Posts by dubstepped

33

I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....

by dubstepped in

so i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.

i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.

i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.

dubstepped

@Biahi - Sorry you can't make it. I'm trying to get out there and to meet people and give a voice to people that often don't have one.

@Rub a Dub - Sorry to bring out your ptsd regarding citations.

33

I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....

by dubstepped in

so i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.

i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.

i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.

dubstepped

@Simon - Yep, Sarah Haider is one of the organizers of the event. I know Torah Bontrager from the Amish community as I interviewed her on my podcast. Malkie Schwartz from the Jewish community is hosting the particular panel that I'm on. All great ladies.

I tried reaching out to the Muslim community for inclusion on my podcast and couldn't get anyone to speak publicly. Perhaps Sarah or someone in her community will speak on my podcast as well. I'd love to get their voice on too. It's amazing to see the similarities and then where these groups differ.

33

I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....

by dubstepped in

so i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.

i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.

i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.

dubstepped

@waton - Sorry, not crediting the JW speaker training. I'm sure it helped on some level but let's face it, those who could speak naturally did well and those that couldn't didn't fare well. I rarely saw a person that was a terrible speaker flourish due to some magic training of theirs. It just gave those of us with a natural talent the ability to use it. Correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation. I refuse to give them props for something I was just always good at.

Where are you speaking at?

33

I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....

by dubstepped in

so i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.

i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.

i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.

dubstepped

@Simon - Yep, it's the psychology, the beliefs are often just a vehicle to exploit the psychology. It's one reason I've tried to include people from other groups in my podcasts instead of it just being ex-JWs only. I wanted to show how similar we were to these other groups and how the same tools were used against us all. I've been learning about the Exclusive Brethren lately as someone in my group introduced me to them and their groups and it's interesting. I have a few that will likely tell their stories on my podcast and someone from another cult too.

I know that there will be some media interest in the event. As far as it being recorded I'm going to do what I can to record some of it. I'm going to try to make a podcast out of it, maybe a video with some highlights. It won't be easy as my camera only lasts so long and it's a day long thing. I don't know if they have anyone recording the whole thing. There was a call for people like podcasters to cover it. I just bought a little recorder that supposedly lasts 20 hours once charged and I'm going to try to get audio from the day and do something with it and some video. We'll see how it all turns out.

I'm doing a live stream with ICSA the following weekend, I believe, as part of a project to help therapists help those that leave. I'll share that here once I get the details sorted. Some may find it interesting.

33

I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....

by dubstepped in

so i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.

i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.

i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.

dubstepped

Thanks! I think I have about 15 people so far. Most are exjw but one is ex-ultra orthodox Jewish and one person is from a cult in South Africa. She was on the podcast and I can't remember the name as it was in another language.

Should be a good time. The panel I'm on at the conference has a person from Quiverfull, Islam, and Catholicism on it as well. Many groups will be represented there.

33

I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....

by dubstepped in

so i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.

i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.

i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.

dubstepped

So I'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "When Rights and Religions Collide" event next Saturday, October 19. If you'd like to attend you can learn more here:

https://rightsandreligions.com/

I'm also going to host a meetup on Sunday if any of you are in the NYC area. I'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the Shunned podcast or that are in my Facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon. I'm putting reservations together for dinner on Sunday the 20th. Probably going to eat lunch around Prospect Park, then hang out in the park, then have dinner at another place around the park. People can come for as much or as little as they like.

It would be cool to meet some of you if you're up that way.

36

1975 and 1981?

by Steel in

is it true that in 1975 the watchtower falsely predicted the end of the world and a great number of the membership quit and just a few years later they turned disassociation into disfellowshipping?

.

dubstepped

Wasn't 1981 when Ray Franz left. I thought that's when they made disassociating a shunnable offense to keep people away from him. Or am I getting dates mixed up. I'm terrible with timeliness at times. I wasn't there for it anyway.

17

Serious question!

by ZindagiNaMilegiDobaara in

jw
friends

how would you answer:.

how can you change or improve an individuals dominant mental attitude?.

zing.

dubstepped

You can't. They would have to.

13

Self Limiting Beliefs

by abishephard in

left the jw’s as a teenager; as with most exjws i have struggled throughout the years with being a successful adult.

i have recently starting addressing some of the psychological trauma of my childhood, and i wonder if anyone else here can identify with any of these self limiting beliefs:.

- pursuit of wealth is bad (i.e.

dubstepped

Yes, these issues are common. There's also a lot of "learned helplessness", a form of denial where many wait for something to magically fix their lives like the paradise was supposed to. I just made a post about it in my Facebook group that I'll share since you seem to be interested in the subject. I got certified as a life coach and I help a number of ex-JWs to work through their "stuff" and host recovery groups (recovering from the cult, not substance abuse) twice a week. So I come up against a lot of the issues that former cult members face, and here's my post:

An illustration we used to be given as JWs was this (brought up by Kevin McFree's video). There are two families and each lives in a house with a leaky roof. The one family is miserable. The other family is happy. Why? The happy family knows that soon they will move into a new home. So they're happy to wait until that time, knowing that they will eventually be happy.

That really summarizes what my parents did. My dad lived a life of denial, and honestly my mom did too. Neither would take a stand or do anything to really change their lives. They let life happen to them, they never really went for anything they wanted. It was a life spent with a leaky roof (we literally had ceilings that would bubble when it rained and pots everywhere), and nobody was going to do anything.

In psychology that's often referred to as "learned helplessness".

I don't know why, maybe it was my frustration with watching my parents, but I never believed that I couldn't do something or get something if I didn't want it bad enough. Eventually in 2008 after being suicidal I wanted so badly to be happy and I took steps to get mentally and emotionally healthy so I could be happy. I literally studied happiness, among many other things.

My life isn't some fairy tale now but I'm happy. I got there, and if you're not there, you can get there in time. But you have to do something. You can't wait for someone to bring you happiness. There's no magic paradise coming for you, you might not even have tomorrow. That's a sobering reality.

I remember learning in Spanish class the word manana. That it meant tomorrow but was often used as a way of putting things off indefinitely. Don't put your happiness off indefinitely. You deserve happiness like anyone else. Jehovah's Witnesses or whatever cult you lived in took it from you and then made you feel powerless to have it apart from them. It was all a lie. You can be happy. You just have to do something to get there. Nobody else can make you happy, it's an inside game. So please don't buy the lie that something better will magically come your way someday without effort and that it will bring happiness with it while you sit in misery. Take action, reach out, find something better.

37

My "shameless" relationship with my ex wife

by Jayk in

i've thought about keeping this to myself but i'm still confused on what i should do.. my ex wife(never been a jw) and myself(raised in the org till 16)have been reconnecting these past few weeks.

we been divorced for almost 10 years, we got married when we where pretty young, and it didnt last long.. fast forward 10 years, her and i have been reconnecting and things are getting semi serious.. she got remarried, divorced again, and recently broke up with her gf.

so in the past 10 years she has only been with 3 people (including myself) and here comes me "a sucker with no self esteem".

dubstepped

You have issues but they don't impact relationships. Hers, on the other hand, probably do. Did you hear that she takes Zoloft?!!! Nah man, you're all good. No therapy needed. After all, you've told us you're logical.

I don't take issue with you asking people on a forum. That's what forums are for. But you're also not listening to what people are telling you and are deflecting it toward her while singing your own praises. You understand everyone's needs, you've got it all under control, but she on the other hand....