Hi SW. I am really glad you lurked and finally posted. I am really sorry about your situation. There has been so many good pieces of advice on this thread, please if you have time read it over several times. I completely understand how sick and stressed this is making you - it's probably all you think about almost every second of the day! Believe me, and the others here, it will get better! There will be a day when the dust has settled one way or another and you will be able to get on with your life (and your daughter's).
When I faded my wife did not rat me out or turn me in. She knew I was doubting and researching but she never told anyone anything. During my fade I had to meet with the elders once. I lied through my teeth telling them I believed everything but that I was really stressed and having a hard time raising my kids and caring for my family responsibilities. I was doing my best and would continue to do so. After that first meeting if they asked to meet with me again I just repeated how I was stressed and doing my best and that I would definitely let them know when if I needed to talk with them for encouragement.
Meanwhile I reduced my duties at the KH, stepped aside and showed up less and less over the period of a couple years. I took the word slow fade to an extreme but it worked and I maintained my marriage, no DF, and all my kids are free.
I guess I just wanted you to know that we are here and understand. While we can't help you deal with the day to day issues you face (minute to minute probably) we can be a place for you to vent and heal.
If you meet with them lie through your teeth and don't give them any idea that you are doubting/apostate. Just tell them how stressed you are and how difficult this system is. I was careful to never ever tell anyone what I thought about the organization and the beliefs, not even my kids, I helped them escape without revealing all my opinions.
I really do wish you the best of luck.