Knowing that I WAS in a cult saddens me deeply for there are some people I really loved there and the fact is I will not see even a tenth of them ever again. It feels like a broken heart, I often wonder how could I love certian people so purely and yet they are afraid to even look at me. I feel so happy to be out though and am learning to live life to the fullest extent I can. (Therefore the overwhelming schedule I have/always feeling like I have to make up for lost time.)
If I dwell on it too long this old heart of mine gets a little crazy and it is not too healthy to think about the what if's of coulda woulda shoulda's.
I am just really happy to be living now and not JUST surviving.