dear cofty...
God created you with an everlasting spirit (genesis 2:7)
...He sent man out of the garden (His act of confining all under sin/disobedience romans 3:9). He set a point, edge, or line beyond which man cannot or may not proceed without being born of the Holy Spirit (genesis 3:24)...your everlasting spirit will reside with those everlasting spirits of satan and his angels if you aren't born of the Holy Spirit.(john 3:3)
God created animals for us to tend and enjoy...it was man's downfall that led to the need for the sacrificial offerings that were portrayed in the OT. God's judgement necessitated a life for a life and because His creation...man...is more important and valuable to Him, He chose an animal life as a propitiation for the sins of the hebrew people...to put the life of an animal on par with the life of a human is pagan...they don't have an everlasting spirit...their flesh goes down to the dust. (ecclesiastes 3:18-21)
many of the wars portrayed in the bible between the hebrew people and the nations illustrate Gods overwhelming desire for His people to be spiritually "clean"...without influence from foreign "forces"...this is also why marrying foreign wives was strongly discouraged (1 kings 11:1-3)...the false ideas of foreign "forces" were kept from (wholesale) infiltration into the worship of God so that there would be a pattern for future generation to look back on...a foundation on which to draw parallels and see where "the faith" came from and more importantly progressed from the shedding of the blood of bulls (for the flesh) to the shedding of the blood of Jesus Christ for the redemption of body and spirit.(1 peter 1:2; hebrews 9:11-15)
if you can't see/hear the genuine love of God in the above biblical references there is nothing more that I can say to help you see/hear, though I continue to pray that the "forces" between you and a revelation of God's love would be broken through.
love michelle