Konagirl , I am sorry for your loss and I hope that you are coping better now.
For some people I think that to “keep calm and carry on “ is a grief coping mechanism. A sister I knew when we lived away lost her husband in an accident. It was noticeable how she seemed to just carry on as normal, smiling and chatting.... at meetings of course.
I met a woman in “the ministry “ once who had evidently been a regular call for someone. She said she had now been put off JWs because this sister called one day and calmly said her own son had been killed that morning,on his bike , but that it was all o k because she knew she would see him again in the resurrection........
This woman sad she was shocked and could not understand how anyone could be so blasé about such a thing. I agreed with her and said the poor sister must have been hit by it later but I did not understand either.. I do think that some people need to cling onto routines and strong beliefs at times of tragedy....