Posts by dubstepped

6

Documentary: History Of The Earth

by pale.emperor in

for those interested in evolution, do yourself a favor and give this a watch.

i learned so much from it:.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57mertelsbc.

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

Actually, his wife has every legal right to teach her kids any culty crap she wants. I was just listening to a podcast (How to Heretic) yesterday and they had a lawyer on and asked him if kids had a right to get away and dictate such matters. Courts even let Amish take kids out of school to live Amish lives on farms and effectively end education. They're your kids, teach them as you wish. Of course, in this case both parents have that right. So dad here is the only hope regarding cult indoctrination.

10

Looking for a link to the truth be told movie

by blownaway in

i see this movie in parts but not the whole thing.

any links?

dubstepped

Yeah, I mean heck, who wants to drop a few bucks to support people putting this message out there. I bet they were stupid enough to put money into their project to get the good word out about JWs. Losers. Don't they know they could have done a better job and for free? Surely you could and I'm sure we'd all be blown away. ;)

29

Are JWs capable of a genuine discussion?

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

i was just pondering whether jws are capable of having a calm, in depth discussion about religious or faith topics?.

i have just finished listening to a great podcast by "dogma debate" (dan) episode 333. this fantastic, in-depth conversation between a theist and an atheist was a masterful example of how a dignified conversation can take place without it resorting to abruptness or even nastiness.. jws on the other hand seem incapable of having such discussion without ending up in the following ways:.

1)they get dogmatic and defensive if a differing view is presented.. 2)if the conversation doesn't go their way, they cut it short saying something like "well, we had better agree to disagree" or the like.. so why the arrogance?

dubstepped

The arrogance and defensiveness is because of ego. These aren't merely beliefs that JWs hold, these beliefs are who JWs ARE. It is their entire identity. It dominates every thought, feeling, and action. So any amount of questioning threatens their very being, their existence. It's too personal for them. They cannot have a genuine discussion because they're too involved in it yet probably don't fully even understand what they believe and deep down they know it. A genuine discussion brings the pain of cognitive dissonance which is too great to bear.

38

Goodbye my friends.

by StephaneLaliberte in

jw
friends

for almost 12 years now, i have been coming to this site on a regular basis and in the last 5, i “faded out”.

i never regretted this and never will.

unfortunately though, yesterday, i realized that, until i can publically tell all my old acquaintances why i have left, i will never be truly free.

dubstepped

I'm sorry, but without a signed letter sent by certified mail we cannot accept this. ;)

Seriously though, do what's right for you. Live your life and be happy, whatever that looks like today and if it should change, do that.

Take care!

33

My younger brother officially Disassociated today

by pale.emperor in

hi guys.

just wanted to share this with you as it's kind of got me worried.

my brother who was also raised in "the truth™" met me in town today for a coffee.

dubstepped

Considering how they drove him to suicide, this sounds like it will be for the best. He may need care but perhaps not the same social contact as you or I?

I'm sure there are organizations that can help, just not Jehovah's.

Ugh, I'm sorry on one hand but I think I'm happy for him on another. He is right in that he notices how toxic they all are and wants to get away.

Oh, and fuck Jehovah's Witnesses. Fuck their threats of removing care. Fuck their toxic conditional love. In the words of Ruckley? in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest "F-f-f-fuck 'em all". This kind of stuff is just evil.

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

dubstepped

I am having some “ self harm” thoughts at times

People that do things like cutting are often doing it for control. They feel so out of control in their lives that they seek it in self harm. It is almost like a form of meditation. They lose themselves in the activity.

You didn't elaborate much but I thought I'd throw that out there. You have to feel incredibly out of control with everything going on right now. It is overwhelming.

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

dubstepped

happiness is based on an internal locus and not and external locus for sure - people are chasing everything to be happy to no avail.

Your are right, and JWs are all about the external. They put off true happiness until the new system. They pick and choose negative things in the world to create unhappiness among member, again external things. They don't teach happiness as an inside game, but rather something to be gained by doing the will of the cult at best. There is where the happiness is supposed to lie, but it never comes.

She is too proud to go to therapy , see faults in herself , but so quick to blame me for her unhappiness all the time.

When I talked about ego earlier, I talked about it in the sense of identity more than of pride. "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle was really good in helping me to address those issues in myself, just in case you're interested. I don't honestly think that pride is the issue as much as identity. Blame is a way to protect the ego, the identity. You are likely right in the humility would help her, but she has put on this religion as her entire identity and probably doesn't know who she is without it. It might be more fear that prevents her from looking at herself with humility than pride.

is she trying to destroy our relationship and blame me or is she that blind to her behavior that she thinks she is doing good.

Be careful not to ascribe too much intent to all of this. She is hijacked by cult programming. She is not herself. The cult moralizes all behaviors but sometimes people behave automatically based on programming. My guess is that she is scared and uses all of those other things like yelling to distract herself from it. Now, whether or not she wakes up in time to save things is another question. I don't personally think many people are just bad people, they're usually hurt. Hurt people hurt people.

You woke up on your time frame. She will have to do the same. For years someone probably could have shown you the truth about the truth and you wouldn't have listened. You have to be ready for it. That doesn't mean that you will still be around when and if she does wake up. Maybe she never will. She has a ton to lose if she does. That's terrifying. Some people are truly truth seekers like yourself. You put the truth first, even willing to lose everything for it. Not everyone is wired that way. For many it is more important to protect what they have and to maintain the comfort of the status quo.

I know this is going to sound weird but I believe it to be right. Ego begets ego. If you go at her being defensive she will be put on the defensive too. I think you may have to win her over by apologizing for putting her in a strange position in the organization, but then letting her know kind of what you said above. You didn't go seeking this out. You wouldn't risk losing everything without good reason.

I couldn't keep my mouth shut about the things I saw in the organization as I started to get healthier. My wife did not like it. She would let me vent but didn't like me doing it. She knew she couldn't stop me, lol. She also knew that I was a good person with a good heart and she trusted me. At one point I finally got her to open up to me. I set her at ease by letting her know that most everyone has some sort of doubts and that if she put hers out there nothing would change. After all, she still has the doubts she has, only now we could talk about it. If she didn't like it, I told her she could always pack up her doubts and put them away and tell me to do the same with mine. That conversation started so much for us. It took time to get her at ease enough to join me in that conversation though. I had to change my tune as well from ranting and upset to humble and sincere.

I hope this helps some. I'm no therapist, just a jackass that grew up in a cult and read a lot of great books and listened to a lot of great podcasts to help readjust my thinking on life, to broaden my horizons, and to challenge my perspectives.

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

dubstepped

Sent you a private message. Still working.

57

What to Do....Please Help. Awakening JW for a very long time

by CovertsadJW in

good afternoon , .

i have been having doubts for many years and as most jw's i have certainly not done myself a favor by suppressing all of my critical thinking.

i am married with 3 kids and my wife and i are inactive, but my wife has made it very clear in speech and action that she wants to go to all meetings, field service, and indoctrinate our kids.

dubstepped

I'm at work and will write more later, but absolutely the pressures of the cult made me unhappy. I ended up suicidal. That was 2008. I disassociated in 2015.