I know of a young man raised a JW who is now out completely. He is highly intelligent, well-mannered, and ambitious. On the surface, it looks like he made it out of the lifelong cult without too many scars - but - I've gotten to know him at a deeper level and I know he is in anguish.
He recently walked off his job where he was making seventy thousand dollars over an issue of conscience about Black Lives Matter.
It is my considered opinion, he has transitioned from one rigid mindset to another (regardless of merit) because he craves solidarity, community, and a righteous cause.
That hunger is ravening and this is an outlet.
I'm not a psychologist, but he calls me and he's crying and hurting and he's confused.
When I was disfellowshipped, I had no idea I was suffering some kind of PTSD. I really didn't. But my live went off the rails and I thought I was just a rotten fellow.
I bring all this up for a reason. The DAMAGE is done and it doesn't repair itself.
The alternative to the frying is NOT the fire.
Where is a former cult member groomed for only one rigid mindset to go and still remain sane?
That conditioning is profound.
I was an angry person when I first came here in around 2003 and got into one debate after another. I'm not really like that. My temperament is easy going and silly most of the time - but - that old anger at all things religion took hold of me. I see it in others more easily now.
We're broken people who can help each other heal with kindness and understanding.
I told the (above) fellow to remember one thing when he tries to wake is mother and sister up about JW's.
"You are taking away something and you don't have the ability to replace what's gone. There's an empty space the size of Jehovah and a Kingdom Hall they have to cope with. Do you understand what sort of wound that is to inflict under the auspices of "setting things straight"?
Remember that scene in the Matrix after Neo takes the red pill and wakes up?
SCARY AS HELL.
That's what happens when you wake JW's up.
It's good to remember that we who do the waking need to have a plan for how to deal with the wreckage.
Posts by Terry
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12Anointed Grandmother wakes up
by Terry inanointed great grandmother who woke upi arrived at the coffee shop on my bicycle and took up a seat at the outdoor table in the fresh air.
(this was way before the pandemic).. a lady with permed white hair walked over to my table and spoke directly to me.. i was wearing earbuds at that moment and didn’t hear.
i popped them out and asked her to repeat herself.. “that’s a beautiful bicycle you have there.
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Terry
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12
Anointed Grandmother wakes up
by Terry inanointed great grandmother who woke upi arrived at the coffee shop on my bicycle and took up a seat at the outdoor table in the fresh air.
(this was way before the pandemic).. a lady with permed white hair walked over to my table and spoke directly to me.. i was wearing earbuds at that moment and didn’t hear.
i popped them out and asked her to repeat herself.. “that’s a beautiful bicycle you have there.
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Terry
When the Furuli letter came to light along with his book, I immediately
remember sister "Boots", as we all called her.
Can you imagine?
You can demonstrate your loyalty and try to make a correction for the sake of reality and sanity and truth - but - they kick you to the ground no matter what.
I wonder how may of these letters decrying false teachings the Watchtower has in their files? -
12
Anointed Grandmother wakes up
by Terry inanointed great grandmother who woke upi arrived at the coffee shop on my bicycle and took up a seat at the outdoor table in the fresh air.
(this was way before the pandemic).. a lady with permed white hair walked over to my table and spoke directly to me.. i was wearing earbuds at that moment and didn’t hear.
i popped them out and asked her to repeat herself.. “that’s a beautiful bicycle you have there.
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Terry
ANOINTED Great Grandmother who woke up
I arrived at the coffee shop on my bicycle and took up a seat at the outdoor table in the fresh air. (This was way before the pandemic).A lady with permed white hair walked over to my table and spoke directly to me.
I was wearing earbuds at that moment and didn’t hear. I popped them out and asked her to repeat herself.
“That’s a beautiful bicycle you have there. What a great way to stay healthy!”
I tossed off a few uninteresting statistics about how many days I’ve ridden my bicycle without relying on an automobile.
As I spoke, I could see she was scrutinizing my face like a private investigator rummaging for clues. The analytical part of my brain went on alert at that instant. What was she doing?
“I think I know you. It’s been a long, long time ago when last I saw you. I don’t expect you’d remember me but I remember you because my great grandmother use to tell me how much you reminded her of her favorite movie star, Randolph Scott.”
Straightaway, I put 2+2 together! I knew exactly who she was talking about--after all, nobody else in the whole world had ever said I looked like Randolph Scott but one lady!
“You’re talking about **Mildred Pettifog, aren’t you?”
This lady about fell over when I pulled that rabbit out of the hat!
“How in the world--I mean--that’s impossible you should say that. How--how do you know that?”I explained the instant connection and invited her to sit. I could see she wanted to talk.
She was jovial, keen-eyed and pleasant. All the while I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I'm an EX Jehovah’s Witness and that is a ticking time bomb in one of these conversations.
Until they find out you’re not one of them--they’re friendly.The second you tell them - they’ll flee in terror at the prospect an “Apostate” might be talking to them!
It came as a huge relief when she took the initiative to tell me she had escaped from the clutches of the Organization.
We swapped horror stories and gossipy tidbits for awhile until she was just about ready to leave. Then she stopped and gazed out into the middle distance and dredged up a memory to relate to me. After I heard it, I sort of sat dumb with my jaw hanging open.
______This "woke"JW told me a little story about her great grandmother.
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First - a bit of background about how I knew this Anointed great grandmother .The first time I encountered Mildred Pettifog she was a full time Pioneer knocking on stranger’s doors. (“Pioneer” door to door neighborhood ministry @ one hundred hours each month as a required ministerial quota.)
Yes, she was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and had been brought up as one of the old Bible Students connected to Pastor Russell's group since the late 19th century.
In case that means nothing to you, think of it this way, the Civil War was fought 15 years before Mildred was born.By the time I was introduced to her (1960), this interesting little bundle of dynamite was already 80 years old and going strong.
In today’s world, older women chase after eternal youth cosmetically in ways which hide or disguise the aging process. Hardly anyone actually knows what an old person would look like without this lavish attention to diet, exercise, Botox, face-lifts, and youthful stylishness.
However, back in 1960, when I first attended the Fort Worth Polytechnic Kingdom Hall as a guest, old ladies still looked like old ladies.For example . . .
Sister Pettifog sported a funny little purple hat riveted to the back of her head by a long hat pin with an improbably large pearl on its end about the size of a Robin’s egg. Her hair was mostly silver-white tinged with an incomprehensible blue tint.
What a face!
Hers was a crinkled smile - and large brown eyes with fierce determination - but kindness.
Her cheeks radiated a pinkish orange circle of (rouge) a proper style back in the olden days. Once seen, Sister Pettifog was not soon forgotten!Her dresses appeared to be handmade on her old Singer sewing machine. Her prudently selected fabric at the local fabric shop was demure.
The steel rimmed bifocals framed her wide-set eyes perfectly and bestowed an impression of quiet intelligence and wisdom.Sister Mildred always liked a perfume you named Jungle Gardenia. I was told all this on the spot, of course, by the lady herself within 5 minutes of meeting her. (Yes - random:)
The most remarkable aspect of Mildred Pettifog’s persona was the fact she was one of the elite anointed members at our Kingdom Hall.
(At the time, it was special - very special. A hallowed celebrity status.
Decades later the ruling Governing Body has taken all that special cachet for themselves alone.)
What did it actually mean to be “anointed” by holy spirit as a JW?
Sister Pettifog had what was known as “a heavenly calling.”
Rank and file Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t set their hopes on going to heaven when they die.No, not at all!
The vast majority aim for an “Earthly hope.” Life everlasting in a new Eden.
Scant few possess the interior tingle of a self-aware frisson. (A special self-awareness)
If you’ve never been a Jehovah’s Witness, you’ll be scratching your head about now wondering aloud just how cuckoo this denomination really is.Don’t worry about that right now, suffice it to say Mildred Pettifog was a rare individual viewed with almost “magical” special-ness (although no JW would ever employ the word
“magic.”)Until fairly recently, the millions of Jehovah’s Witnesses all over the world were under the impression the “anointed” got direct messages from the heavenly realm tipping them off about sacred secrets and advance prophetic divination. These whisperings were better than stock market tips! (Although none has ever paid off).
The person introducing me spoke in a sudden and respectful hushed tone of awe in their voice as Mildred’s name was intoned. This created a funny feeling inside of me too.
The psychology of awe is quite contagious! Sort of like, “Ya wanna meet Elvis?”Now you may be wondering why I’m telling you all this about one little old lady, right?
In the grand scheme of things, it means nothing to you, of course.
Well, don’t be so sure.
Give me a couple of more minutes to relate my story and you might just change your mind.
Fair enough?
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Another layer of BackgroundBefore I met him, my future best friend Johnny had gone through a sudden ‘conversion experience’ after a conversation with Mildred Pettifog.
He was only 9 years old at that time.Sister Pettifog had knocked on his door and his mother Jenny had answered. Much to his surprise and horror, Jenny started cussing out the old lady and slammed the door in her face after only a few moments of discussion of the Bible.
Johnny felt his world crash about him.
After all, his mom Jenny was NOT that kind of person. She was a charming, affable, and a genuinely kind woman. Why had she been so vulgar and rude to the old lady?(Johnny told me the whole story about 5 years before he died.)
Johnny’s parents moved to Fort Worth from South Texas and had dressed up special to go to the nearby Baptist Church for the first time taking all their kids with them (Johnny, Judy, JoAnn, Vicki).Upon arrival, the Pastor of the all white church pulled them aside and not-too-politely instructed them to go to the “Mexican” Baptist Church three miles distant.
Why?
“You folks will feel more comfortable there.”Johnny’s father was from a Spanish family and his skin was deep hued in an era in which race relations in the South were testy, judgmental, and volatile.
Following this stinging and hurtful embarrassing rejection, Jenny and Steve disavowed church in a fit of righteous indignation, nursing their tender feelings self-isolated from fellowship of any sort.
The arrival of Sister Pettifog at the door that day was ill-timed at the “worst possible” moment for raw emotions triggering an unfortunate outburst from Jenny Santa Cruz.9-year-old Johnny ran after the old lady and apologized to her for his mother’s tantrum and insults.
Unexpectedly (from Johnny's point-of-view, Sister Pettifog was jovial and forgiving.
She invited Johnny to sit with her once a week for a private Bible study.
He leapt at the offer being of an especially open and intelligent frame of mind given to a natural curiosity about the Divine.So powerful was the teaching and personality of Sister Pettifog, in no time at all she was studying with the rest of Johnny’s family, overcoming all objections, answering questions and amazing them with her uncanny grasp of all the spiritual secrets of the Almighty Jehovah!
The upshot of this incident will now make more sense to you with this background in place.
For, you see, Johnny became my best friend some 3 years after that incident and he began bombarding me with religious conversation from day one.
Johnny learned from an Anointed - and I learned from Johnny. It was like being taught piano by a student of Beethoven himself! (I don't exaggerate).When I attended the local Kingdom Hall with him my first time, it was fated to be my first meeting with Johnny’s favorite person in all the world of Jehovah and anointing: Sister Pettifog!
It was Johnny’s tone of hushed awe which made my spine tingle when Sister Pettifog took my hand and told me,
“You remind me of my favorite movie actor, Randolph Scott!”
And So It Began!We’ve now squared the circle on all the background, haven’t we?
Yes, I think so.
I became a Jehovah’s Witness 3 years later.
Within 20 years I’d be an Ex-JW while Johnny remained entrenched and immovable for the rest of his life.
(He died at age 69. We had not spoken for years because of JW religious shunning practices when a member stops being a member.)
___________Back to the great granddaughter’s story related to me!
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(NOTE: It is impossible for me to be exactly quoting word-for-word a conversation. I have an excellent memory - but - this is ME quoting HER as I remember. This is my best shot.)
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Great Granddaughter speaks:“The first time my great grandmother said one bad thing about the WatchTower organization I thought I was going to have a heart attack! It was like a bomb went off in my head! Granny Mildred is the one person most able to turn a Bible study into a Baptism.
She had a way about her.
She was not just the best; she was the best of the best.
But, as you well know, the Truth, so-called, of the WatchTower organization has a way of changing infrequently with a strange anonymity to the process. Mildred noticed it and used the word, “Sneaky.”"This shocked me. I didn’t believe my ears. I asked her to explain.
When I heard what she had to say, I wished I hadn’t!
She stood there in the kitchen helping me wash dishes like she always insisted on doing and at the same time started ticking off a long list of horrible things she claimed the Organization had done over the years to prove they were NOT the true religion! I kept telling her not to continue.
I was panicking!
I immediately thought of rushing her to the hospital. It was obvious to me--or so I thought--she had suffered a stroke and wasn’t responsible for her words!”“It took her almost a year to deprogram me!
We moved to Oklahoma and started going to a new Kingdom Hall.
All the while, she kept going to all the meetings and out in Field Service, (door to door,) like nothing inside her had changed.
I asked her how she could stand it. How could she pretend this was still “The Truth”?
“Mildred smiled and explained she could do a whole lot more good ‘undercover’ than as an Apostate, because nobody was allowed to listen to an ex-member. But everybody would listen to her as one of the anointed remnant!”
______At this point in her story, I was stunned. This was amazing me! I begged for details. The great granddaughter glanced at her watch. She had to go shortly but she said she’d tell me this one thing Mildred always did when she was around young Witnesses.
_____"My Great Grandmother would wait until she was in the car with a trapped audience who couldn’t flee. Then she’d start talking about her life as a Jehovah’s Witness. . . .
Pettifog's voice:“I was born the year after the WatchTower was first published.
My parents were among the first Bible Students to subscribe.
Pastor Russell taught the Time of the End started in 1799 when Napoleon took the Pope hostage. I bet you never hear THAT before -well - It's embarrassing to say that out loud."
"Pastor Russell explained to us that Jesus returned in 1874 invisibly.
You don’t know that either, of course. It's embarrassing to say that out loud, too."
"Pastor Russell came up with some very exact measurements of the Great Pyramid in Egypt to predict 1914. Yes - that's what I said. The Pastor assured all of us, 1914 was definitely scheduled by the pyramid to be Armageddon! He explained that the Children of Israel had built the Great Pyramid and Jehovah put secret messages - so to speak - into those measurements!
Does that sound crazy? Well, shame on you for being smarter than Pastor Russell!
It was all "true" and Truth for awhile. And then - it wasn't any more!
Pastor Russell died and another WatchTower president took his place - and - CHANGED the meaning of the Great Pyramid. He told us - Satan placed those measurement inside to fool us!"
Yes - everything we had been teaching our friends and neighbors was suddenly changed overnight--and no longer the Truth anymore!"
WatchTower is always moving dates forward just like it was nothing--game pieces on a board! Lots of Brothers and Sisters fell away over the years. Isn't that sad?"
"Just because the Truth stopped making sense - they went Apostate!
Here is a lesson for you girls.
How I felt as a young girl, as a teenager, as a grown woman - again and again I would have to erase everything I was told as though it never happened! You'll learn to do it too!"
"Here is how you do it, how I did it -- I was not faithful to the Bible--no sir!
I stayed faithful to the Organization!
Why?
I knew I was going to heaven no matter what the Governing Body decided was true! "
Here is what happened:
I didn’t graduate from High School or go to college.
You know why? Because Armageddon was coming in 1914--what good would a worldly education do for me?
Of course - it never happened!
Then, when I was 45 years old, Armageddon came again. By that I mean this--it did NOT. It was ‘supposed to’.
But, once again, we remained loyal to Jehovah’s Organization--never mind the Bible.
The Bible says “No man knows the day and hour.”
Our best Bible explainer all those years was a man named Fred Franz. Of course he was like an Oracle. An Anointed soothsayer.
Franz was like an Old Testament prophet. If he said it--it was considered true.
No point in ready your Bible if Fred said something - you learned to go along.
Brother Franz came up with 1975 as the End of six-thousand years of human existence .
He taught that it was The Truth and he got it wrong TWICE."
"I just learned to hang on and hang in there. I knew I'm gong to heaven!
There was for all of us anointed on sure fire way to know when the End was near.
Fewer and fewer Anointed were alive on Earth. As the numbers of us grew smaller - the time was getting closer - you see? Easy Peasy."
The anointed Generation of 1914, had to still be alive to SEE the end.
Our Anointed lives were the Countdown Clock.
Each year, more of us anointed would die and that proved Armageddon was getting closer and closer.
I’m 98 years old. I was 95 the last time Armageddon didn’t come.
You understand?
That was 3 years ago we were taught the world was ending because of Earthquakes, famine, wars--except IT DIDN’T HAPPEN.
So many have died.
So many lost faith in Jehovah’s Organization. But, not me! I’m faithful and loyal to the bitter end.”
______The geat granddaughter shook her head in wonderment at the words she related to me and added,
“How she got away with that--I just don’t know. You could see the young kids’ faces. They didn’t know if she had lost her mind or what! If a young person were of college age, she went out of her way to talk to them. She’d get them off by themselves and say:
"I never got a proper education because the world was ending. It seemed to be ending over and over and over. "
(With a wink.)
“I have friends who never married - and why? Like I said - the End was coming again!
They have no kids or grand kids because we were assured we’d all be in heaven or Paradise."
"Many people now are old, bitter and unhealthy... they never lived a real life just waiting around for Armageddon. Not me - I went ahead and married and I had beautiful kids and grand kids. Do you suppose I’m sorry? Well, I am sorry I didn’t go to college. I could have earned enough money to give my children and grandchildren a start in life. But don’t listen to me. I’m just a grumpy old lady and my mind isn’t as clear as it used to be.”
Then Mildred would walk away leaving those young JW’s with a dazzled expression of pure horror and puzzlement behind.I asked if any Elders ever gave her a good stern talking to.
“Oh for heaven’s sakes! Are you serious? Mildred was too slick for that!
She knew her scriptures and she’d start quoting them one after another until the busybody would shrug and give up. You see, she knew they had too much respect for her to get mean--like they do with most members who have loose tongues.”
_____What happened to Sister Pettifog?
“Mildred died peacefully in her sleep. She had written a long letter to be read to the congregation at her funeral. She mailed it to the Presiding Elder and a copy to WatchTower headquarters before she died. Do I need to tell you,
that letter was never read or mentionedby anybody?
I was asked if I knew anything I needed to tell--about Sister Pettifog’s state of mind. I told them she had only grown more loving, kind, cheerful and open-hearted the older she got. I told them what she had said about loyalty to Jehovah’s Organization, too. They didn’t catch the telltale irony.”
She stopped...gave a little shrug. Eyes moist with remembrance. (Me too.)Then, granddaughter had to leave. I thanked her for stopping to talk to me.
“How long after your great grandmother died did you start to fade?”She turned to go and stopped.
Her tongue flicked out to lick her lower lip reflectively.
“It was probably the day after her funeral.”_________________
I sat and shook my head for awhile.
Stunning encounter it was.
1. Her great grandmother was directly responsible for my best friend Johnny’s captivation with Jehovah’s Witnesses.
2. Johnny, in turn, was responsible for my indoctrination leading to eventual imprisonment later on during the Vietnam War.
3. I, in turn, was a Pioneer who held many Bible studies which led to baptism.
The chain-of-abuse was finally broken when I woke up.
I became an active anti-JW writing books, whistle-blowing about WatchTower deceit.
We all do - don't we? We try to tell people any way we can.
Yet--the lady who thought I looked like Randolph Scott impacted so many lives!!
She brought em in - and she got em out again.
She takes the cake! (As old folks used to say.)
She was a secret activist for the last years of her life and she got away with it.
I’d love to know how many young people she spoke to whose minds were changed or jarred or awakened by her cunning testimony?She really and truly was Remarkable!
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I have changed the lady's name at the request of her great granddaughter. I've honored her request. -
12
Watchtower Greek where the mumbo meets the jumbo
by Terry intake a look at this photo of a now long extinct publication!ain't she a beauty?.
around 1976 i got the wild idea i'd like to learn greek.
gosh - just look at the gorgeous purple book up there!
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Terry
I think each of us separately has that electric moment when it finally hits us -
all our deep-seated belief is based on something illusory - not at all provable.
An amazing feeling.
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She was too young to be dating - but my crush was on her ...mother
by Terry instaring into an empty teacup.
my last memory of her could be carbon dated to 55 years ago.
julie smith and i were jehovah’s witnesses back then.... julie was a startling beauty.
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Terry
I appreciate the kind words.
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She was too young to be dating - but my crush was on her ...mother
by Terry instaring into an empty teacup.
my last memory of her could be carbon dated to 55 years ago.
julie smith and i were jehovah’s witnesses back then.... julie was a startling beauty.
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Terry
STARING INTO AN EMPTY TEACUP
My last memory of her could be Carbon Dated to 55 years ago. Julie Smith and I were Jehovah’s Witnesses back then...
Julie was a startling beauty. She was a blue-eyed, natural blonde; a model, guitar player, a singer with glowing purity of tone, a talented writer and possessed of a wicked sense of humor.
She was too young to be dating and yet she was a natural flirt. She had a big crush.
I too had a crush-.-on her mother! Don’t worry, it was all innocent. (Damn it.)
_________In our phone conversations, she cautioned me--prepared me in advance she had been felled by an affliction or two and would not look the same.
On the phone, it was as though mere days had passed since our last encounter in the Jurassic era of our lives--so vivid and bright was that ravishing humor and personality I felt no necessity of bracing myself.
Now, here I am standing outside her apartment.
Finally, the door opens...slowly…There before my wondering eyes stood this little old lady bent double; pushing a walker, covered with Band-aids and strenuously achieving each step forward.
I hope I did not gasp.
_____I entered her apartment and sat down among her souvenirs, cats, and memorabilia.
She stood slightly bent forward on the other side of her latticed door still applying makeup and chatting away like the 15-year-old prodigy she once was.You know how you can walk out of a darkened room into full sunlight and feel suddenly invigorated? Julie’s life had been the opposite. She’d taken a path from glittering summer solstice to a catacomb of darkest winter.
I followed behind this living ghost, a cherished person as indispensable to my development as an artist and young man.
As old friends must always catch up capturing the bits missing in each other’s recollections.
Missing pieces.
Tiny editorial emendations.
A wisp of who we had once thought we were.
______Julie performed nobly as the tour guide.
We sat for tea in fine China cups as old Friends poured into the cup of memories.
We sipped, savored, and sighed.
Julie's cell phone b-r-r-r-r-ring now and again.
I easily overheard a loud, an abrasive male voice. Each new phone call: the same voice--interrupting, demanding an accounting of this very visit, insistent and irrepressible.
She was embarrassed and explained.
It was her man friend--not at all happy that another male had set foot in "his" domain.
She mildly reassured and scolded him alternately, then, disengaged and apologized. Every man in her life for as long as she could recall......had been controlling....possessive....and rude.
Even now.
I think she relaxed and plunged in because she needed to say what she said to somebody who had once known her before...BEFORE the long, slow, slide into the abyss.
______
Julie and I were Jehovah’s Witnesses back then. She had been ‘born in.’
I, on the other hand, had been what I like to say was “a boiled frog” cooked so gradually I never realized I was done till I was served up on a platter.As she spoke, sealed doors and nailed windows creaked open on her life as it was. Bit by bit, I learned things I wouldn’t have dreamed--what really went on in her family. Those people I thought I knew had a rotten side no matter how lovely, self-possessed or spiritual they appeared. Julie had run away from all that by the time she was 18.
She set off out of Texas into Los Angeles, from the Jehovah’s Witness ‘frying pan’ to the Scientology ‘fire.’
That's cult mentality.
The abused mind is drawn to the familiar.
If you are raised around bullshit you develop a taste for it no matter what color plate on which the meal is served.
Julie had ended up pregnant and forced (Scientology’s policy) to abort if she wanted to remain ‘on staff’ as an Auditor. She hung in until she crashed and moved back to Ft. Worth, Texas.Somehow, she pulled it together long enough to start a modeling career. In no time at all she met and married a man with money who built things for a living. There was money--lots of it--and cocaine. She burned through a lot of both. Her candle was burning at both ends. The addiction and her temperament collided and the balance of her mind was ‘disturbed.’
She injured her spine and the severity of the damage required an internal steel brace. As she was recuperating, she fell and twisted. The operation had cost a Queen's ransom. Pain and misery ended the marriage. The divorce settlement was enough for her to possess a beautiful home, property, assets to last a lifetime. Right?
Wrong. The money went up her nose.
Her back problem couldn’t be addressed without a small fortune. That was gone.
So great was her legendary beauty, there were still men who came and went--each time breaking of a part of her and leaving with assets.
You see where it’s going--I know I did.
She lost her home and property and friends, one awful decision at a time.
She turned to her mother--her old ‘competitor-in-chief’ for money and pity, but soon exhausted what little remained.See what a bright and wonderful reunion we had?
It was my turn.
I was disabused of any thought at all that MY life had been anything but lollipops and sparkling Unicorns by then. I recited a few of my standard Hollywood stories and divorces and crowed about my seven children.Finally, those two old people in the room found themselves staring into an empty teacup wondering where it all had gone.
We sat in silence for a long minute or two...just ‘being.’
______
Eventually, with our visitation at an end, we vowed to stay in touch and regather some of the old gang and have a proper reunion. I headed toward the door and she tried to follow as best she could to see me out. We hugged and I peered at her tear-brimmed blue eyes and caught a glimpse of a soul drowning in pain."So very nice to see you--let's do this again soon..."
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Step 1 : Steal a cadaver (Check!)
by Terry instep 1. steal a cadaver (check!).
i live in fort worth.
fortunately, he preceded me by half a century!.
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Terry
I love old woodcut images ...
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Grant Us Peace
by Terry ingrant us peace______i was 12 years old.a jesuit (substitute teacher) entered my 6th grade classroom and beamed a handsome smile.. 1959 and this was music class.our actual teacher was unable to attend and sent her priest instead!how very odd.. i had never beheld an actual catholic priest before that moment, never had a human being with such a beautiful expression appeared.there is a word for it: numinous.. his name : michael.
the archangel.. he seemed to open his arms to the classroom...to enfold us inside wings of a theatrical presence.. he spoke and we were instructed.the song was dona nobis pacem (grant us peace.
)his mouth opened.
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Terry
I just heard the word "numinous" used in a conversation for maybe the first time in ten years. I had to smile.
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SOUP HERB (A memory from 1980)
by Terry in(culver city, california 1980).
the tiny diner was empty - and it was a minute past noon!.
i walked into the little shop chuckling to myself, that name!
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The Secret of Life
by Terry inmy elementary school teacher, miss allen, gathered us in a circle just outside the classroom under overspreading limbs of a pecan tree.
as she spoke, we all listened intently - the expression on her face seemed to say, "this is very important.".
"sometimes life doesn't go so well and we feel afraid.
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Terry
I miss simple explanations wrapped in accessible songs and stories.
We live in a time of phony experts, gurus, talking heads, fake news,
faker fact-checkers, propagandists, and - well - who isn't??
THANKS to all for the kind reception.
I've searched the internet to try and track down what happened to old elementary school chums and it almost always is heart-breaking.
I guess I'd rather cling to the fond remembrance rather than the upshot.
As the aged Sean Connery said in a speech to an AFI award audience of industry big-shots:
"If Life is like a Play, as Shakespeare said - then all I've got to say
is: the 3rd act is SHIT."
