"...and that Smurf doll GOT UP AND WALKED OUT OF THE KINGDOM HALL ON IT'S OWN!!!"
mike.
"Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
Posts by Bendrr
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26Caption Contest
by Yerusalyim in"what the hell is a watchtower, what the hell are publishers, where are you getting all this bullshit?".
st paul.
yerusalyim.
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2
An Afternoon Off!
by Bendrr ini took this afternoon off.
over the nice lunch i treated myself to, i thought about how normal it seems to work six days a week and then get bored on the one day off i do have.. does anyone else feel like being in the empire with the added "jobs" of field service, meetings, and study condition you to fill every moment possible?.
especially when you leave, you suddenly have what seems like so much time on your hands.
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Bendrr
I took this afternoon off. Over the nice lunch I treated myself to, I thought about how normal it seems to work six days a week and then get bored on the one day off I do have.
Does anyone else feel like being in the Empire with the added "jobs" of field service, meetings, and study condition you to fill every moment possible?
Especially when you leave, you suddenly have what seems like so much time on your hands. For me, work was the choice to fill it. At my job, we are open from 7:30 to 6 m-f and 7:30-4 on sat and it is perfectly acceptable for a technician to work all six days. But the manager and the owners will many times come tell me that I shouldn't work six days EVERY week, "why don't you take a day off to rest?"
Well, that's why we are closed on Sundays. I'm used to it, been doing it so long.
I guess if you can come away with one good bit of training from The Empire, it is that you can handle putting in long hours.
But I am enjoying a quiet afternoon off with a few cold brews and air conditioning. (been really hot this week)
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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14
Umm just a favor--sex sins ?'s
by VeniceIT inhi gang!!
i would like to ask a favor.
someone in yahoo chat wants a rundown of all the wts sex sins.
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Bendrr
Let's see if I can remember the regulation....
I. "Permissible sexual relations" shall be defined as following:
The biological act of intercourse for the purpose of procreation performed in the manner and environment as proscribed in the following subsections.
1. Room lights shall be off and ambient light shall be at a low enough level as to permit navigation of the room but not sufficient to allow either spouse to clearly view the other spouse in an undressed and/or aroused state.
a. As used in this subsection, ambient light is defined as any light source not within the four walls of the room in which the act is performed and including but not limited to lighting sources outside the house, indoor lights in another part of the house which may affect the visibility within the room in which the act is performed, and candles.
ADDENDUM TO PARAGRAPH a.
Candles are not permitted.
2. Any state of dress which permits intercourse shall be acceptable except that which may be deemed unacceptable.
a. Unacceptable states of dress include but are not limited to the wearing of the traditional garb of the opposite gender, lingerie, any edible garments, any metallic objects including but not limited to handcuffs or leg irons, any garments which may cause the wearer to appear more appealing in a lascivious manner, and any garments made of latex that would not be worn outside of the home.
b. Nudity, defined for this section as a complete lack of clothing or a partial lack of clothing which exposes the body either above or below the waist shall be acceptable only when the lighting conditions of section 1 are met.
3. Sexual relations, or intercourse, for this section is defined as and limited to the insertion and back and forth motion of the penis within the vagina. Any other use of these organs is prohibited.
a. For the purposes of this section, "any other use" shall include but not be limited to insertion and movement of the penis within any other orifice other than the vagina, insertion and movement of anything other than the penis in the vagina.
b. Use of the penis and vagina for urination is excluded from the above prohibition, provided the urination does not occur during sexual relations and does not occur for the purpose of sexual arousal.
c. Use of any body part to stimulate the sexual organs other than the sexual organs of the spouse is prohibited under this code section including the exposure of body parts for visual stimulation (see section 1)
d. The acceptable position of spouses shall be defined as both spouses in a horizontal position or near horizontal, not to exceed 20 degrees from horizontal with the husband on top.yawn.
mike.
"Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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16
Some Things in Life Are Bad - Monty Python
by LadyBug inand ... always look on the bright side of life.
always look on the bright side of life.
always look on the bright side of life.
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Bendrr
MP & the Holy Grail is one of the best comedies there is! Rivals "Airplane!" since the humor is a little more intelligent.
"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"
"What do you burn apart from witches? MORE WITCHES!!!"
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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30
Who was the strangest JW you ever met?
by Preston ini knew a presiding overseer in the congregation i attened who was possibly the strangest person i ever met.
he took a rigorous position toward the society's view on everything!!!
he was against many things ....including....science fiction, fantasy, the x-files, disneyland, cartoons and football.
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Bendrr
Well, I always thought I was the weirdest person I ever met.
Let's see....
My great-great-uncle Oliver. Now in his 90's and never married and as far as anyone knows also a virgin. When I was still in, he was in his 70's and hitting on teenage sisters at the conventions. Perfectly acceptable really since in Georgia, 16 is legal to marry and think about how things were in his day anyway. Glad I learned to always stay within sight distance of the old coot at conventions, I got some phone numbers that way.
He never really took to the new donation arrangement. He had 25 cents per magazine firmly fixed in his head. Told the householders the magazines were free to read but he contributed 25 cents each for them and if they'd like to give a quarter apiece it would cover the cost of printing.
They all did, hey he was an old man out in the heat.
He lived in a trailer that to my knowledge no witness had ever seen the inside of. His niece, my great-aunt Merle lived behind him and when he drove her to meetings he made her ride in the back seat.
Wouldn't eat anything with sugar. When he went to Hardee's for his morning coffee, he would hand them his mason jar 3/4 full of hot water to put just enough coffee in to taste then he would top it off with creamer.
When he opened the Service Meeting, during the song he would sing right into the microphone and once the song was over he managed to avoid the mic totally when giving announcements. I can remember being a mic handler during the WT study and when he gave comments, he would grab the mic to talk, but never quite managed to get it close enough to be heard. It was always a wrestling match that everyone got a good laugh out of.
His top speed in town and the highways was 35. On the Interstate, he pushed it to a blistering 45. (I passed him at over 100 once, boy did he go off on that!)
Bless his heart, now he has Alzheimer's.
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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130
America Bashing
by TR inwith all of the america bashing going on of late, i thought i'd mention the fact that america stands for freedom, as flawed as our system may be.
you're even free to be critical of the government and it's leaders.
the many men and women who have died defending this country did so to preserve the rights even of people who hate the u.s. there are many different cultures here, so there are many different attempts at creating laws for the land.
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Bendrr
High five, Slayer!
Those who would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither!
When we lose the second ammendment, look for the rest of the constitution to go into the shredder very quickly.
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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Re : Did you help build a KH ????
by ladonna ini don't know about the rest of you but i was one of the stupid ones lugging bricks around and cleaning them up for the jw's shortly before i left.. how many others here have done the same???.
how many of us have at one time been construction workers for the borg???.
esther...you set my brain working on this one with your thread .
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Bendrr
I was waiting for you to say that, Chris. Very funny, but true.
Go for the chicks? Hell yeah!
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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Re : Did you help build a KH ????
by ladonna ini don't know about the rest of you but i was one of the stupid ones lugging bricks around and cleaning them up for the jw's shortly before i left.. how many others here have done the same???.
how many of us have at one time been construction workers for the borg???.
esther...you set my brain working on this one with your thread .
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Bendrr
I was waiting for you to say that, Chris. Very funny, but true.
Go for the chicks? Hell yeah!
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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Richard Scarry's Best Field Service Story--EVER
by LDH inok so pardon me for the take off on richard scarry--he really is one of my favorite all time children's authors.. but i had to share this field service story with you--it's the gospel truth!
hopefully, you can add some of yours.. while pioneering in upstate ny, my sister and i had frequent occasions to work in service with a married pioneer couple.
yes, they were window washers, but that's not the real story here.. they had a return visit on an elderly gentleman who was kind enough to take the magazines every once in a while.
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Bendrr
Love the almonds story. Yerusalyim, I never had anyone answer the door naked, but when in high school had plenty of my female classmates answer the door wearing very little. Field service wasn't ALL bad!
We had one sister many years ago who knocked on the door of a "shot house". (A house that sells alcohol on Sunday and usually also has gambling)
She ended up sitting down at the table and playing a few hands of cards while witnessing. Hey whatever works!
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!
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What Will Occur In 2012 When Mayan Calender Ends?
by Big Jim inwhat will occur in 2012 when the mayan calendar ends?
when people say the mayan calendar ends in 2012, they're referring to the end of one 5125-year cycle that began in 3114 b.c.
this cycle ends on december 21, 2012 (although some peg the date as the 22nd), marking the end of the mayan cyclical calendar.
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Bendrr
The Y2K crash will come 12 years late, since COBOL programmers all used the Mayan calender anyway but since they enjoyed the job security of the pre-2000 panic they just kept quiet about it.
Microsoft Windows and AOL, also secretly based on the Mayan calender, will also permanently expire, as will Al Gore's microchip. Some people will miss AOL and Windows.
Ronald Reagan's second coming will occur soon thereafter, ushering in a new era of peace and low taxes and renewed popularity for conservative Republicans and complete destruction of commies forever.
I'll be 41 and dating the Olsen Twins.
mike."Well done, Blind Squirrel! You've found an impressive nut!