Yes.................I for one would like to be happy and positive for the rest of my life.........and live happily everafter.... But why does that SIMPLE request keep evading me? (and these feelings have nothing to do with being an xjw)
I try very hard to find it.........but after a while.......it goes away............JUST WHAT IS HAPPINESS AND WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE THINK HAPPINESS IS?
You do everything you think is right and good.... but in the end.......things don't work out. WHY?
I'm not giving up on anything....but I am really down on life at this time. Right now.....I don't give a shit about anything! My best friend is in the hospital with very serious pneumoia and it pisses me off why he is there. He has a wonderful wife and family. He is 58 and with his emphazima.......is on oxigen 24/7...........and still smokes almost 2 packs a day.........his lungs can't handle ordinary breathing..........just like my mother was when she died in 1998. WTF?
I'm sooooooooo deep in love with a woman after many years of being alone.............but there is a 300 mile distance between us...............I'M SO DAMNED TIRED OF BEING ALONE......(even with the friends that I have here) LONLINESS SUCKS BIGTIME.
I was really thinking about OFFICALLY proposing to her at XMAS........but I am so afraid of rejection. I don't think she really wants to get married! WHY am I having feelings like this?
For God's sake........I'm 57 years old........not 17. I shouldn't be having feeling like this ..........should I?
unHappyDad (of the having a pity party class)