Terry

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Posts by Terry

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  12

  Watchtower Greek where the mumbo meets the jumbo

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  take a look at this photo of a now long extinct publication!ain't she a beauty?.

  around 1976 i got the wild idea i'd like to learn greek.

  gosh - just look at the gorgeous purple book up there!

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• 

  Terry

  I think each of us separately has that electric moment when it finally hits us -
  all our deep-seated belief is based on something illusory - not at all provable.
  An amazing feeling.
  A rug pull.
• 
  2

  She was too young to be dating - but my crush was on her ...mother

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  staring into an empty teacup.

  my last memory of her could be carbon dated to 55 years ago.

  julie smith and i were jehovah’s witnesses back then.... julie was a startling beauty.

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  Terry

  I appreciate the kind words.
  Cheers!
• 
  2

  She was too young to be dating - but my crush was on her ...mother

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  staring into an empty teacup.

  my last memory of her could be carbon dated to 55 years ago.

  julie smith and i were jehovah’s witnesses back then.... julie was a startling beauty.

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• 

  Terry

  STARING INTO AN EMPTY TEACUP
  
  

  My last memory of her could be Carbon Dated to 55 years ago. Julie Smith and I were Jehovah’s Witnesses back then...

  Julie was a startling beauty. She was a blue-eyed, natural blonde; a model, guitar player, a singer with glowing purity of tone, a talented writer and possessed of a wicked sense of humor.

  She was too young to be dating and yet she was a natural flirt. She had a big crush.
  I too had a crush-.-on her mother! Don’t worry, it was all innocent. (Damn it.)
  _________

  In our phone conversations, she cautioned me--prepared me in advance she had been felled by an affliction or two and would not look the same.

  On the phone, it was as though mere days had passed since our last encounter in the Jurassic era of our lives--so vivid and bright was that ravishing humor and personality I felt no necessity of bracing myself.

  Now, here I am standing outside her apartment.
  Finally, the door opens...slowly…

  There before my wondering eyes stood this little old lady bent double; pushing a walker, covered with Band-aids and strenuously achieving each step forward.
  I hope I did not gasp.
  _____

  I entered her apartment and sat down among her souvenirs, cats, and memorabilia.
  
  She stood slightly bent forward on the other side of her latticed door still applying makeup and chatting away like the 15-year-old prodigy she once was.

  You know how you can walk out of a darkened room into full sunlight and feel suddenly invigorated? Julie’s life had been the opposite. She’d taken a path from glittering summer solstice to a catacomb of darkest winter.

  I followed behind this living ghost, a cherished person as indispensable to my development as an artist and young man.
  As old friends must always catch up capturing the bits missing in each other’s recollections.
  Missing pieces.
  Tiny editorial emendations.
  A wisp of who we had once thought we were.
  ______
  
  

  Julie performed nobly as the tour guide.
  We sat for tea in fine China cups as old Friends poured into the cup of memories.
  We sipped, savored, and sighed.
  
  
  

  
  Julie's cell phone b-r-r-r-r-ring now and again.
  I easily overheard a loud, an abrasive male voice. Each new phone call: the same voice--interrupting, demanding an accounting of this very visit, insistent and irrepressible.
  She was embarrassed and explained.
  It was her man friend--not at all happy that another male had set foot in "his" domain.
  
  She mildly reassured and scolded him alternately, then, disengaged and apologized. Every man in her life for as long as she could recall......had been controlling....possessive....and rude.
  Even now.
  I think she relaxed and plunged in because she needed to say what she said to somebody who had once known her before...BEFORE the long, slow, slide into the abyss.
  ______
  Julie and I were Jehovah’s Witnesses back then. She had been ‘born in.’
  I, on the other hand, had been what I like to say was “a boiled frog” cooked so gradually I never realized I was done till I was served up on a platter.

  As she spoke, sealed doors and nailed windows creaked open on her life as it was. Bit by bit, I learned things I wouldn’t have dreamed--what really went on in her family. Those people I thought I knew had a rotten side no matter how lovely, self-possessed or spiritual they appeared. Julie had run away from all that by the time she was 18.

  She set off out of Texas into Los Angeles, from the Jehovah’s Witness ‘frying pan’ to the Scientology ‘fire.’
  That's cult mentality.
  The abused mind is drawn to the familiar.
  If you are raised around bullshit you develop a taste for it no matter what color plate on which the meal is served.
  Julie had ended up pregnant and forced (Scientology’s policy) to abort if she wanted to remain ‘on staff’ as an Auditor. She hung in until she crashed and moved back to Ft. Worth, Texas.

  Somehow, she pulled it together long enough to start a modeling career. In no time at all she met and married a man with money who built things for a living. There was money--lots of it--and cocaine. She burned through a lot of both. Her candle was burning at both ends. The addiction and her temperament collided and the balance of her mind was ‘disturbed.’

  She injured her spine and the severity of the damage required an internal steel brace. As she was recuperating, she fell and twisted. The operation had cost a Queen's ransom. Pain and misery ended the marriage. The divorce settlement was enough for her to possess a beautiful home, property, assets to last a lifetime. Right?

  Wrong. The money went up her nose.
  Her back problem couldn’t be addressed without a small fortune. That was gone.
  So great was her legendary beauty, there were still men who came and went--each time breaking of a part of her and leaving with assets.
  You see where it’s going--I know I did.
  She lost her home and property and friends, one awful decision at a time.
  She turned to her mother--her old ‘competitor-in-chief’ for money and pity, but soon exhausted what little remained.

  See what a bright and wonderful reunion we had?

  It was my turn.
  I was disabused of any thought at all that MY life had been anything but lollipops and sparkling Unicorns by then. I recited a few of my standard Hollywood stories and divorces and crowed about my seven children.

  Finally, those two old people in the room found themselves staring into an empty teacup wondering where it all had gone.

  We sat in silence for a long minute or two...just ‘being.’
  ______
  Eventually, with our visitation at an end, we vowed to stay in touch and regather some of the old gang and have a proper reunion. I headed toward the door and she tried to follow as best she could to see me out. We hugged and I peered at her tear-brimmed blue eyes and caught a glimpse of a soul drowning in pain.

  "So very nice to see you--let's do this again soon..."
• 
  9

  Step 1 : Steal a cadaver (Check!)

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  step 1. steal a cadaver (check!).

  i live in fort worth.

  fortunately, he preceded me by half a century!.

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• 

  Terry

  I love old woodcut images ...

  
  
• 
  6

  Grant Us Peace

  by Terry in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  grant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.

  the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.

  )his mouth opened.

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  Terry

  I just heard the word "numinous" used in a conversation for maybe the first time in ten years. I had to smile.
• 
  6

  SOUP HERB (A memory from 1980)

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  (culver city, california 1980).

  the tiny diner was empty - and it was a minute past noon!.

  i walked into the little shop chuckling to myself, that name!

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  Terry

  
  
• 
  10

  The Secret of Life

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my elementary school teacher, miss allen, gathered us in a circle just outside the classroom under overspreading limbs of a pecan tree.

  as she spoke, we all listened intently - the expression on her face seemed to say, "this is very important.".

  "sometimes life doesn't go so well and we feel afraid.

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• 

  Terry

  I miss simple explanations wrapped in accessible songs and stories.
  We live in a time of phony experts, gurus, talking heads, fake news,
  faker fact-checkers, propagandists, and - well - who isn't??
  
  THANKS to all for the kind reception.
  I've searched the internet to try and track down what happened to old elementary school chums and it almost always is heart-breaking.
  
  I guess I'd rather cling to the fond remembrance rather than the upshot.
  
  As the aged Sean Connery said in a speech to an AFI award audience of industry big-shots:
  
  "If Life is like a Play, as Shakespeare said - then all I've got to say
  is: the 3rd act is SHIT."
• 
  12

  Watchtower Greek where the mumbo meets the jumbo

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  take a look at this photo of a now long extinct publication!ain't she a beauty?.

  around 1976 i got the wild idea i'd like to learn greek.

  gosh - just look at the gorgeous purple book up there!

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Terry

  
  
  Take a look at this photo of a now long extinct publication!
  Ain't she a beauty?
  
  

  Around 1976 I got the wild idea I'd like to learn Greek.
  WHY?
  Gosh - just look at the gorgeous purple book up there!
  Actually - there was a reason for my study of the Christian Greek language.
  Think about it.
  This religious group has resorted to toying with the "original meaning" ploy over and over again.
  
  Pastor Russell (at the urging of a reader named Keith) browsed his Emphatic Diaglott for (PAROUSIA) in regard to the language of the "original meaning" of Jesus 2nd "coming" and Russell just fell in love with an alternate meaning: "Arrival or presence."
  
  A flimsy foundation for cult interpretation had been born.
  
  BINGO!
  
  I was actually wrestling with BELIEF in the JW structure and theology as a crisis of Faith at the time.
  I was doing the infamous private research thingy.
  
  Well, this story I'm about to tell has very little to do with the seriousness of that particular motive.
  Nope.
  The purple book proved - in the long run - to be quite disastrous for Jehovah's Witnesses as we all now know.
  A comparison of the literal words side by side with the WATCHTOWER words was a Before and After comparison that exploded the myth of "Truth".
  
  This little essay is more about how bored I was with the whole project and how I turned it into a way of showing off.
  
  ________________

  
  

  It's really easy to learn the Greek Alphabet rather quickly after I started reading the purple INTERLINEAR (English/Greek) Bible aloud.
  
  I set to practicing my enunciation. I'm a NERD, you must realize. Showing off a huge vocabulary is a Nerd idea of being admirable.
  (Big joke as it turns out).

  
  

  Who do I think I was kidding? Myself, I guess.

  I could actually read the text (without a clue in the world what I was saying, of course.) I can still do this. It means nothing - but it sounds impressive.

  
  

  I was eager to show off my profound linguistic mastery of Greek.

  
  

  Where else to begin than the local Greek Restaurant in Redondo Beach, California where I lived at the time with my Jehovah's Witness wife and three small kids.

  
  

  I had memorized The Lord's Prayer in Greek straight out of The Kingdom Interlinear Bible.
  
  I know what you're thinking:
  "What kind of nut does this?" I told you: I am a Nerd.
  I memorized the digits of Pi to 50 decimal places and the entire Rime of the Ancient Mariner to show off in the 8th grade.
  
  So many years later, I was 29 years old in 1976 and still up to my old tricks. My Plan?

  I'd try and gain an audience of 2 Greek restaurant owners, Basil and Nicos. The opinion of experts would be a feather in my imaginary cap.
  

  
  

  Conversationally I dropped a hint here and there I was a student (self-taught) of Greek.
  
  Suddenly, Nicos was profoundly attentive!

  
  

  He called his brother over. Apparently Greeks take their language VERY SERIOUSLY - with extraordinary emotional pride!

  
  

  These guys really wanted to hear my recitation.

  Gulp.

  
  

  Filled, as I was, with enormous confidence and a bit of swagger, I began reciting phonetically but conversationally - the Our Father prayer ....

  (Mind you - I had never HEARD Greek being spoken - I'd only read the dictionary pronunciation guides.)

  
  

  
  

  I imagined I'd sound rather scholarly - if not authentically Greek as a - man- on -the-street of Athens might do in my speechifying.

  
  

  Basil and Nicos listened intently - both slowly nodding ... following closely ... rapt attention all the way through.

  
  

  I finished without a hitch ...awaiting the inevitable applause

  and - likely a FREE MEAL or a vow of brotherhood. Greek citizenship by proxy.

  
  

  Basil looked at Nicos.

  Nicos peered back at Basil. They both stared at me...

  Straightaway, they burst into laughter ...uproarious guffaws

  rollicking belly laughs that just went on

  and on ...

  Big red face on me - and I knew the jig is up.

  Finally, panting for air, Basil shook his head and placed a hairy paw on my shoulder.

  
  

  "You must never do this again!

  No my friend, stick with English.

  If not for Greek's sake - for God's sake!"

  
  

  This pretty much ended my Greek scholarship. My fate paralleled Watchtower's embarrassment, I suppose you could say. They tried to fake it too.

  
  

  EPILOGUE

  
  

  I did manage to find use of my memorized prayer. Now and then, when telephone solicitors and bill collectors catch me with a phone call -- I resort to recitation. I sound - at the very least - like a non-English speaking imbecile. I immediately launch into a recitation of Greek (yes -mangled Greek). "Paw tur ho en tois hooran ois ..."

  
  

  The person on the other end of the phone call will usually sputter and hang up on me.

  
  

  That is solace, I think you'll agree! I get more use out of fake Greek than the Watchtower will. I'm a genuine idiot and they are merely phony ones.
• 
  10

  The Secret of Life

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my elementary school teacher, miss allen, gathered us in a circle just outside the classroom under overspreading limbs of a pecan tree.

  as she spoke, we all listened intently - the expression on her face seemed to say, "this is very important.".

  "sometimes life doesn't go so well and we feel afraid.

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  Terry

  Many years later I was listening to NPR radio as I worked and I heard Dr. Wayne Dyer talking about Row Row Row your boat.
  "WH-A-A-A-T?" I said it out loud!
  
  How is this possible?
  Did he know Miss Allen in 1955?
  Everything comes from someplace - right?
  
  I don't know.
  Isaac Newton and Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz both seem to have invented Calculus at the same time - without either knowing what the other was doing!
  
  In a world like that - anything is possible.
• 
  10

  The Secret of Life

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my elementary school teacher, miss allen, gathered us in a circle just outside the classroom under overspreading limbs of a pecan tree.

  as she spoke, we all listened intently - the expression on her face seemed to say, "this is very important.".

  "sometimes life doesn't go so well and we feel afraid.

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• 

  Terry

  THE SECRET (of Life)

  My Elementary School teacher, Miss Allen, gathered us in a circle just outside the classroom under overspreading limbs of a pecan tree. As she spoke, we all listened intently - the expression on her face seemed to say, "This is very important."

  "Sometimes life doesn't go so well and we feel afraid. But we all have a friend who will help us..." she began.

  I was thinking, "Uh oh, here comes Jesus..."
  I was wrong.

  She continued, "Our friend is called the Stream of Time. You know what a stream is - it's not like a river which roars through a canyon like a freight train. A stream moves along without rushing. It is steady and kind."

  I was about 8 years old and I must confess I was listening with great curiosity. This wasn't like anything else I'd heard at school before.

  "You and I and everybody you know - each of us has a little boat we sit in as the stream flows around us. We have our oars and we can paddle or not - it's up to you what you do."

  I thought to myself, "This is wild - has Miss Allen been drinking?"
  She went on with her peculiar advice ...

  "Here now, I'm going to whisper to you all something called
  THE SECRET of LIFE. If you remember it - you can get through anything that happens. Want to hear it?"
  
  She paused as we all bobbed our heads in affirmation.

  "We all know that little song - don't we? ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT?"
  More nods from us.

  "Okay. Here is that secret..."

  Her voice fell to a stage whisper - we, her audience - leaned forward to catch every syllable.

  "The Secret of Life is to Row, Row, Row your boat - but how? GENTLY down the stream. Not too fast, not too slow - but just enough that you put your heart into it and keeping moving..."
  
  

  Pause. Then ...

  "What is our attitude as we pull on our oars with determination? How do we go about our effort? MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY. We aren't sad, or angry, or afraid and never distracted. You can't be merry without hope for what's up ahead. Like those days before Christmas when everything seems to change all around us and we say to each other: MERRY Christmas ..."

  All of us in that little circle were hypnotized. She went on ...

  "What is the cause of our merry row on that gentle stream of time we call Life? The words of the song make it clear: LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!
  And we've all had dreams - and we all understand how unexpected a dream can be - seeming quite real but disappearing with a brand new day of sunshine. So, here we all sit together in our boat this morning and we look around us at each other and think all our days will be simple as this gathering under a pecan tree. But the Stream of Time is moving -- and we are on it - carrying us away. No matter how awful any one particular day may be - the stream always carries us away. NOTHING can stop the Stream of Time and it is always around you in your Merry Dream of life heading toward - what? Nobody knows but for sure - it is away from what is behind."

  And with that - her voice went back to normal volume as she had us stand up and stretch - and time for recess! Never another word about rowboats, or merry tomorrows.

  None of my classmates said a word about it - no questions - no complaints. I was quite moved but didn't know why.

  Many years later I have often pondered Miss Allen's little speech - strange as it was. We weren't inside the classroom - she'd taken us outside. Why? She had whispered - why?

  Did she know something nobody else knew which could really truly help us get through life?

  I think so. I think that little silly song we sang as children does contain the secret of life.
  __________

  Row, row, row your boat
  Gently down the stream
  Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
  Life is but a dream
  
  Row, row, row your boat
  Gently down the stream
  Merrily merrily, merrily, merrily
  Life is but a dream
  
  Row, row, row your boat
  Gently down the stream
  Merrily merrily, merrily,…

  
  

  (repeat and fade)