Welcome to the board.
I faded away over the course of several years. It was long and painstaking. My wife and other family members are hardcore believers. I went for a long time and maintained my congregational duties in order to keep friction between myself and family down. I was especially worried that my wife would take our children and leave me.
I was becoming so unhappy about my situation that it became worth it to fade away fully and take the consequences. I couldn't bear to be miserable any longer and knew I had to be more open to my children about the WTS in order to help them not get sucked into the dubs.
My wife freaked out. Each fading step I took made her angrier and angrier. At the end when I was completely done and not going to meetings or service - ever again she calmed down and we've had this sort of non-discussed peace agreement. I don't bash her religion and she doesn't bother me about how I feel, and she doesn't rat me out to the elders for anything I do.
The thought of losing my children crippled my decision making process for a long time. In my case it has worked out and I've maintained my marriage and am able to help influence my children in the life course decisions. Even my wife isn't as zealous anymore and more goes through the motions than anything else.
Hang in there and keep up hope. In the end you need to remember that you are a human being and you deserve to be happy too. Sometimes we need to learn to be happy even if we're alone. I hope everything works out for you. Posting here may be a real help to you.
