Posts by MM090503

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

Hey Everyone,

Things are fine. We are continuing with the Alpah Course. I am persuading my bf to move out of the farm and hopefully he will. I think he may also stop the JW thing for now because he is starting to get confused with both religions, so I have asked him to stop going until we finish the course.

People there have been really awsome to us both. Even though my bf has not revealed that he is studying with the Jw, which bothers me a little. I figure he has to do it in his own time. But I will keep you all posted on how it goes.

MM

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

Sadly getting him to read a book is hard. He doesn't have time (since he is a farmer he works literally sun up to sun down and then some) plus he really doesn't read. I tried to get him to read a 100pg easy book called "More than just a carpenter". It was a very good book about who Jesus was. I couldn't even get him to read that. I would like to read it but none of the bookstores seem to offer that book or libraries for that matter. Unfortuently my reading has been put on hold because of school, I have way too much reading to do as it is :(. Thanks for the idea anyways though!

I had a pretty good idea I think. I am going to have my friends, family memembers, and his friends write encouraging letters to him. The letters do not have to have anything about religion in them. I just want to show him there are good people who are not JWs who REALLY care for him. The alpha course has a retreat day halfway through and after that day is over Im going to give him the letters. So we will see how that goes.

Again I apperciate EVERYONE on this board. You guys have been so great and helpful to me.

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

LL-

The Alpah course is Awesome! I'm having a really good time. It is very informational, the videos are great and so are the people. I think it at least gives my bf some things to think about. He's still a little shy when it comes to talking in the groups but its getting better. I'm so glad jgnat suggested this course, even if he doesn't get anything out of it I am. So I just keep praying God's going to really strike him in the head sometime here and he'll wake up or something, but the emotional thing is what i'm going on now.

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

Thank you Lady Lee,

I think I have found a way to start reaching him. Tonight, after the Alpha course we started disscusing things on our way home. We began to get into the bible arguements again. Finally I told him I didn't want to argue the bible. I told him thats God's job not mine. So I began discussing stuff more from the heart. I told him he has so many people around him that love him and care for him and they are all worried. I told him God's calling out to him and it's up to him wether or not he listens. I went on from there just speaking to him from my heart instead of throwing things at him about the JW's or the bible. It seems to reach him a lot better. He'll listen instead of refuting. I think i gave him some food for thought tonite. Anyways thats just a little update.

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

Thank you for that Info. I tried getting him with a question about paradise, but it didn't work. We ended up getting really upset with each other. I even called him a a$$hole, which I've never called him a name before. I felt pretty bad about it. We talked and he still wants to continue the Alpha Courses though.

I got a chance to talk to some of his friends last night. They all agree with me on the Religion thing and they are very worried about him also. It's so crazy, he talks out of both sides of his mouth. I really can't see him becoming a Jovoy, he totall does not act the part at all. If his dad were to find out what we did he would surely be disfellowedship before he even becomes one.

Love really does make you do crazy things though. So I guess I'm going to stick this out as long as possible for him and I. Thank you all for your help. I've read so much already and I'm still learning.

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

So I talked to my bf last night. I told him anything we do from here out has to be his decisions. I can't make them and he agreed with me and so far he said he hasn't done anything he hasn't wanted to do. For the last month he has not been to the Sun. meetings because it was when him and I had decided to start exploring religion and so on. He did make a comment saying he was probably going this Sun and I told him to watch out 'cause he'll get loved bomed.

I did make a suggestion to him that for awhile instead of going to the Tues night book study for him and I to start reading the bible together, but itself and nothing else He is going to think about this and let me know. Does anyone have an good ideas on where to start reading the bible where it would be most beneficial?

I also told him about this Post board and how I have been reading the stories about the XJWs and he does want to read this stuff. A while back I gave him info on the false prophecies the Watchtower claimed and he told me they were lies what I had found on the net. He feels there is only so much research I can do, then I have to go to a real person and ask. I keep telling him stuff but all he does is ask his dad and comes back with some kind of reason, how can I show him there is not a good enough reason for some of this stuff?

I am also getting very anxious for this Alpah Course on Sun. I hoping this is truly the answer I have been praying for. I am truly at my wits end for some reason this week has been really hard for me. I've cried literally everyday this week. One thing that makes this hard is I can't just pick up the phone and call him-he's a farmer so he literally works sun up to sun down, plus we have a long distance relationship, its about a 50min drive too. So all these things add up. We see eachother once a week on Sun when neither of us work so if you get my drift

Sorry I hope you guys don't mind my venting it makes me feel a little better. Thanks

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

I want to thank everyone who is giving me advice. It really does help to know there are people out there who understand what I am going through. I have people to talk to here, but that don't exactly understand because they've never been in this situation before.

Before I thought there was a possiblity it would all work itself out and this is what I get for ignoring the situation.

The week before Easter this year, I did attend what they called "Jesus' Memorial". I have to admit everyone there was very friendly with me, but I understand what that was all about now. My bf lives with his dad at the moment (long story). His dad is the one influencing the religion on him. I tried to tell my bf that if this is such a good religion why won't his dad get to know me and his reply is because of the religion and because I'm seen as a "bad associate".

The only reason I'm sticking with all of this is because my bf is willing to do try anything if it means him and I can be together. He is not a baptized JW. He has only been "studying" for about ten months now, which is way to much as it is. There is no other family memeber of his that is a JW. It's strictly his dad and as I have realized they caught his dad in a lowpoint in his life-right after a bad divorce so that is how his dad got suckered into this stuff. My bf is 25 and very influential because him and his dad never really had a relationship before. In fact when we started dating, he told me he was afraid of his dad and now with the religion between them, they have a better relationship. Which is also why I think my bf feels he needs to stick with the JW because of the relationship but he won't admit it.

You don't have to worry about me getting into marriage or ignoring anything anymore. Or getting pregnant- we haven't had sex, right from the beginning we decided we wanted to wait and it was our own personal choice not religion. - But thanks for the warnings!

MM

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

My bf has agreed to go to the Alpha Course with me.

I have a question though: Is it right of me to ask my bf to stop all the activities (Book Study and meetings) he does with the witnesses while we take the course? I dont' want him to become unhappy, but in a way I feel that he cannot focus on christianity if he is being told one thing then doing another with the witnesses. This week has been very depressing for me because I'm so confused. i have decided that after we do the alpha course and he still feels the same way him and i are done.

thanks mm

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

Thank you so much jgnat. I found an alpha program near me that starts this Sun. I have yet to talk to my bf. but I'm sure he will. He has told me he is willing to try anything with me. This has been an answer to my prayers. I was trying to figure out the next step for us and I think this will be perfect. I will keep everyone updated on how this goes. I really apperciate the advice and support.

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

MM090503

I am new to this JW thing. I am currently invovled in a similar situation. My bf and I have been together for a little over a year now. When we started dating he told me nothing about the JW. Then about 3 months in he told me his dad was one. When he explained it to me, my bf really didn't have anything to do with the JW.

Then recently this year he told me he started going to "book study" last year. And he has also started going to meetings. This has put a great strain on our relationship. I am a Catholic and very proud of my beliefs. My bf and I are trying to explore religion. I feel he needs to find out the truth about the JWs. I have tried to show him or turn him on to the real Christainity but he refueses to believe it because he says the JWs back everything up from the bible. In truth though it gets very twisted.

Both of us have consitered moving on, but cannot until we know for sure that we cannot work. With all these posts I read I feel I do need to end it. But since he is not offically a JW I feel there still may be help. Do

Does anyone have any idea how to help a person who is considering becoming one and trying to get them out of the organization before its too late?

This has caused much grief in my life, but I cannot just let him go. I would definitely discourage anyone who is starting a relationship wiht a JW not to do it. It's too painful and a lot of things are easier said than done.