This is a great topic and has brought back some somewhat "good" memories when I was an elder and trying to do right.
My daughter says I was a good elder and most of the teenagers liked me along with the rest of the congregation. She says that what xjw said about her dad also applies to me. Makes me feel good that I tried to do the right thing.
Steve. Your words remind me a lot of my dad. He too wrestled with his emotions, and also garnered a reputation as being a caring, compassionate person. This often led to disagreements with fellow elders, especially with regards to JCs, and run ins with COs and DOs
I never had a run in with the CO's and DO's though. I never liked them because whenever they would come around, they really didn't care what peoples problems were. They just wanted the cong. to keep the status quo.
Like you Steve.........I'm glad I saw the light and am now free and happy.
HappyDad