new information. He's shown that ability. You?

83

Leaked 2018 Elders Training Video RE: Elders Reviewing Pionieers

by pale.emperor in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhq5viughny&feature=youtu.be.

quite frankly im disturbed at the lack of love and compassion.

especially for the first sister they talk about!.

dubstepped

@hoser - That's a great observation!