I actually work with people as a life coach and help ex-JWs and others work on various things in their lives. I like to focus on the stories we lived and processing those, the stories we tell ourselves from those past experiences that inform our present circumstances, and then once we see where we are and how we got there it's a matter of figuring out the story we want to live. One thing I like to do is to create awareness. There are a lot of patterns we play out from our cult upbringing along with our family that we end up repeating. If those can be identified and we can start to recognize them and not give them our energy, we have energy to put into more productive and forward thinking steps. I'm actually working with the International Cultic Studies Association on a program to help therapists be more effective in working with survivors of cults.
I provide my services online through video chats. If a person is looking for a therapist near them that isn't trained or doesn't have the experience to work with people from cults, sometimes a therapist that specializes in domestic violence can be of help. Many of the same patterns of control and dominance exerted in a domestic violence situation are seen in cults.
One thing to remember with therapy or coaching is that you are hiring this person to help you. It isn't always a good fit from the start and if you don't feel comfortable telling the person just about anything, including that it's not working out, then maybe it's not the right fit. I want the people I'm working with to be empowered and tell me whatever they need to. My goal isn't to make them dependent on me anyway, but to help them move on. I often wonder why people have the same therapist for a decade or more. It makes me think that not much progress is being made. Sometimes it is needed, I'm sure, for complex diagnoses and people that may never be able to do more than manage a severe illness, but at other times it just doesn't seem like an effective modality or relationship.
dubstepped
JoinedPosts by dubstepped
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What can a therapist really do?
by Thetruthhurts inhi all, i've not read the forums for awhile as i've been trying to move on with my life but i'm back and posting for the first time feeling like i cant get a grip.
so i'm wondering for those of you that have seen a therapist and say that it truly helps, what can be accomplished?
i'm just really skeptical, but starting to feel desperate.
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dubstepped
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My Dissociation Letter (audio)
by Antonio_Madaleno inyou can listen here:.
https://youtu.be/ofmsypm50n8.
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dubstepped
Good for you Antonio! We disassociated just over four years ago. Best decision we ever made.
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
@Rayo - I wish I could give a full presentation like that again. Originally I was going to be one of the primary speakers at this but they were inundated with people with more academic credentials than I for solo parts so I was put on a panel. Ultimately it's an academic conference. I'm just happy to get to represent Jehovah's Witnesses in with the others and to speak in any form or fashion at Columbia is an honor.
My wife is going to video the panel however possible. I purchased a small audio recorder that should have enough juice to last the whole thing and I'm going to record as much as it will allow me. I may not have video of everything but hopefully I can have audio. We'll see how it does. -
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Escaping a Christian Cult Podcast
by iwantoutnow inhello all.. i implore you to the time out and listen to this podcast where sam harris interviews the granddaughter of the founder of the westboro baptist church, about her experience there and leaving.
megan phelps-roper.. the parallels to the jw world are astounding!.
https://samharris.org/podcasts/171-escaping-christian-cult/.
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dubstepped
Yeah, she was great on Rogan's show. I enjoyed that one.
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
Thanks guys. There will definitely be something recorded. I'll see what I can make of it all when I get back. I'll share it here when I get it ready.
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
@Biahi - Sorry you can't make it. I'm trying to get out there and to meet people and give a voice to people that often don't have one.
@Rub a Dub - Sorry to bring out your ptsd regarding citations. -
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
@Simon - Yep, Sarah Haider is one of the organizers of the event. I know Torah Bontrager from the Amish community as I interviewed her on my podcast. Malkie Schwartz from the Jewish community is hosting the particular panel that I'm on. All great ladies.
I tried reaching out to the Muslim community for inclusion on my podcast and couldn't get anyone to speak publicly. Perhaps Sarah or someone in her community will speak on my podcast as well. I'd love to get their voice on too. It's amazing to see the similarities and then where these groups differ.
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
@waton - Sorry, not crediting the JW speaker training. I'm sure it helped on some level but let's face it, those who could speak naturally did well and those that couldn't didn't fare well. I rarely saw a person that was a terrible speaker flourish due to some magic training of theirs. It just gave those of us with a natural talent the ability to use it. Correlation doesn't necessarily equal causation. I refuse to give them props for something I was just always good at.
Where are you speaking at? -
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
@Simon - Yep, it's the psychology, the beliefs are often just a vehicle to exploit the psychology. It's one reason I've tried to include people from other groups in my podcasts instead of it just being ex-JWs only. I wanted to show how similar we were to these other groups and how the same tools were used against us all. I've been learning about the Exclusive Brethren lately as someone in my group introduced me to them and their groups and it's interesting. I have a few that will likely tell their stories on my podcast and someone from another cult too.
I know that there will be some media interest in the event. As far as it being recorded I'm going to do what I can to record some of it. I'm going to try to make a podcast out of it, maybe a video with some highlights. It won't be easy as my camera only lasts so long and it's a day long thing. I don't know if they have anyone recording the whole thing. There was a call for people like podcasters to cover it. I just bought a little recorder that supposedly lasts 20 hours once charged and I'm going to try to get audio from the day and do something with it and some video. We'll see how it all turns out.
I'm doing a live stream with ICSA the following weekend, I believe, as part of a project to help therapists help those that leave. I'll share that here once I get the details sorted. Some may find it interesting. -
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I'll be speaking at Columbia University next weekend, meetup to follow....
by dubstepped inso i'll be speaking on a panel as part of the "when rights and religions collide" event next saturday, october 19. if you'd like to attend you can learn more here:https://rightsandreligions.com/.
i'm also going to host a meetup on sunday if any of you are in the nyc area.
i'm still putting the finishing touches on the details but if you'd like to join in and meet myself, my wife, and a few people that listen to the shunned podcast or that are in my facebook group called by the same name shoot me a private message soon.
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dubstepped
Thanks! I think I have about 15 people so far. Most are exjw but one is ex-ultra orthodox Jewish and one person is from a cult in South Africa. She was on the podcast and I can't remember the name as it was in another language.
Should be a good time. The panel I'm on at the conference has a person from Quiverfull, Islam, and Catholicism on it as well. Many groups will be represented there.