Victor

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Posts by Victor

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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

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  Victor

  Finkelstein you are spot on
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
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  Victor

  For some weird reason the platform is buggy and I cannot upload part 2 of this post so I'll just combine it here.

  Approval

  As children we have a need to bond with our caregivers or parents. This bond leads to needing their approval. This basic human drive is a very powerful motivating force. I've had clients who sought this approval even from deceased parents. JW's belief system cuts off one's emotional intelligence in service of pleasing a very punitive God from the old testament. This fear is drilled into the JW's at every opportunity to exercise control and loyalty to the elders.

  A healthy goal of recovery is to gain self approval. No one can ever control us other than what we surrender. When we learn to be comfortable in our skin and approve of our actions, we rise above the tyranny from being approval addicts.

  VE
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  truth_be_known, the brain will focus on the path we chart. The negative bias is always at work in the back ground and it will remind us of past painful memories to avoid in the future. Time diminishes the strong pull to the past because the way memories are coded become fuzzy and in black and white. Mindfulness will greatly help anyone to live the present fully aware.

  VE
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  EX JW's 12 Steps- Step 3

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  we decided to turn our will and our life over to the care of god or our higher power.

  while some turn to religiosity, in my experience most turn to common sense or self determination.

  the construct of a higher power presupposes that there is a force outside of ourselves that has always watched over us and will guide us the mere asking.

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  Victor

  We decided to turn our will and our life over to the care of God or our higher power.

  While some turn to religiosity, in my experience most turn to common sense or self determination. The construct of a higher power presupposes that there is a force outside of ourselves that has always watched over us and will guide us the mere asking. For many, this is a new age abstract belief that is hard to wrap one's mind around. Leaving JW's follows a similar path of full and complete recovery from any addiction. Step 1. Denial, Step 2. Thinking of leaving, 3. Leaving , Step 4. Going back or longing to be back 5. Healing some more to stay one's path.
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  6

  EX JW 12 Steps: Step 1

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  step 1. we admitted we were powerless under a tyrannical man made mindset to which we surrendered our power and self determination.

  our self honesty and need to rescue our sanity led us to fade, walk away, or disfellowship our slave masters.

  jehovah's witnesses are nothing more than a business enterprise set up by, c.t.

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  Victor

  @ Longhairgal it’s voluntary sacrifice to a theology created by societal outcasts. I’m glad to know you never gave up your common sense.
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  14

  What happens to bethel members who get sick?

  by JimmyYoung in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i am sure if you are at bethel and have the flu you just get time or what ever to recover, but what about serious sickness.

  say you get cancer or some possible terminal illness?

  what happens?.

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  Victor

  You are sent home at your family's expense or put out on the street. You are no longer useful and are considered a net loss.
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  @Jehalapeno thanks
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  8

  Exiting the JW's and its aftermath

  by Victor in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions.

  parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish.

  the jw's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Victor

  Guilt

  As human beings we are capable of experiencing around 750 emotions. Parents use fear, guilt and shame to control their children to behave and do as they wish. The JW's are masters at using the same 3 emotions to keep their members in check. This is so pervasive that some return after exiting due to emotional turmoil.

  Guilt is a useful emotion to avoid making the same mistake however, guilt serves no purpose in reliving the past and second guessing ourselves about the decisions we made. What one needs to do is accept that when we were faced with the choice point, at that moment we did the best we could. 2020 hindsight always gives us different options we could have chosen but, we lack the power of foresight. Self compassion is needed for our younger selves.

  Leaving JW's means cutting off family, business, and friendship ties. This will lead to future painful and awkward situations when one has to have contact with these during transactional situations.

  The human brain has a negative bias that has helped us survive. It is this mechanism at play when we suffer from such cutting off of family ties. For one negative conclusion four positive are needed to balance the emotional scales. For example: loyal JW's cannot attend a celebration of a milestone for ex JW's or their children, invite others who will be happy to join in and be happy for the special occasion. Remind oneself that mental and emotional freedom has a price; focus on the new life and the freedom and happiness outside of JW's. Imagine a future filled with happiness rather than pain. Feel proud of breaking the cycle of mind control and manipulation that leads nowhere but indentured servitude.

  Focusing only on what could have been is a form of self punishment. Refuse to accept self torture as the currency for exiting.

  In one research study, participants where asked what advise one would give to a younger self. The overwhelming answer was have self compassion. Don't wait till you are old give it to yourself everyday.

  VE
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  50

  King David's Three Choices

  by Jehalapeno in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  editor's note: found this on reddit...thought the meat of the post would be a good post for discussion here as well.. consider the three choices god forced upon david for taking a census.

  these three choices were forced on king david, not for murdering people, not for raping women, not for lying, stealing, or any crime we can think of in our modern world that is repugnant, but simply for taking a census or in other words, counting people.. for counting people, jehovah forced a decision on david that involved the lives of thousands upon thousands of innocent people.. the choices all dealt with the “way” jehovah would kill thousands of unsuspecting loyal worshipers.. 1 chronicles 21.

  “these are the choices the lord has given you.

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  Victor

  Jehalapeno remember the context. You had to create a book filled with fear to keep the minions from straying or thinking for themselves. All primitive religions had this in common, scare the s....t out of anyone not obeying what the leaders said was truth. No different than Alice in Wonderland lol.

  VE
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  26

  Ex JW of 30 years , still messed up from it

  by Doubledecker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi , this is my first post .. i left jws 30 years ago as 18 year old unbaptised youth and after the initial fallout from leaving pretty much put the whole thing in a box and buried it .. however , i am now starting to realise how much the doomsday messages and the ‘them and us’ doctrines that’s fed to you from birth has remained in my core beliefs.. how have others managed to reprogram themselves ?.

  thanks for reading , have a good day .

  dd.

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  Victor

  Get some professional help. The cost is an investment in yourself and future happiness