ONE reply to this thread? Awww...come on!
Worst romance novel EVER! DO NOT BUY THIS!
My neighbor recommended this book to me, insisting is is a very thought-provoking book. She recommended it after finding out I am an avid reader of romance novels.
I was expecting the cover to be one of those photos of a topless muscle bound hunk riding a white horse on the beach. Instead it was a weird cardboard cover, solid red, with gold lettering, without an author's name. But my neighbor raved about it, so I got it.
I should mention the artwork within the book is equally disappointing. There are no sexy pictures, just antiquated line drawings.
I've read many romance novels, and some of them start slow. Not this one. It dives into the good stuff on page 22, which explains a generic encounter of two married people lying next to each other. They left everything else to the imagination. No details are given. I thought this must be a quirky writer's device.
On page 26, it got interesting again, talking about thrills. Unfortunately, the thrill referred to was getting your period. I was like, "What the....?" This went on with some TMI about bodies developing during adolescence. To each his own, but for me, this was just ICK.
My neighbor said I should keep reading because the book really does get good. There was a chapter for young ladies. On page 30, it talks about how to prevent premarital sex. What kind of romance novel tells people not to have sex?! I paged back to the boys' section and saw nothing on this topic. They say the boys need to be sure to please their wives, but they don't say the boys are responsible for preventing illicit liaisons--just the girls are responsible. Aha--are we working up to something interesting here? A little forbidden pleasure?
Page 36 educates the reader that doctors and psychiatrists don't know best about our nether regions, and how the only good advice for our private lives comes from an ancient book written by goat herders. I don't get what this has to do with the romance storyline. I was still waiting for the line drawing of the 1950s girl in a poodle skirt and the line drawing of the nerdy boy to hook up.
Around page 40, the author really starts a slow climb into some exciting stuff, but it takes an odd turn. It talks about pleasuring yourself--so far, so good--keep talking! Then it says it leads to homosexuality and is self abuse. Ooookaaaay? Where are we going with this, some kinky stuff?
Instead of continuing in the right direction, the author says you should wear loose clothing, avoid bedtime snacks and sleeping on your back, and that poor hygiene can be a turn on (page 43). I mean, poor hygiene of your junk? Who says that in a romance novel? YUCK. At this point, I completely lost interest and stopped reading.
I am guessing this is the anonymous author's first book. He needs to learn some better marketing techniques, get some better artwork, and learn how to build a storyline to, eh, climax.
