Posts by TheListener

150

I'm getting baptized

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

i know i've started similar topics before but this time i'm serious.

my parents have been constantly pressuring me and after yesterday's watchtower study they asked me if i was going to be baptized this summer... and i said yes.

i probably should have thought about it more before making a final decision, but they're pretty much forcing me to do it anyway.

TheListener

Kiddingme, thanks for spending your time posting that. I will read it over and see if I have any worthwhile advice.

150

I'm getting baptized

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

i know i've started similar topics before but this time i'm serious.

my parents have been constantly pressuring me and after yesterday's watchtower study they asked me if i was going to be baptized this summer... and i said yes.

i probably should have thought about it more before making a final decision, but they're pretty much forcing me to do it anyway.

Blackwolf, I have been thinking a lot about your situation. I don't have any additional good advice from the others here but I wanted to say that your situation is exactly what I wanted to avoid with my kids and why when I faded I tried so hard to free them at the same time. I never wanted them to have to live a double life and fear my abandonment.

I wish you the best of luck.

24

Helping my family see the truth about 'the truth'

by Stella3 in

this is my first time joining a forum like this.

i grew up in the jw religion.

i was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally.

TheListener

Stella, there are many good comments and suggestions so far on the thread. I will add one more: visit the Best Of Section of the board. There is a lot of great information there.

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

TheListener

Volunteering with your kids is fantastic! Also, let them help you as much as possible with donating to charitable organizations. Even young ones can help gather goods/clothes from the house and put it in bags and take it to a shelter or drop off point. Explain how this direct type of help really matters.

I also found that exploiting conscience matter issues or issues where my wife wasn't 100% on sure footing (dub wise) - like going to the YMCA, limited after school sports or county sponsored classes and activities, The dubs aren't against all of those things but they are against the time spent with non-witnesses - which is exactly what you need for your kids. Interaction with regular kids.

13

Building 500 new kingdom halls?

by Coded Logic in

jw
friends

the wtbts has to know they aren't actually going to see their numbers significantly jump anytime soon/ever right?

are they planning on cutting the rbc down to 1/10th the work force so they can actually slow down their kh projects instead of increasing them?

or do they think their little website scheme is actually going to bring in more people?.

TheListener

I think a lot of JWs feel inadequate to second guess "mother". If the org says it's building halls then it must be happening somewhere. The typical dub would just think they don't know anyone in the area(s) where the construction is actually happening.

To find out otherwise the dub would have to actively think about it and question it - thought stopping makes sure that won't happen. So they just go on their merrily way "knowing" Kh are being built somewhere for all the new ones.

25

Raising kids in a split faith household

by rathernotsay in

jw
friends

hi guys, don't know if this is the right place to ask but id like to hear other peoples experiences with raising kids in a household with split faiths.

just for a bit of a back story, my wife and i have been married for comming up 6 years.

we have 3 kids, 2 boys aged 5 and 3 and a 8 week old girl.

TheListener

My wife is a JW and I am no longer one. We went through a couple stages with our kids.

1. We both were in and were raising them as regular dubs. Making them sit at meetings, playing witness card/board games at home, family study, family service..puke puke puke

2. I started fading and kids kept going with mom to all meetings, service and conventions. No more family study or family witness games. Very little spiritual discussion at home. Kids would spout typical Jehovah loves or hates this/that and always telling neighbor kids that God's name is Jehovah and they must all use it. Very embarrassing; probably even for a non-fading dub. I was quiet and didn't step in to counter the spiritual activities. I did rearrange my schedule, including taking a lower paying job to be home more specifically so I could develop a strong bond with the kids.

3. I developed a super strong bond with the kids by devoting my time and energy to them. My wife continued to devote most of her time and energy to the borg. Kids eventually felt (maybe saw) the difference and each stopped attending on their own at different times. A couple of the kids have even mentioned how cult-like the dubs are and they wish mom would exit. They're angry with the dubs for making mom so 'weird' and 'different from other moms'. I don't bad talk my wife, even regarding the dubs, but I do agree with the kids that the dubs are a cult.

I guess my only real advice is to do whatever you can to build a strong bond with your kids and make sure no matter what they come first. You and your wife will fight, argue, makeup and maybe even divorce one day (who knows) but you and the kids are forever. Teach them to think for themselves. I've said this before but I even let the kids buy one or two toys advertised on tv as the best thing ever (we discussed how we would feel if once it arrived it really wasn't as great as the commercial said it was)...the products stunk...the kids learned a lesson, I was out $50. From then on the kids always do research online before buying anything (this was from a fairly young age). They realize that there is no difference between researching a product and researching someone's opinion or teaching. They have become good thinkers.

I wasn't raised to show much emotion but it broke my heart and brought tears to my eyes when my oldest told me that they were all afraid that mom wouldn't love them anymore if they stopped going to meetings. I assured them mom would love them just as much and that no matter what we would be there for them. Honestly, my wife's cult personality doesn't have much use for the kids, but her real personality loves them like crazy - must cause a lot of cognitive dissonance.

Also, be prepared that everything, I mean everything, wrong that the kids do to be your fault because you're not bringing them up Jehovah's way. It's wrong thinking but the dub in your wife won't see it that way. You will have a lot of weight on your shoulders. I think it's your job to take it all on to protect your kids from feeling any of it.

24

Helping my family see the truth about 'the truth'

by Stella3 in

this is my first time joining a forum like this.

i grew up in the jw religion.

i was baptized when i was 13 and started to fade out at 16 at least mentally.

TheListener

Welcome Stella. I hope you find success with your sister and parents. There is no sure fire way to free someone but you will get support and advice on this forum.

171

RC 2016 Leaks & Releases

by wifibandit in

in an effort to reduce the number of posts, this year i will try to add links to this post.

now, on with the leaks & releases!

first up.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nzvwhflss4.

TheListener

Ugh. The two main elders look creepy and so culty.

63

New Spiritually Weak Label: Not Using Tablet/iPhone

by Doubtfully Yours in

with last night's meeting it became official: here in the states is a must to keep up with 'jehovah's org' that one fully jumps on board with this tablet/iphone crap.. so, now, all of us that up to this point have refused to follow the wtbts in their electronic/wireless revolution will deal with the browbeating from the 'spiritual' ones.. already receiving lots of grief from hubby and rest of the family/close friends when seen at the meetings with paper publications.

damn it!!!

am i alone in this resistance???!!!.

TheListener

The people at the KH can see your underlining on the tablet other device and still judge. It's not as easy but whether they walk past your seat, sit near you or figure it out some other way they still judge.

63

New Spiritually Weak Label: Not Using Tablet/iPhone

by Doubtfully Yours in

with last night's meeting it became official: here in the states is a must to keep up with 'jehovah's org' that one fully jumps on board with this tablet/iphone crap.. so, now, all of us that up to this point have refused to follow the wtbts in their electronic/wireless revolution will deal with the browbeating from the 'spiritual' ones.. already receiving lots of grief from hubby and rest of the family/close friends when seen at the meetings with paper publications.

damn it!!!

am i alone in this resistance???!!!.

TheListener

My wife's family jumped on board right away and were very excited. The newness and excitement has worn off for the older ones and they're tired of always having issues with their devices. They have no idea how to sync multiple devices or find older copies of studied watchtowers. They really are just going from week to week and feeling frustrated but not really allowed to express themselves - except for little comments when we visit that I pick up on.

My wife is not into the technology. She is about 50/50 with her electronic use. She still takes some paper to the meetings and uses the technology for some things too. She also doesn't really like it because of the frustration with her knowledge of electronics. But, she's not allowed to complain and only makes minor comments once in awhile after the meeting about her frustrations. A good dub would never openly complain about a provision from J.