I had doubts for years but when my wife died in 1996 I bought my first computer a month later. Started searching the internet about JW's and even those first stories I read about other JW's being wronged and the lack of love in the org. connected with me. Bought Crisis of Conscience in 1997 or 1998 and became numb. I didn't know what to think. By this time I started missing meetings and then gave the book to my daughter and told her about all the other things I saw on the internet. I then bought her a computer because she was now separated from the lazy, didn't want to work JW she was married to and then filed for divorce. Even though I was mostly mentally out, I still attended the occasional meeting and every once in a while has guilt feelings and would try to convince myself that it was the truth and Satan was trying his best to discourage everyone. When 911 happened I went back for awhile but it didn't last. I knew in my heart that it was all a sham. I'm happy to say that my daughter was about a year ahead of me knowing it was all BS.
The last time a went to any meeting was memorial of 2003. I don't miss anything about it or the people I knew and have a great life now. My senior years are happy ones since I have a decent pension despite some who said years ago that I should change jobs so that I could devote more time to the ministry. Yeah.....right!
I'm also glad that I wasn't born in. My mother was a JW since 1961 and introduced me to my wife to be. I married her before I was baptized and sometimes I wonder if I bought into it for her.
HappyDad