I was able to chat with several people last Wednesday night under my husband's username feb1600. I had such an enjoyable time that I thought I should come here and introduce myself.
My experiences with the JWs are fairly short. I've been familiar with the teachings since I met my husband in 1994, shortly after High School graduation. I started studying with two sisters that August. I was really trying to impress my husband and was real zealous in my study. I attended every meeting, did everything they said and really urged my husband (still boyfriend back then) to get more serious about the "truth". I met his family at a witness wedding that November. It was my very first time that I felt strange for being an "outsider". Being around all the JWs from hubby's congregation I was surprised that I wasn't welcomed with open arms. Here I was, doing all I could to prove myself worthy and they did not approve of me. I found out later that his congregation had many other girls in mind for him, one's that were "worthy". Husband was a pioneer and considered a good "catch". Husband started getting sick shortly after I was introduced to the mob of unaccepting relatives and family friend.
In '95 Husband was diagnosed with Kidney disease. I was doing all I could to encourage him, thankfully to no good! I continued studying my Sophomore year while husband went through stages of fading away from meetings.
Husband moved to live with me in '97. I had stopped studying after seeing the terrible reaction from his family. They were so mean! We planned our wedding and were married in '98. I'm leaving alot of icky things out here. The experiences we've had with his family are hurtful and confusing to this day. I fear that my emotions and feelings would get in the way.
Ten months after we were married, our son was born. He is a beautiful boy that brightened our life beyond anything else. Husband's family was kind to his birth, and actually started to show some signs of kindness during this time. Unfortunately, kidney failure reared it's ugly head and husband had to go on dialysis and the national organ waiting list. I was out of the hospital at the time he was rushed down to the dialysis unit and mother-in-law and sister-in-law were there at the time. Husband required blood and accepted. Mother-in-law had to be banned from the hospital wing, they actually set up security to keep her out! I was allowed in when I returned and found out what happened. Of all the icky stories I have to tell, this one is crutial to understand what happened next. The in-laws high tailed it home as fast as they could. Their unapproving noses in the air as they went.
Husband needed an organ and my family started to get tested. Husband's only brother also got tested. We found out that both his brother and my mother were possible donors. In December the first transplant was scheduled. Unfortunately, his brother had a medical condition and the transplant had to be canceled. My heart just ached. He, my brother-in-law, was devastated. Luckily, my mother was accepted and a successful transplant occured on February 16, 2000.
During our time of need his family (besides his brother and maternal grandparents) was nothing but judgemental, rude, distant and cruel. During the transplant they stayed in a separate waiting room. They had brought my nephew even though they knew that he couldn't be in the transplant unit. That was their excuse for not visiting the unit. They visited my mother, the donor that saved thier son's life, only once.
During the healing process I had a falling out of sorts with many things. I found out, while my mother was having complications with the donation surgery, that my father-in-law had been a candidate for a donation. He claimed that he was just waiting to see if brother-in-law was going to donate. Well, we had been very clear that if brother-in-law was unable to donate, my mother was the next in line of donors. You'd think if he knew he was a match he would have told us. Medically, he was a better match than my mother and while the transplant turned out successful, overall a blood relative would have been better. When I found out that he didn't step forward to donate I was livid. I'm calmer about it now. But at the time, YIKES. I was not a calm person. While everyone has to make thier own choice about donation, I felt that he, of all people, should have been the first in line to donate. This has caused a serious problem between me and them. I have forgiven them for the painful things they've done, but boy, they just keep doing them.
I must end my vent now, boy that feels good. I'm hoping that this place will be very healing for the both of us. My dear husband has so many more issues with everything.
Thank you for listening
Sara
