I appreciate all my friends who stop to read what I write and post. You help me more than you know simply by BEING THERE as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with. I guess if I didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, I could pack it in and join Elon Musk in a colony on Mars.
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Posts by Terry
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28I am now 73 and the road has been filled with wonders
by Terry ini appreciate all my friends who stop to read what i write and post.
you help me more than you know simply by being there as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with.i guess if i didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, i could pack it in and join elon musk in a colony on mars.january 15, 2020. .
which world is this?_________________when the doctor pulled my screaming body out of mom all those 7 decades ago, i landed in a post-wwii world.it was--compared to today's world--an alien planet.the world i live in today has nothing in common with the world in which i grew up.there were no cell phones back then--there were black telephones with a dial-tone and an operator who placed your call.everywhere you found telephone booths!
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Terry
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17
A Song to Jehovah's Praise - rejected!
by Terry inas an obedient little jw at age 20, i was serving time in federal prison in the late 60's, and the 40 brothers inside seagoville prison decided to stage our own assembly.i was the music servant.
(we didn't have elders back then.
)the theme of the assembly mimicked the free world assemblies being held outside.long story short:i composed (what i think and everyone else thought was) a very good song titled:following the fine shepherd as the end draws near.we rehearsed it (bros who had instruments) and the consensus revealed it was a winner._____excerpt:"jehovah god above, we owe you all our love; you are our shepherd and we follow you.though satan demands, that we must compromise; we'd sooner face death than be wrong in your eyes.now and forevermore, we fear not satan's roar;you are our shepherd and we follow you.
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Terry
The song was a symptom.
It was the real world nudging me.
Well, I don't have regrets about the song not being used per se because it wasn't authentic or that
the effort was wasted. I'm annoyed by the memory of the nasty little man in a position of power
who used his position to bully me and hang a lie on the reason for it.
Those of the Ex-JW community who have dealt with double-dealing Elders are at first shocked
and saddened by being treated unfairly. It eventually fests, of course.
You can't win against Elders whether they're straight OR crooked.
The system is rigged merely to CONTROL you.
Seeing all my illusions of the "only true religion" crumble was like watching a home burn to the ground.
You don't just lose the house - it's everything inside as well as the emotional connection of "home."
Being an Ex-JW is becoming a non-entity with a soiled reputation.
People who were supposed to be friends for life suddenly turn on you without a conversation.
Group think. -
6
A Jehovah's Witness matter clearly not understood by a great many members (concerning imprisonment)
by Terry induring the vietnam war (1955 - 1975) young men reaching the age of 18 were required by law to register for the draft within 30 days of that birthday.jehovah's witnesses included.most jw's did not (perhaps never did) understand the situation faced by young brothers in the congregation.the general "understanding" among the rank and file went something like this.1.
jw's serve jehovah as ruler rather than men.
2. we believe "thou shalt not kill."3.
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Terry
The ultimate "price" of being a Jehovah's Witness in good standing is the evaporation
of opportunity.
Meaning what?
When you are young and have your life ahead of you, so many opportunities are there for
education, friends, career, financial stability and building the actual future (rather than the make-believe).
Watchtower religion is Bernie Madoff taking all that and "investing"on your behalf.
All those friends aren't friends.
All those promises are illusory fluff.
I'd love to at least look back and think I was brave but instead I'm like like the guys who fought to take a hill
which was later given back to the enemy by politicians.
I was a sucker and a dupe. Nothing heroic at all.
Seeing 20 years as a stupid investment hurts.
Being a useful idiot is not much of a legacy. -
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A Jehovah's Witness matter clearly not understood by a great many members (concerning imprisonment)
by Terry induring the vietnam war (1955 - 1975) young men reaching the age of 18 were required by law to register for the draft within 30 days of that birthday.jehovah's witnesses included.most jw's did not (perhaps never did) understand the situation faced by young brothers in the congregation.the general "understanding" among the rank and file went something like this.1.
jw's serve jehovah as ruler rather than men.
2. we believe "thou shalt not kill."3.
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Terry
During the Vietnam War (1955 - 1975) young men reaching the age of 18 were required by law to register for the Draft within 30 days of that birthday.
Jehovah's Witnesses included.
Most JW's did NOT (perhaps never did) understand the situation faced by young brothers in the congregation.
The general "understanding" among the rank and file went something like this.
1. JW's serve Jehovah as ruler rather than men.
2. We believe "thou shalt not kill."
3. We are all ministers. We deserve a ministerial deferment.
And so forth.
But wait--there's more!
About 300,000 young men were being drafted EACH YEAR from the general population.
Of 16,000 men convicted of draft resistance during the war (and sentenced to a maximum of five years), 6,000 were rejected Conscientious Objectors, and 3/4 of those were Jehovah's Witnesses.
That's 4,500 Jehovah's Witness boys between 18 and 25.
Got that?
25,000 Conscientious Objectors were assigned to non-combat military duty.
GOT ALL THAT?
Good, let's move on.
___________________________________________________________Hardly any rank and file Jehovah's Witnesses have been exposed to the details of the decision, the actual choice facing young members of the Kingdom Hall congregation in the U.S.
Here are the true facts of the matter.
ANY person drafted into Military Service in the United States was required to do 3 things.
1. Register for the draft immediately upon reaching the age of 18.
2. When notice arrived in the mail, the draftee had to report locally for an Armed Forces Military physical examination.
3. A meeting with a local Draft Board must be scheduled, but only IF A REQUEST of deferment from duty for cause was tendered.
I did all three.
Note #3 above. Before your local Draft Board, the objective for a JW was to convince the board you were an actual minister and NOT JUST a person of conscience. What's the difference?
The person officially recognized as a religious minister of a denomination was automatically granted
a classification if 4-D .
4-D - Ministers of Religion - Exempted from military service.
Otherwise (as in my case) you simply received I-A-O.
My draft card classified me as :
1-A-O -Conscientious Objector - Conscientiously opposed to training and military service requiring the use of arms - fulfills his service obligation in a noncombatant position within the military. Those classified 1-A-O are conscientious objectors available for noncombatant military service.
Legally, all I was required to do was report for non-combat community service!
Ready for the big twist-ending?
My congregations elders (overseers) privately took me aside. I was counseled NOT to ACCEPT
assigned alternate service in a hospital!
I was told it was a "compromise" of my faith.
I was to REFUSE my lawfully assigned alternate service.
So, instead - go to prison to demonstrate Jehovah's Witnesses were not like other false religious organizations.
______
See how different this understanding is of imprisoned brothers?
We weren't AVOIDING going to war. We weren't saving our own ass.
We were never legally required to enter the military since we were classified a non-combatants.
My choices were:
I would never have gone to Vietnam. I would have helped sick people.
This is the "dirty little secret" hidden from most JW's all this time.
I was sternly admonished never to tell any officer of the court or law I HAD BEEN DIRECTED by my religion to do this, saying only "It is a matter of conscientious ; a Bible-based conscience."
Are you surprised?
One more surprise.
There was only ONE EXCEPTION allowed.
IF your Judge "SENTENCED YOU" to hospital work - you COULD accept.
Why?
You were under compulsion - NOT by the Military - but by the Law itself.
Crazy enough for you?
I knew a brother who hired Hayden C. Covington ($10,000) to represent him for jury trial.
(Wealthy family.)
Covington got his sentenced reduced to 2 years instead of 5 as a plea deal.
(It came out later Covington knew all along most JW's only served 2 years till parole anyway.)
My friend asked Covington not to accept such a plea. Covington talked him into it. Hayden C. Covington had been telephoned by Cassius Clay's family (Muhammed Ali) and asked to take the boxer's Draft Evasion case for a million bucks. Covington had to get out my friend's case in a hurry.
Just thought you should know. For the record.
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17
A Song to Jehovah's Praise - rejected!
by Terry inas an obedient little jw at age 20, i was serving time in federal prison in the late 60's, and the 40 brothers inside seagoville prison decided to stage our own assembly.i was the music servant.
(we didn't have elders back then.
)the theme of the assembly mimicked the free world assemblies being held outside.long story short:i composed (what i think and everyone else thought was) a very good song titled:following the fine shepherd as the end draws near.we rehearsed it (bros who had instruments) and the consensus revealed it was a winner._____excerpt:"jehovah god above, we owe you all our love; you are our shepherd and we follow you.though satan demands, that we must compromise; we'd sooner face death than be wrong in your eyes.now and forevermore, we fear not satan's roar;you are our shepherd and we follow you.
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Terry
LongHairGal,
"You also can never know what may have happened if you decided to enlist and did go to Vietnam.."
____
Actually that was NOT the alternative!
Going to Vietnam was never the "other"part of the decision to refuse induction.
Hardly any Jehovah's Witnesses have been exposed to the details of the decision, the actual choice before draft age young men.
Here are the true facts of the matter.
ANY person drafted into Military Service was required to do 3 things.
1. Register for the draft immediately upon reaching the age of 18.
2. When notice arrived in the mail, the draftee had to report locally for an Armed Forces Military physical examination.
3. A meeting with a local Draft Board must be scheduled, but only IF A REQUEST of deferment from duty for cause was tendered.
I did all three.
My draft card which must be carried in public at all times, classified me as :
1-A-O - Conscientious Objector - Conscientiously opposed to training and military service requiring the use of arms - fulfills his service obligation in a noncombatant position within the military. Those classified 1-A-O are conscientious objectors available for noncombatant military service.
You see, LongHairGal?
Legally, all I was required to do was report for non-combat community service!
Ready for the big twist-ending?
My congregations elders (overseers) privately took me aside. I was counseled to NOT ACCEPT
assigned alternate service in a hospital!
I was told it was a "compromise" of my faith.
I was to REFUSE my lawfully assigned alternate service and - instead - go to prison to demonstrate
Jehovah's Witnesses were not like other false religious organizations.
I would never have gone to Vietnam. I would have helped sick people.
This is the "dirty little secret" hidden from most JW's all this time.
I was sternly admonished to never tell any officer of the court or law I HAD BEEN DIRECTED by my religion to do this, saying only "It is a matter of conscientious ; a Bible-based conscience."
Are you surprised?
One more surprise.
There was only ONE EXCEPTION allowed.
IF your Judge "SENTENCED YOU" to hospital work - you COULD accept.
Why?
You were under compulsion - NOT by the Military - but by the Law itself.
Crazy enough for you? -
6
Grant Us Peace
by Terry ingrant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.
the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.
)his mouth opened.
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Terry
stillin18 minutes ago
Numinous is new to me. But I grew up as a Catholic and an altar boy and in the choir. I have had a few of those transcendent moments as a Catholic, but I can't say that I ever had one as a Witness.
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Stillin,
There was a moment as a JW that lasted maybe a full minute while in prison ...
I stepped out of the large Administration building at Seagoville Federal Correctional Institution into the "magic hour" straight light of near sunset.
I had delivered a prisoner request form to Lieutenant Bennett. (The inmates called it a "cop out" form :)Nothing much on my mind.
I looked up squinting at that red glow that catches the low-hanging cirrus clouds and turns them
to blacksmith-hot cherry red.
It hit me.
In my brain, a full-blown NUMINOUS moment arrived like...
Like ....
Tom Jones in person at the amphitheater in Los Angeles years later.
(Women of all ages wet their pants with an astonishing outburst of worship - or *something*)
My heart lept at that sunset and the 100% certainty only a fanatic can experience.
This momentarily persuaded me I was being forged by the blacksmith Jehovah in a kind of prison furnace and shaped for useful purpose.
I was to be something I not yet was - idling at present - yet a work in progress.
I felt (don't laugh) I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING.
Seconds ...mere ticks of a small wristwatch later ...that whole moment vanished. I couldn't get near
recalling the *feeling* itself.
None of that means anything, of course. But - I can say it more or less happened.
So many human beings have felt "the calling" ....
Was it like that? Or just a brain fart ? :)
As things turned out (very badly) I am here to say: nope. -
6
Grant Us Peace
by Terry ingrant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.
the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.
)his mouth opened.
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Terry
Under his arm was a Bible, well-thumbed and comfortable.
His face tipped me off what was up-- I've seen this sort of dreamy glow before.
Hell--I owned it myself when I was twenty.He was telling the barista how much he appreciated her and she nodded, smiling pleasantly.
Was it god shine, moonshine, or the milk of human kindness at play upon the fields of the Lord? Don't know.
He gave no offense--as I waited on him to detach a bit longer than his simple transaction at the register required.
Later, he sat down at a table next to me.
Uh-oh, thought I as his chair bumped mine and off we go...
____He flashed an incredibly compassionate face and his tender words of pardon swept outward and fell upon me as a warm April rain on flowers.
I nodded affably. Silence is golden, you see.
Some half a minute later, he stood and turned round extending his hand for shaking, introducing himself.
"I'm Raj."
"I'm Terry, how do you, Raj?"
"I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your being here today and what a blessing you are to me."
"Many people feel that way about me, Raj and it's very good of you to say so."
"God Bless you, Terry."
I presented my best expression of utter delight.
Raj falters inside his thoughts momentarily. Then, he turned back around and sat for five minutes.
Presently, up springs Raj.
He gallops over to a table seating 3 ladies engaged in a personal chat.
I can't hear what he says as he interrupts with his endearing message of starlight and golden feathers. 3 ladies' faces light up like moonbeams. Raj tugs out a chair for his bottom and sits stringing rainbows for several minutes.I sigh.
Straightaway, delighted giggles bubble to the surface. A trio of middle-aged womanhood is loving whatever blossoms out of Raj's verbal garden.
Now he's back. He sits and opens his laptop. I catch sight of his screen. It's Bible Gateway. Of course, it is.
Nope--back up! Across the floor, he glides. Table to table like a latter-day Johnny Appleseed of appreciation and cheer. He plants seeds of--I don't know what. Nobody is less than delighted by the time he departs and on to the next harvest.
What's he on about? For some reason--experience probably--I already know the answer.
There is a word for it. It's a word I didn't learn until I was way past embodying its meaning in my own youth.
NUMINOUS: having a strong religious or spiritual quality; indicating or suggesting the presence of a divinity.
____Raj was a divine delivery system yesterday afternoon.
The message?We are beautiful. We are dear. We are appreciated.
As an encounter, it was the least offensive I've ever known.
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6
Grant Us Peace
by Terry ingrant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.
the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.
)his mouth opened.
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Terry
Thank you, Vanderhoven7.
I appreciate the appreciation :) -
6
Grant Us Peace
by Terry ingrant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.
the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.
)his mouth opened.
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Terry
GRANT US PEACE
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I was 12 years old.
A Jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.1959 and this was Music class.
Our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!
How very odd.I had never beheld an actual Catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.
There is a word for it: numinous.His name : Michael. Of course. The archangel.
He seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.
He spoke and we were instructed.
The song was DONA NOBIS PACEM (grant us peace.)
His mouth opened. The simple melody released.
It began ...continued...ended. A sort of dream.With him, Michael carried a violin case which opened
as the spectacular instrument caught the light ...just so...
as his head tilted and his cheek pressed against the wood as a baby's cheek against his mother's breast is pressed.This was the first violin I'd heard played outside of a tinny radio speaker.
As the ancient melody climbed aloft, Michael's voice joined in.The violin played one line as the Jesuit's voice carried underneath a harmony. This introduced a magic inside my head which, to this very day, has never left me.
We were asked to sing. Boys sang harmony;
girls, the melody.Doh oh nahhhhh
(pause) no-oh-beeeeese.....
Pah ah chem pah chem ....Doh oh oh oh nahhhh
no oh oh oh beeeese
pah ah chem, pah chem.I learned more from that music class than from all the rest.
It was more than my mind could contain or my emotions could comprehend.
I've come to conclude what I experienced was a
transcendent moment.I suddenly realized why the Catholic Church had lasted two thousand years.
_____Catholics were never taught anything compared to Jehovah's Witnesses who were indoctrinated relentlessly.
Ironically, a couple of thousand years have passed for Catholics and only one hundred for JW's and they've both
ended up in court infested by child molesters.
The simple awe of church spectacle and music the hearts of the parish inside those churches. Forgiveness
is dispensed and hearts are (seemingly) healed.
Inside a Kingdom Hall, fear of Armageddon is pounded like hammer to anvil.
So different; yet - perhaps ultimately the same.
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17
A Song to Jehovah's Praise - rejected!
by Terry inas an obedient little jw at age 20, i was serving time in federal prison in the late 60's, and the 40 brothers inside seagoville prison decided to stage our own assembly.i was the music servant.
(we didn't have elders back then.
)the theme of the assembly mimicked the free world assemblies being held outside.long story short:i composed (what i think and everyone else thought was) a very good song titled:following the fine shepherd as the end draws near.we rehearsed it (bros who had instruments) and the consensus revealed it was a winner._____excerpt:"jehovah god above, we owe you all our love; you are our shepherd and we follow you.though satan demands, that we must compromise; we'd sooner face death than be wrong in your eyes.now and forevermore, we fear not satan's roar;you are our shepherd and we follow you.
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Terry
I have had half a century to weigh the days of my prison experience carefully.
Hindsight pits the man I am against the boy I was.
In my memoir of prison, I Wept by the Rivers of Babylon, I have a conversation with myself.
Nobody learns anything from experience except AFTER the experience. Up till that point,
you go on trust, counsel, admonition, and - I suppose, a certain amount of self-interest.
The problem with a Jehovah's Witness's "conscience" is that IT DOESN'T EXIST. Not really.
Why do I say that?
Because we are not allowed to act in our own best interest. Not legitimately.
We are only deceived into thinking obedience to Watchtower results in everybody's best interest
and that is fraudulent.
I was a Conscientious Objector in name only. I acted against my own best interests under mind control.
I can say that now. I'd have argued differently, of course, back then.
