Hi Shauna,
I just reread your post and my experience and
background is very similar to yours. I became
a JW due to wifes' influence and family harmony,
rather than stick up for my own "independent"
thinking. When she told me to move out I was
devastated and it took over a year and serious
counseling from a professional therapist to
realize she had her "version" of "the truth"
and it was OK for me to have my "truth.
Then a JW friend said search the net for information.
WOW. What a relief!!!! I realize that I never
again will have "the truth" but will enjoy the
life long search for it and really enjoy the love
of new friends and the help they provide.
May my surplus cover your deficiency and your
surplus bail me out when down. The greatest command
is Love but it takes courage, courage and more
courage to stick ones neck out but as you are
finding out the reward is worth it.
battman