Posts by TheListener

73

Alot has Changed and I'm going BACK

by Butterflyleia85 in

jw
friends

i bet people has forgotten me but thats ok because i know they have helped me a lot on here.. .

anyways i think the last time i been on here i mentioned my jw sister not going to my wedding.

for those that do remember my story, the wedding was beautiful on the beach in key west, fl!

TheListener

Good luck butterflyleia85. I wish you all the best, and remember, you are always welcome here.

10

Just Saw "Inception", what do you think of the ending?

by StAnn in

spoiler alert!

if you haven't seen the movie, don't read this thread.

.

Why couldn't his Father in law meet him in LA? They spent a while preparing the job. His FIL would have had a ton of time to fly to LA to be with his wife (the kids grandma who hung up early in the movie).

There were a few things that tell me he was in reality at the end:

1. in dreams he always wore his wedding ring but in real life he didn't. at the end he didn't wear the ring.

2. the kids were older in the end (yes, wearing similar clothes) but in the credits there are two sets of children actors and their ages are given as about 3 years apart.

3. I read a couple of the actors interviews and they said it was their understanding of the film that it was as portrayed and not a gimmicky "all a dream" type of thing. One actor in particular said that the director (Nolan) didn't want to cheapen the film or the audiences experience by making it all a dream but wanted people to think and feel something at the end.

On the other hand:

1. Once DiCaprio told Ellen Page the secret of his spinning top (remember Joseph Gordon-Levitt wouldn't even let her touch his loaded die) I think he could have given her the power to make him think a dream was reality.

2. I read somewhere that Ellen Page may have been a psychiatrist trying to get the truth about DiCaprio's deceased wife and/or to help DiCaprio deal with her loss and move on. She always seemed to be pushing him to discuss his wife and his emotions and circumstances surrounding her.

Anyway I loved the movie; the action and drama and comraderie and the music.

17

attendance/baptisms ratio

by Dold Agenda in

jw
friends

in sweden we are now checking the attendance/baptisms ratio at some conventions by simply divide the number of baptisms to the attendance number.. far ago in the 70-ies it was like 5% before 1975. last year we was around 0,55%.

(quite like the italy in fact ).

this year we have counted only 2 conventions this far.

TheListener

The DC I know about had a .5% baptism rate. USA.

5

Pioneer Assist Others Program End

by garlic81 in

jw
friends

i wonder if the pioneer assist others program being discontinued in august 2010 is one of the first service department changes, that has been implemented since theodore jaracz passed away?.

i wonder if they will also be considering the requirement for pioneer hours in hopes of getting more individuals to sign up to pioneer?.

TheListener

Wow, that program may officially die in 2010 but in actuality (except for the diehard few) I think it died 6 months after it was announced.

91

Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know

by flipper in

jw
friends

considering the fact we've had so many newbies here i thought it would be good to just open it up to you folks to see how life is going for you since you exited the witnesses ?

it's hard many times to move on- however with lots of ex-witnesses on the board here who have been through similar experiences - perhaps those of us who have been out awhile can give you someideas on how to move on in your post jw life to make it a little easier .

so fire away newbies and recently exited jw 's.

TheListener

I wanted to comment on other's posts but I seem to be in a seriously selfish mood and can only think about my own problems and issues.

Leaving the Witnesses was the best thing I could have done. Living with a Witness spouse and kids doesn't make it easy.

But, I hope that my experience can help someone else who may be going through similar things or about to start the journey.

I always knew as I began the fade that I needed to love and support my wife throughout the process. I mentally understood it but I don't think I actually came through and did it. I knew that her foundation in life was the WTS with her family and husband a part of it. When I began to doubt and research she felt her foundation shifting and cracking. She responded accordingly. I KNEW that I had to provide a new foundation for her to step onto. In the beginning before my fade was inevitable and even old news I had my chance to provide her a new foundation that she could be safe and sound with. I didn't.

A complaint my wife has always had with me is that I am not caring or considerate enough. I don't actually believe this is true, but it is her perception. I needed to work with that and make positive changes that she could see and grab onto. I didn't do that. I remained the same person out of the truth as I was in the truth. For some spouses that's enough; it's great even to see their once witness spouse leave the truth but remain a decent human being. It goes against a lot of what they are taught. For my wife, though, it wasn't enough. I truly feel that in order for her see what I see in the truth she would need to be much more comfortable with me as a person.

It sounds odd because if something is illogical or wrong it shouldn't matter who presents it. Wrong is wrong. But, when someone is committed or tied emotionally to a belief system they need emotions to bring them out. Actually, an old poster from this board (Winston Smith) once said that a person will leave the truth through the same door they came in. I believe on that account I failed my wife. I knew what to do and didn't do it. Her tie is emotional not logical; I appealed to logic but failed to appeal to her emotions.

I love my wife. She loves me. We are frustrated with each other and the anger from that frustration lurks just beneath the surface. I don't know if it's possible to reset and try all over to provide her with the emotional foundation that she needs or if her view of me is just too damaged. I have been posting here for a long time but haven't been active with posting much in recent years. I think I fell under the illusion that just loving my wife was enough and that time alone would bring about her eventual fade from the truth. I don't think that will work. The seeds I planted landed on good soil but didn't take route because I failed to provide the needed nurishment. It's time for me to begin again. I am going to strive to appeal to her want/desire for an emotional foundation with me included to help her see the light of the truth.

Why not leave well enough alone? Because, I know my wife very well and she is not truly happy. She suffers from all the typical ailments that most witnesses have. She feels the stress on our marriage because of religious differences. AND my children; I do not wish my children to grow up as witnesses. I would also like them to grow up in a religiously unified home - if possible. I have no illusion that this will be easy. If it was easy I would probably have done it long ago. I am not even sure it will work. I have the right basis though. I do love my wife and want only the best for her. I am not trying to fool her or trick her. I want her to see in my actions how I feel in my heart. Yes, I get frustrated and angry inside (which does show on the outside) when she involves the kids in Witness things or gets overly Witnessy herself. It is my sincere hope that by better managing my emotions, showing my wife how I feel inside more consistently and regularly in ways that she sees, feels and understands that she will gain respect for me and once again see me as part of her foundation.

14

Demons and Their Children

by Darth plaugeis in

on the urban myth post someone mentioned a story how the demons hated jah's children in the truth, because jah killed the demons children during the flood.

i have heard that story about the flood, and the nephilim, millions of times and never made a connection that god actually destroyed the fallen angel's offspring.

the nephilim were always portrayed as monsters and evil, but who really knows.. interesting point.

TheListener

I thought it was the lioness that hunted and the lion just slept and ate?

108

Fight with wife over watching Avatar escalates to near-separation--true story

by sd-7 in

jw
friends

it's true because it happened to me last night.

i knew it was trouble when she started looking at my kindle.

once she got to the short stories i wrote 3 years ago, autobiographical, some of it involving her, i knew i wouldn't be going to bed before 1:00 (it was 11:40 p.m. by then).

TheListener

I'm passive aggressive and it ain't pretty.

She locks the bedroom door at night? That's not cool. What if you just wanted to stand over her and stare at her while she slept?

It feels easier to stay and stick it out and blame yourself for what's wrong. It feels easier but is isn't. You need to get a professional counselor to talk to so you can get this stuff off your chest and get some seriously professional advice.

Always feel free to vent here.

91

Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know

by flipper in

jw
friends

considering the fact we've had so many newbies here i thought it would be good to just open it up to you folks to see how life is going for you since you exited the witnesses ?

it's hard many times to move on- however with lots of ex-witnesses on the board here who have been through similar experiences - perhaps those of us who have been out awhile can give you someideas on how to move on in your post jw life to make it a little easier .

so fire away newbies and recently exited jw 's.

TheListener

I would just like to say that reading everyone's posts is very encouraging. It's so great to know that I'm not alone in my situation.

It's so easy to get a "poor me" syndrome and lose sight of all the others who are undergoing something similar. There is strength in numbers, even if we only know each other through this website.

91

Newly Exiting JW's ( Last 5 years ) How are you Doing in Life? Let Us Know

by flipper in

jw
friends

considering the fact we've had so many newbies here i thought it would be good to just open it up to you folks to see how life is going for you since you exited the witnesses ?

it's hard many times to move on- however with lots of ex-witnesses on the board here who have been through similar experiences - perhaps those of us who have been out awhile can give you someideas on how to move on in your post jw life to make it a little easier .

so fire away newbies and recently exited jw 's.

TheListener

I had a good JW life. Everything was just fine... then I realized it wasn't what I thought all along. I woke up rather quickly but faded for a very long time. I went to my last meeting and DC in 2005.

I am very happy now. I enjoy reading and studying my Bible and spending time doing things that I enjoy. It's great to have hobbies and not feel guilty about them.

However, my marriage has taken a direct hit. We seem to be more roommates than marriage mates. We discuss nothing spiritual (ok once in great while I use a biblical analogy or say something that I've learned).

We seem to have come to an unspoken agreement on how to deal with my not being a witness and her remaining one. But, now the kids are getting older and they continue to muddle up the demilitarized zone that we've set up. So far the kids have been left to make their own choice about their witness-ness. They are supported by us regardless of their choices but it still puts quite a strain on the family.

A point for others in a similar situation or someone who may be in this situation one day:

A mate who is super zealous is easier to stand against than one who is luke warm to the truth but stubborn in their belief. The lukewarm spouse gives in just enough to make you excited and not want to push more so as not to rock the cart. However, they are stubborn and will only bend so far thus giving the unbelieving mate false hope again and again. Picture the monkey grabbing for the nut only to get shocked again and again - never learning his lesson. As the unbelieving mate you feel like if you push your unbelieving agenda with yourself and with the kids - the believing wife will suddenly move into action and belief war will have begun.

hmmm.... just my thoughts.

36

Finally got CoC!!.....Not really what I had expected.

by JediMaster in

ok, so i finally picked up coc from my local library last night.

and started reading it like crazy.

i think i read about 70 pages which brought me close to the end of the second chapter: "governing body".

TheListener

I really enjoyed CoC. I also enjoyed ISoCF.

Having an extensive Wt library but not being a scholar Ray's books (and this website) helped me see how the WT society has contradicted itself and changed the light many times.

It was definitely a case of "I've always felt that way but didn't know how to express it" as I read the book.