Fleur

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Posts by Fleur

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  4

  going to see my "worldly" boyfriend

  by Suzie in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  so, in a week or so, i will be traveling to visit my worldly boyfriend.

  i am very scared, and nervous.

  i have a fear of flying and all, but there is more to it... he is very sick with cancer.

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  Fleur

  Oh man, Suzy. What a kind heart you are.

  Dear one, please don't be so hard on yourself. As someone who as a young (you sound young!) Jw girl walked in the heavy, unforgiving shoes of guilt for years over things that I now laugh about because in the grand scheme of the universe, they didn't matter at all and hurt no one. The only thing that hurt was the torture that I put myself through for believing that God would punish me for every single thing I did.

  It sounds like your boyfriend is lucky to have you. I will hope good things for you both.

  It may seem like a big, huge, scary "world" out there right now. But you'll find that gradually, you come to understand that the cruelest, scariest "World of all is the 'loving arms' of "Jehovahs' organization" and the "loving brotherhood."

  travel safely and please let us know how he's doing when you can. I will be thinking of you, honey.

  hugs,

  essie
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  33

  Meeting Clothes

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i absolutely hated the concept of "meeting clothes".

  all my meeting clothes were hand-me-downs from other brothers.

  i always hated getting hand-me-downs from the fat jw kids who were older than me.

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  Fleur

  Oh, nylons! There's a term for you. In fact I actually bought the first pair I've worn in a couple years this week (due to the circumstances of the weekend, per my thread in the private forum) and I can't imagine putting them on. They make my physical pain more intense, squeezing everything the way they do. I know the moment we get out I'll be tearing them off in the car!
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  33

  Meeting Clothes

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i absolutely hated the concept of "meeting clothes".

  all my meeting clothes were hand-me-downs from other brothers.

  i always hated getting hand-me-downs from the fat jw kids who were older than me.

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  Fleur

  Laura Ingalls, I wish! when I was a teen I saw a bbc made movie of Jane Eyre...and I actually used her as a role model! *thud*

  I think I was trying not to look like a girl. I was getting attention from guys at work that I didn't know how to handle but all the guys at the hall ignored me so I figured, what the hey. I might as well be plain Jane!

  soooooooo embarassing LOL
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  5

  It's a bittersweet time for me

  by Bumble Bee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  sweet because yesterday was my 15th wedding anniversary!!

  we've been through alot in the past 15 years, but it's all been worth it.

  i love my husband soooooo very much!

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  Fleur

  *hug*

  Congratulations on your anniversary...how thoughtful of your husband to remember the date like that. Cherish him, and all the good memories that you have of your dad...

  *another hug*

  essie
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  40

  New here on board..

  by tweetybird193 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  !st.

  i cant get this red to change on here.

  im glad to be here.

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  Fleur

  Welcome, Tweetie. Wacktower, that's one I hadn't heard before, it got a laugh out of me. Will have to stick that into my apostate vernacular LOL

  I'm glad you're out...and glad you're here.

  hugs

  essie
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  30

  Do you believe in negative energy?

  by xjwms in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  all of you people are the best, ... because you always have the right answers fast....... last week i had that run in with bro & sis pioneer...and they really beat me up, .

  this week a brother called me, with a stupid tax question that i know he had the answer to.

  he had not seen me since last year at the memorial...and said...."are you fatter since i seen you?".

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  Fleur

  Anyone who doubts the existence of negative energy should spend two minutes alone in a room with my mother. I'm just saying.

  Sending you warm and happy thoughts, xjwms.

  hugs

  essie
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  21

  Do you look better or worse

  by pratt1 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the other day i was looking at some old photos of my wife as a young witless teen.

  several of the pictures were taking at assemblies and gatherings/weddings.. what amazed me is that she looks better today than she did as a witless teen or early twenties.

  i don't mean just the expression on her face, but also the way she was dressed.

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  Fleur

  The biggest change in me is in my eyes, I'm told. One of my sisters (who has drifted away from the org but never formally left) told me that it was amazing when she saw this picture of me from after I first left and was beginning my new life...she said "Look at your eyes in this picture, they're smiling. Somebody is definitely home in there." I looked at older pictures and was shocked how dead my eyes were, even if my lips were 'smiling'.

  A lot of my relatives have that scary look in pictures that that Runaway Bride chick did when they showed her pictures in the news. Scary, scary stuff.

  essie

  ~glad to be 'home' in my own head now, and it shows!

  p.s. I think that is the most unsettling thing for JW's I've run into since my departure...I think they expect me to look like a crack w**re. When they see me looking healthy and *gasp* happy, it rattles them to the core. Because I've been out so long, and they all expected that I'd have "gone back by now"...
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  33

  Meeting Clothes

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i absolutely hated the concept of "meeting clothes".

  all my meeting clothes were hand-me-downs from other brothers.

  i always hated getting hand-me-downs from the fat jw kids who were older than me.

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  Fleur

  dearest Scully, they definitely could've gotten me badly on that show. I look back and look at the HUGE glasses, ankle length skirts, huge blousy blouses...egad. Not a pretty picture at all. I am amazed anybody ever figured out there was a woman under all that polyester.

  hugs

  essie
• 
  33

  Meeting Clothes

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i absolutely hated the concept of "meeting clothes".

  all my meeting clothes were hand-me-downs from other brothers.

  i always hated getting hand-me-downs from the fat jw kids who were older than me.

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  Fleur

  You know, Nos, this is a subject I've thought a lot about in the past week or so when cleaning out closets.

  I look at pictures of me now from that time and I can't believe it. Anything I wore, I could've easily loaned to my grandma, or borrowed from her closet. I remember wanting to own a leather jacket so bad but being told they weren't theocratic.

  I'm so glad now that I can wear whatever the hell I want. What a joke, as if the 'prim' and proper clothing really means that JW's are so pure.

  glad to have left it all behind...

  hugs

  essie
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  36

  So, I'm gonna be a daddy!

  by Nosferatu in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those of you who read my continuing series about a girl i dated, i mentioned at the end of it that i'm gonna be a daddy!

  i'm so excited!.

  the wife is on week 8.. i'm trying to figure out how my parents, especially my father is going to take the news when i finally tell them.

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  Fleur

  What's really cool is this child isn't going to be growing up weird. He/she is going to have Christmas, birthdays, and won't have to stand out in the hallway for O Canada. My child isn't going to be an outcast.

  That brought tears to my eyes, Nos. Nothing fills me with hope for the future more than the thought of a next generation that will be free of the bs that we lived through and barely survived leaving.

  And I'm so happy to know that my child will be, alongside yours, a citizen of this brave new world :) and not the new world they tried to sell us either...

  hugs and congrats!!!!

  essie