I began life observing; really no part of what was going on.
I was shuffled into a deck and dealt into a game where others handled me and played me.
Finding myself in the pile of discards, I became that disappearing card in a magic trick.
Now I'm part of nobody's deck or game. At all.
I shall end life observing, really no part of what is going on.
Context is everything.
What are the constants in life and which are the variables?
If you can hold on to those - you won't lose yourself.
The current generation of people has very little "self" because individuality
has been dissolved into a cult, a tribe, partisan madness.
Moral 'high-horse' is a pathetic excuse for self.
I'm glad I'm on the way out, frankly.
I miss sanity, as little as there ever was :)
Posts by Terry
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28I am now 73 and the road has been filled with wonders
by Terry ini appreciate all my friends who stop to read what i write and post.
you help me more than you know simply by being there as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with.i guess if i didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, i could pack it in and join elon musk in a colony on mars.january 15, 2020. .
which world is this?_________________when the doctor pulled my screaming body out of mom all those 7 decades ago, i landed in a post-wwii world.it was--compared to today's world--an alien planet.the world i live in today has nothing in common with the world in which i grew up.there were no cell phones back then--there were black telephones with a dial-tone and an operator who placed your call.everywhere you found telephone booths!
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Terry
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14
Movie Review 1917
by Terry inmovie review"1917".
i so seldom seek to sit inside an actual movie theater anymore.however ...some films are absolutely tailored for it.life of pigravityavatar3 examples of movies which do not translate to your home viewing...at all.good, bad, or indifferent - some films are visual and immersive.. here is a sacred pronouncement:movies are a visual medium.in the hands of an orson welles (i.e.
citizen kane) they are a radio play+visual storytelling medium._____.
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Terry
MOVIE REVIEW
"1917"I so seldom seek to sit inside an actual movie theater anymore.
However ...
Some films are absolutely tailored for it.
LIFE OF PI
GRAVITY
AVATAR
3 examples of movies which do NOT translate to your home viewing...at all.
Good, bad, or indifferent - some films are VISUAL and IMMERSIVE.Here is a sacred pronouncement:
Movies are a VISUAL medium.
In the hands of an Orson Welles (i.e. Citizen Kane) they are a radio play+visual storytelling medium.
_____Spectacle, per se, is boring...mostly. To me.
CGI spectacle is like an angry mob.
Noise. Chaos. Overindulgence.Rare exceptions do exist, but only as exceptions.
LORD OF THE RINGS set the standard in modern times
and so so many imitations have ruined movie going for me.
("Super hero", he whispered.)Perfection in a film is only achieved when the blend and balance of a Master's vision and consummate control of elements is wrought...and miraculously achieved.
1917
This is a perfect film
It is based in part on an account told to Mendes by his paternal grandfather, Alfred Mendes, and chronicles the story of two young British soldiers during World War I who are given a mission to deliver a message. This warns of an ambush during a skirmish, soon after the German retreat to the Hindenburg Line during Operation Alberich in 1917.
Go see it.
___
I'm not going to sit here and spoon feed you.
If you once loved movies and seldom go anymore -
get off yer butt and GO SEE IT.The cinematography is a MIRACLE!
The music score is exactly and precisely subliminal to the point
it must be adrenal secretion in your pulse. This is not a Hollywood war movie.Thomas Newman was born to create music for this film.
He is the anti-thesis of Hanz Zimmer.
His score is the bloodstream of this film and not the fists.Put CHRISTOPHER NOLAN waaaaaay over THERE out of my eyesight, please. Let me have my SAM MENDES.
Go see 1917.
You'll help me save my breath.Kubrick's PATHS of GLORY
Mendes' 1917
Milestone's ALL'S QUIET on the WESTERN FRONT
Terrence Malick's THE THIN RED LINEare four masterpieces of wartime cinema.
Go see it.
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28
I am now 73 and the road has been filled with wonders
by Terry ini appreciate all my friends who stop to read what i write and post.
you help me more than you know simply by being there as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with.i guess if i didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, i could pack it in and join elon musk in a colony on mars.january 15, 2020. .
which world is this?_________________when the doctor pulled my screaming body out of mom all those 7 decades ago, i landed in a post-wwii world.it was--compared to today's world--an alien planet.the world i live in today has nothing in common with the world in which i grew up.there were no cell phones back then--there were black telephones with a dial-tone and an operator who placed your call.everywhere you found telephone booths!
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Terry
Thank you all for your personal shares and comments on this thread.
I want to ask something.
Have you ever noticed this?
You'll watch an old movie - one your remember was a favorite from long ago - and when you sit
and listen and view it today - you CRINGE? Something has changed inside of YOU which makes
viewing uncomfortable.
This happens to me all the time.
WE CHANGE.
Nothing remains the same but the impression we are till ourselves.
But - I believe who ever we "are" never remains constant unless - UNLESS we remain in a cult where
nothing is permitted to individualize and an echo chamber of "I agree" bounces and reverberates constantly like a tolling bell.
WHO ARE WE after 73 years compared with the age of eighteen or thirty?
I personally, after four marriages and seven kids, I look back and think I recognize myself and I am constantly mistaken.
My kid's memories of events differ from my own.
The only constant in the universe is change. Is it better to change or be the same?
Depends on whether you reach "perfection" early or not :) -
28
I am now 73 and the road has been filled with wonders
by Terry ini appreciate all my friends who stop to read what i write and post.
you help me more than you know simply by being there as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with.i guess if i didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, i could pack it in and join elon musk in a colony on mars.january 15, 2020. .
which world is this?_________________when the doctor pulled my screaming body out of mom all those 7 decades ago, i landed in a post-wwii world.it was--compared to today's world--an alien planet.the world i live in today has nothing in common with the world in which i grew up.there were no cell phones back then--there were black telephones with a dial-tone and an operator who placed your call.everywhere you found telephone booths!
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Terry
A big THANK YOU to one and all...
I had no idea so many old fossils inhabited this discussion forum.
I appreciate your POV on things. -
28
I am now 73 and the road has been filled with wonders
by Terry ini appreciate all my friends who stop to read what i write and post.
you help me more than you know simply by being there as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with.i guess if i didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, i could pack it in and join elon musk in a colony on mars.january 15, 2020. .
which world is this?_________________when the doctor pulled my screaming body out of mom all those 7 decades ago, i landed in a post-wwii world.it was--compared to today's world--an alien planet.the world i live in today has nothing in common with the world in which i grew up.there were no cell phones back then--there were black telephones with a dial-tone and an operator who placed your call.everywhere you found telephone booths!
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Terry
I appreciate all my friends who stop to read what I write and post.
You help me more than you know simply by BEING THERE as a sense of 'family of friends' for me to talk to and 'share' thoughts with.
I guess if I didn't have stories left to tell or people to listen, I could pack it in and join Elon Musk in a colony on Mars.January 15, 2020WHICH WORLD is this?
_________________
When the doctor pulled my screaming body out of mom all those 7 decades ago, I landed in a post-WWII world.
It was--compared to today's world--an alien planet.
The world I live in today has nothing in common with the world in which I grew up.
There were no cell phones back then--there were black telephones with a dial-tone and an Operator who placed your call.
Everywhere you found telephone booths! A call was a nickle.
Where did all those telephone booths go?
I dunno.
Where did my whole world go?
I dunno.
TV sets were huge boxes with tubes and small screens. Images were black and white.
It was an idiot box. It still is.
A "computer" was a Science fiction trope and in reality, consisted of vast rooms full of blinking lights and hardware.
Men wore hats, women wore stockings with a black seam down the back.
Everybody smoked cigarettes. Everywhere!
There was "easy listening" music filled with lush melody.
Movies were vivid storybooks filled with comedy, song and dance, and noir.
Only sailors, convicts, and primitive tribal communities had tattoos.
Kids said, "Yes Sir" and "No, Ma'am".
And so on...
I've lived in several worlds on different planets--not literally, but essentially for all the extraordinary dissonances, customs, attitudes, and ethos. (Good word "ethos", look it up.)
Today--what world is this?
Have I lost the thread?
Who knows their next door neighbor anymore?
Who spends time sitting on the front porch in the evening in a swing, sipping ice tea and waving at the folks across the street?
Who reads actual Literature?
Who buys paintings or objet d'art?
Who knows the classical music repertoire?
Who is conversant with dates, names, movements in human history with any certainty?
I was there when TV arrived and the first commercial jingles were created.
I lived in the radio soap opera era.
I was there when Bebop lived side by side with West Coast jazz and the Big Bands faded as Rock n' Roll was born.
I lived among Beatniks, Folk singers, Doo-Wops, Hippies, and the birth of the Long Play record and the death of the 78 shellac platters.
The year I was born, the transistor was invented. (1947).
I was 7 years old when the first transistor radios were sold (1954).
The very first satellite went into orbit when I was 15 years old. (1962)
I was 18 years old as 8 Track tapes were all the rage.(1965)
I was 22 years old when man first walked on the moon. (1969)
I was 32 years old when the Sony Walkman revolutionized portable music. And it was just a cassette player!
By 1975, the first mass marketing of Video Tape Recorders was sold at about a thousand dollars each.
The personal computer was barely a dream in the future!
So what? What point am I making?
If you aren't 70 then:
I'm from a different world than YOU are!
My ways are not your ways.
My thoughts and feelings and ideas and opinions are just plain weird to you because you haven't lived my lifetime.
I've seen people become famous, fade, and pass into obscurity.
I've heard fearful predictions for the future which turned out to be absolute hogwash.
I've seen the rise of horrible political leaders who later fell.
I lived through a great many wars and spent time in Federal Prison, a religious cult, four marriages, and produced 7 children.
I've been Nerd, a religious fanatic, an artist, a composer, a writer, husband, father, best friend, and generally a pain in the ass.
BUT I'M STILL HERE.
It isn't MY world--it is your world.
I AM A LIVING TIME MACHINE.
When I speak--you are getting a message from another era. -
17
A Song to Jehovah's Praise - rejected!
by Terry inas an obedient little jw at age 20, i was serving time in federal prison in the late 60's, and the 40 brothers inside seagoville prison decided to stage our own assembly.i was the music servant.
(we didn't have elders back then.
)the theme of the assembly mimicked the free world assemblies being held outside.long story short:i composed (what i think and everyone else thought was) a very good song titled:following the fine shepherd as the end draws near.we rehearsed it (bros who had instruments) and the consensus revealed it was a winner._____excerpt:"jehovah god above, we owe you all our love; you are our shepherd and we follow you.though satan demands, that we must compromise; we'd sooner face death than be wrong in your eyes.now and forevermore, we fear not satan's roar;you are our shepherd and we follow you.
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Terry
The song was a symptom.
It was the real world nudging me.
Well, I don't have regrets about the song not being used per se because it wasn't authentic or that
the effort was wasted. I'm annoyed by the memory of the nasty little man in a position of power
who used his position to bully me and hang a lie on the reason for it.
Those of the Ex-JW community who have dealt with double-dealing Elders are at first shocked
and saddened by being treated unfairly. It eventually fests, of course.
You can't win against Elders whether they're straight OR crooked.
The system is rigged merely to CONTROL you.
Seeing all my illusions of the "only true religion" crumble was like watching a home burn to the ground.
You don't just lose the house - it's everything inside as well as the emotional connection of "home."
Being an Ex-JW is becoming a non-entity with a soiled reputation.
People who were supposed to be friends for life suddenly turn on you without a conversation.
Group think. -
6
A Jehovah's Witness matter clearly not understood by a great many members (concerning imprisonment)
by Terry induring the vietnam war (1955 - 1975) young men reaching the age of 18 were required by law to register for the draft within 30 days of that birthday.jehovah's witnesses included.most jw's did not (perhaps never did) understand the situation faced by young brothers in the congregation.the general "understanding" among the rank and file went something like this.1.
jw's serve jehovah as ruler rather than men.
2. we believe "thou shalt not kill."3.
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Terry
The ultimate "price" of being a Jehovah's Witness in good standing is the evaporation
of opportunity.
Meaning what?
When you are young and have your life ahead of you, so many opportunities are there for
education, friends, career, financial stability and building the actual future (rather than the make-believe).
Watchtower religion is Bernie Madoff taking all that and "investing"on your behalf.
All those friends aren't friends.
All those promises are illusory fluff.
I'd love to at least look back and think I was brave but instead I'm like like the guys who fought to take a hill
which was later given back to the enemy by politicians.
I was a sucker and a dupe. Nothing heroic at all.
Seeing 20 years as a stupid investment hurts.
Being a useful idiot is not much of a legacy. -
6
A Jehovah's Witness matter clearly not understood by a great many members (concerning imprisonment)
by Terry induring the vietnam war (1955 - 1975) young men reaching the age of 18 were required by law to register for the draft within 30 days of that birthday.jehovah's witnesses included.most jw's did not (perhaps never did) understand the situation faced by young brothers in the congregation.the general "understanding" among the rank and file went something like this.1.
jw's serve jehovah as ruler rather than men.
2. we believe "thou shalt not kill."3.
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Terry
During the Vietnam War (1955 - 1975) young men reaching the age of 18 were required by law to register for the Draft within 30 days of that birthday.
Jehovah's Witnesses included.
Most JW's did NOT (perhaps never did) understand the situation faced by young brothers in the congregation.
The general "understanding" among the rank and file went something like this.
1. JW's serve Jehovah as ruler rather than men.
2. We believe "thou shalt not kill."
3. We are all ministers. We deserve a ministerial deferment.
And so forth.
But wait--there's more!
About 300,000 young men were being drafted EACH YEAR from the general population.
Of 16,000 men convicted of draft resistance during the war (and sentenced to a maximum of five years), 6,000 were rejected Conscientious Objectors, and 3/4 of those were Jehovah's Witnesses.
That's 4,500 Jehovah's Witness boys between 18 and 25.
Got that?
25,000 Conscientious Objectors were assigned to non-combat military duty.
GOT ALL THAT?
Good, let's move on.
___________________________________________________________Hardly any rank and file Jehovah's Witnesses have been exposed to the details of the decision, the actual choice facing young members of the Kingdom Hall congregation in the U.S.
Here are the true facts of the matter.
ANY person drafted into Military Service in the United States was required to do 3 things.
1. Register for the draft immediately upon reaching the age of 18.
2. When notice arrived in the mail, the draftee had to report locally for an Armed Forces Military physical examination.
3. A meeting with a local Draft Board must be scheduled, but only IF A REQUEST of deferment from duty for cause was tendered.
I did all three.
Note #3 above. Before your local Draft Board, the objective for a JW was to convince the board you were an actual minister and NOT JUST a person of conscience. What's the difference?
The person officially recognized as a religious minister of a denomination was automatically granted
a classification if 4-D .
4-D - Ministers of Religion - Exempted from military service.
Otherwise (as in my case) you simply received I-A-O.
My draft card classified me as :
1-A-O -Conscientious Objector - Conscientiously opposed to training and military service requiring the use of arms - fulfills his service obligation in a noncombatant position within the military. Those classified 1-A-O are conscientious objectors available for noncombatant military service.
Legally, all I was required to do was report for non-combat community service!
Ready for the big twist-ending?
My congregations elders (overseers) privately took me aside. I was counseled NOT to ACCEPT
assigned alternate service in a hospital!
I was told it was a "compromise" of my faith.
I was to REFUSE my lawfully assigned alternate service.
So, instead - go to prison to demonstrate Jehovah's Witnesses were not like other false religious organizations.
______
See how different this understanding is of imprisoned brothers?
We weren't AVOIDING going to war. We weren't saving our own ass.
We were never legally required to enter the military since we were classified a non-combatants.
My choices were:
I would never have gone to Vietnam. I would have helped sick people.
This is the "dirty little secret" hidden from most JW's all this time.
I was sternly admonished never to tell any officer of the court or law I HAD BEEN DIRECTED by my religion to do this, saying only "It is a matter of conscientious ; a Bible-based conscience."
Are you surprised?
One more surprise.
There was only ONE EXCEPTION allowed.
IF your Judge "SENTENCED YOU" to hospital work - you COULD accept.
Why?
You were under compulsion - NOT by the Military - but by the Law itself.
Crazy enough for you?
I knew a brother who hired Hayden C. Covington ($10,000) to represent him for jury trial.
(Wealthy family.)
Covington got his sentenced reduced to 2 years instead of 5 as a plea deal.
(It came out later Covington knew all along most JW's only served 2 years till parole anyway.)
My friend asked Covington not to accept such a plea. Covington talked him into it. Hayden C. Covington had been telephoned by Cassius Clay's family (Muhammed Ali) and asked to take the boxer's Draft Evasion case for a million bucks. Covington had to get out my friend's case in a hurry.
Just thought you should know. For the record.
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17
A Song to Jehovah's Praise - rejected!
by Terry inas an obedient little jw at age 20, i was serving time in federal prison in the late 60's, and the 40 brothers inside seagoville prison decided to stage our own assembly.i was the music servant.
(we didn't have elders back then.
)the theme of the assembly mimicked the free world assemblies being held outside.long story short:i composed (what i think and everyone else thought was) a very good song titled:following the fine shepherd as the end draws near.we rehearsed it (bros who had instruments) and the consensus revealed it was a winner._____excerpt:"jehovah god above, we owe you all our love; you are our shepherd and we follow you.though satan demands, that we must compromise; we'd sooner face death than be wrong in your eyes.now and forevermore, we fear not satan's roar;you are our shepherd and we follow you.
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Terry
LongHairGal,
"You also can never know what may have happened if you decided to enlist and did go to Vietnam.."
____
Actually that was NOT the alternative!
Going to Vietnam was never the "other"part of the decision to refuse induction.
Hardly any Jehovah's Witnesses have been exposed to the details of the decision, the actual choice before draft age young men.
Here are the true facts of the matter.
ANY person drafted into Military Service was required to do 3 things.
1. Register for the draft immediately upon reaching the age of 18.
2. When notice arrived in the mail, the draftee had to report locally for an Armed Forces Military physical examination.
3. A meeting with a local Draft Board must be scheduled, but only IF A REQUEST of deferment from duty for cause was tendered.
I did all three.
My draft card which must be carried in public at all times, classified me as :
1-A-O - Conscientious Objector - Conscientiously opposed to training and military service requiring the use of arms - fulfills his service obligation in a noncombatant position within the military. Those classified 1-A-O are conscientious objectors available for noncombatant military service.
You see, LongHairGal?
Legally, all I was required to do was report for non-combat community service!
Ready for the big twist-ending?
My congregations elders (overseers) privately took me aside. I was counseled to NOT ACCEPT
assigned alternate service in a hospital!
I was told it was a "compromise" of my faith.
I was to REFUSE my lawfully assigned alternate service and - instead - go to prison to demonstrate
Jehovah's Witnesses were not like other false religious organizations.
I would never have gone to Vietnam. I would have helped sick people.
This is the "dirty little secret" hidden from most JW's all this time.
I was sternly admonished to never tell any officer of the court or law I HAD BEEN DIRECTED by my religion to do this, saying only "It is a matter of conscientious ; a Bible-based conscience."
Are you surprised?
One more surprise.
There was only ONE EXCEPTION allowed.
IF your Judge "SENTENCED YOU" to hospital work - you COULD accept.
Why?
You were under compulsion - NOT by the Military - but by the Law itself.
Crazy enough for you? -
6
Grant Us Peace
by Terry ingrant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.
the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.
)his mouth opened.
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Terry
stillin18 minutes ago
Numinous is new to me. But I grew up as a Catholic and an altar boy and in the choir. I have had a few of those transcendent moments as a Catholic, but I can't say that I ever had one as a Witness.
_____
Stillin,
There was a moment as a JW that lasted maybe a full minute while in prison ...
I stepped out of the large Administration building at Seagoville Federal Correctional Institution into the "magic hour" straight light of near sunset.
I had delivered a prisoner request form to Lieutenant Bennett. (The inmates called it a "cop out" form :)Nothing much on my mind.
I looked up squinting at that red glow that catches the low-hanging cirrus clouds and turns them
to blacksmith-hot cherry red.
It hit me.
In my brain, a full-blown NUMINOUS moment arrived like...
Like ....
Tom Jones in person at the amphitheater in Los Angeles years later.
(Women of all ages wet their pants with an astonishing outburst of worship - or *something*)
My heart lept at that sunset and the 100% certainty only a fanatic can experience.
This momentarily persuaded me I was being forged by the blacksmith Jehovah in a kind of prison furnace and shaped for useful purpose.
I was to be something I not yet was - idling at present - yet a work in progress.
I felt (don't laugh) I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING.
Seconds ...mere ticks of a small wristwatch later ...that whole moment vanished. I couldn't get near
recalling the *feeling* itself.
None of that means anything, of course. But - I can say it more or less happened.
So many human beings have felt "the calling" ....
Was it like that? Or just a brain fart ? :)
As things turned out (very badly) I am here to say: nope.
