That is where I am at in several relationships right now. They either have slipped, or in two cases in particular, I have made the decision to let them go. NECESSARY LOSSES. CoCO~ I think I will check that out. It sounds like it would be most helpful. TwinFlame~Thank you for your kind words. I mean that sincerely. Misanthropic~ I have done the loss stage once with this one friend, and this time, I really don't feel a loss...just relief. Delilah~ I am discovering that even if they offer love and care back...if the negative outweighs the good...I need to go...just walk. Sometimes there is too much on this plate to deal with so much negative.
This is where I find myself at. Cut it while I still can be civil. Evita~ I understand what you say about"she continues to hurt my feelings by having parties and not inviting me and my family. " I get that a lot. I don't try to have hurt feelings by nature, but when repeatedly I am left out, usually because what is being done is something I would really not go for, such as just go out pick up whoever and screw them...well I have to wonder, why are we friends. We don't even like most any of the same things and in fact I would find things she does most vile. I have never condemned her, for for a brief period I did those things too. When all was said and done, I did not find it as fulfilling as others. So I was true to myself and just stopped. So if she can't talk to me about what she does, feels like she has to hide how she lives, and I guess the worst,,,constantly puts me down, I just don't want it. I am not reeally even mad. Just strangly calm and need to walk away. I feel that way about several people right now actually. I have this huge desire to clean out my home. Inner and outer. I find myself examining a lot of people I have associated with as of late. I really hate letting people into my small world and then finding out they could not respect their boundaries...or perhaps could not control themselves and set some for themselves. I know people say to make lines as to what you will allow or not...perhaps I am in that anyone in my life that wants to join in on the taunting or the crossing of boundaries, or the leaving of me out, dong things they know will hurt me....they can just leave. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired as of late. Just damn tired of fighting for everything. I don't even want to anymore. I am happy with myself and I truly do not need the bull@$#. I just don't even feel like explaining myself to anyone of them either. Just let them go. Perhaps this is not the best way to deal or not deal with it. As I said, I am just tired, dissapointed, and don't have time or the fight. I really find myself just not giving a rats butt. I expect loyalty from people and I seem to notice it is a hard thing to get. (Or get at the level I give) So I just assume that either I have hard standards, or I am circling with the wrong people. Perhaps a combo. Today the changes are all in the starting. It feels good. |
Sparkplug
JoinedPosts by Sparkplug
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21
I ponder on time with friends..
by Sparkplug inthe older i get the more i have to evaluate myself.
i have noted a loyalty to a fault with friends.
i truly have thought on that.
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Sparkplug
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I'm Sorry
by loosie ini wanted to apologize to all the protesters who used to stand out in front of dogers stadium in la ca.. i hated it when you guys were out there.
i really wanted you to go away and leave alone.. now i understand.
you've been hurt.
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Sparkplug
I was always afraid of the people protesting outside of the Amarillo Center. (But I wanted to talk to them) I really wanted to read one of those fake Watchtowers they had...
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For Warlock:
by SixofNine inthe other day, i wrote: .
"a good way to do that would be to proactively hold their civilian leadership accountable.
to which you responded: .
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Sparkplug
Hemp Lover and Sparkplug,
Chew on this when you want to overly dramatize the war, let's compare your 5 years comment to these battles that took place over just periods of days: Some numbers on American deaths in battles below--
The Wilderness, May 5-7: 17,666 Spotsylvania, May 10 and 12: 10,920 Drewry's Bluff, May 12-16 4,160 Cold Harbor, June 1-3: 12,000 Petersburg, June 15-30 16,569
My point was for everyone to stop the arguing in these posts.
And this makes "this" war more valid how?
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For Warlock:
by SixofNine inthe other day, i wrote: .
"a good way to do that would be to proactively hold their civilian leadership accountable.
to which you responded: .
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Sparkplug
Leave it alone guys......enough is enough.
Enough apathy, you mean? Five years and counting - you're absolutely right. Enough is enough. How many died this week? Or are you too busy leaving it alone?I have to say this is spot on! Great letter Six! He had some things to say and is not afraid to say it. On a saddened not... he probably has had far too much and MUST say it.
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You don't have to read this... Feedback Wanted
by Sparkplug inwhen i die may i please have chocolate cake?.
chapter 1. my birth.
i have always thought of my life like that.
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Sparkplug
Do yourself and posterity a favor, and get proactive about it. Try to lose the lack of confidence, easier said than done I know, but you're being told by many sincere people that you have a special talent. Run with it!nvrgnbk~ probably because I don't have a clue where to start nor who to go to with it. lol perhaps not really confident.
Today...I say Ok. Just that. OK I will. Watch!
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I ponder on time with friends..
by Sparkplug inthe older i get the more i have to evaluate myself.
i have noted a loyalty to a fault with friends.
i truly have thought on that.
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Sparkplug
I am now trying to choose who I will give of myself to instead of blindly accepting every person that comes along as a frined.
Free to think~ Thanks for that. I have been saying that in my head for days now.
Now I realize that we don't have to suffer through 'friendships,' if that's what you can call them, we can choose who we want to be around and who we don't. I see a lot of people I used to hang out with and it is such a relief to me to not have to put up with their fake frinedshhip anymore. In the past mos,t if not all, of these friendships have been one-sided with me doing all the work and running and in the end they just weren't there for me when I needed help or support or even just a phone call.
And this above is so true. I think maybe I should pick friends as I would a lover or husband...with a lot more thought put into it and perhaps I will end up as unmarried as I am today. It is a big thing and I should view people that are close with such an eye.
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I ponder on time with friends..
by Sparkplug inthe older i get the more i have to evaluate myself.
i have noted a loyalty to a fault with friends.
i truly have thought on that.
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Sparkplug
Funny, I've been thinking the same thing today and in last few weeks, but particularly today, even about coming here any more. I think moment in life does come when we simply ought to move on, because staying is reminding us of pain and is detrimental to us in every respect. We have responsibility to ourselves to draw the line because that is also a virtue of a character. Letting things drag does nothing constructive in our life and when you think about it, we have only one left and most of us are already half way through it
So I agree with you. And besides, that may also help people who are left behind to 'snap out of it' and in future friendships think before they act.
Life is beautiful and is meant to be lived not to be wasted. You want to have people around you who truly appreciate your presence and would feel great loss emotionally, spiritually and in every other way, should anything happen to you, not because they need you out of selfish desire but because they have allowed their hearts to be seeded with pieces of your soul.
Anything less than that is not worth mentioning as a "friendship". We all have had hard moments in life, some of us were on brink of loosing it yet are doing our utmost to make people feel good about themselves. , to the point where we may suffer. I will never forget the movie Gone With The Wind where Scarlett O'Hara was always needing encouragement and understanding of others; and people, good people around her have responded abundantly, she was always on a brink of disaster and needing understanding. Funny thing was she outlived them all. I was watching this movie with my flatmates the other day. They've chosen it on purpose to show it to me, to start thinking about my own good and good of those who truly care about me. Which I intend to do from now on.
So yes, you are one of few special people here I truly appreciate I will probably never have a pleasure of meeting. Unfortunately, that is life. Take care of yourself and your family. I would say God bless if I I believed in one, but all the best in any case :)Zagor I posted it all again because so much well thought was written.
that may also help people who are left behind to 'snap out of it' and in future friendships think before they act.
The above line really hit me. and this one too...
You want to have people around you who truly appreciate your presence and would feel great loss emotionally, spiritually and in every other way, should anything happen to you, not because they need you out of selfish desire but because they have allowed their hearts to be seeded with pieces of your soul.
and smacked me in the head with this...
Anything less than that is not worth mentioning as a "friendship".
This was great too...but never say never..."
So yes, you are one of few special people here I truly appreciate I will probably never have a pleasure of meeting.
I still need to travel the world and I am not loosing that goal yet.
I understanding maybe leaving here if you need to....I hope not, for I really enjoy what you have to say.
But if you do, go well, and don't be a stranger. Keep writing and sending out your wisdom. I believe you are awake and awake people should share. I hope you do.
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I ponder on time with friends..
by Sparkplug inthe older i get the more i have to evaluate myself.
i have noted a loyalty to a fault with friends.
i truly have thought on that.
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Sparkplug
I think in one instance my mind really was open to this new idea I see when I had to ask fo borrow something that was unused by the other person for a long time. Just rotting away. At any rate, when I was pretty much made fun of and criticized for "needing" I realized why this person (one of such outgrown friends) never needs. that is because the people around this friend, including myself...do not ever let her get to that position. We see a need, and if this person would loose pride for a moment and let it be seen there is a need...we fix what we can before anyone makes this person get to the point of having to ask.
It was them I realized...how crazy is this that my friend even thinks of me this way? Why do I carry such a burden? It really drains to have a "so call"friend who constantly thinks the worst, never even blinks or even sees the things you have done to help them. I am tired of it. I don't really want recognition for helping this person....Just perhaps someone who actually sees and appreciates, perhaps loves me as I am.
Then I have a friend of many years I have had to cut ties with. Life never really lets you know a person...I don't care who they are and sometimes we have to make hard choices. This was one of them.
I always have said I like to socialize, but I keep the loved...truly loved ones to a minimum and that is because it is better to have one really true friend than a bunch of socializing ones.
At any rate, it has been a blow because I thought these people were here for life. Part of me says that is sad, part is relieved, and yet another part thinks that have made the right choices. This will be good.
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I ponder on time with friends..
by Sparkplug inthe older i get the more i have to evaluate myself.
i have noted a loyalty to a fault with friends.
i truly have thought on that.
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Sparkplug
I also think that if I don't walk away from these friendships I will fester and pop. I have felt too much hurt and seen too clearly how one sided they are. It is best to let them die if I can and not let them get to the point of drama. Just walk.
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I ponder on time with friends..
by Sparkplug inthe older i get the more i have to evaluate myself.
i have noted a loyalty to a fault with friends.
i truly have thought on that.
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Sparkplug
Can marriages just end like that?
I believe they can. I think that is how people can stay friends. It is just having the mindset that you are not going to make something happen that would warrent a break. Maybe just accept that it is at its end and not cause drama to get out. It does not have to be an ugly ending. I think.