wanderlustguy

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Posts by wanderlustguy

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  22

  Traumatic memories never grow up, neither does the person

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mother has been through a lot in her life, some bad before the truth, then following through during and after.

  almost all of which she never shared with me until the past few months when i had to have my questions answered to get past the events i was stuck on.

  i feel i am aging in years every month now, and was curious as to why.

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  wanderlustguy

  I think I left out my real point...after realizing I'm not crazy, and those things did happen, it seems possible to mourn for the little boy that had his mind turned inside out, like accepting a death in a way. Every time now I face an event, accept it happened, and speak to the ones I feel need to know I am now aware of the past, it goes away. Not really away, but where it belongs...in the past.

  The big event on my horizon, though is the confrontation with my father. He has to be accountable for what he did to us, and his payment will be to hear his son tell him what a small person his father is and why. I don't mean literally say "you are a small person", but to tell him what I know about the past and what he did to us, creating a horrible perception of what makes a good man. He's small because he doesn't even have the strength to face the reality he created or his own mistakes, I've made the same mistakes as him in some areas, and I intend for my children to know them all. They deserve to know my real experiences, maybe saving them some of my mistakes.

  He has to be made aware I know the truth, I know all of it, and no one including him can take it away from me again.

  Thanks for reading...

  W
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  28

  Classism in America?

  by under74 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i recently had an experience at school where i felt like the one odd poor class in the room.

  the conversation started with homelessness and then gravitated to poor people in general.

  there were a lot of weird and false assumptions laid out like "those people walk hunched over" and " they" .....well you get the picture.

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  wanderlustguy

  I definately think there is. For instance I work with someone who has never really had to do without. Like you, I too grew up very poor, we usually huddled in one room (my mom, brother and I). I've never had anything really given to me outside of a few items of furniture a long time ago, etc.

  Maybe it is more of an educational gap, so to speak. If someone has never been poor, they can never fully appreciate how it affects a person. Usually I feel people who have never experienced real poverty or trial overestimate what is really due to them. If someone has always had everything provided, they do not know what it is to earn anything, it's just expected.
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  22

  Traumatic memories never grow up, neither does the person

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my mother has been through a lot in her life, some bad before the truth, then following through during and after.

  almost all of which she never shared with me until the past few months when i had to have my questions answered to get past the events i was stuck on.

  i feel i am aging in years every month now, and was curious as to why.

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  wanderlustguy

  My mother has been through a lot in her life, some bad before the truth, then following through during and after. Almost all of which she never shared with me until the past few months when I had to have my questions answered to get past the events I was stuck on. I feel I am aging in years every month now, and was curious as to why. It's strange because I have a large responsibility for a large group of people, and seem to be good at it. However, in my "natural state" I think I was about 10-12, from here looking back I can see so many juvenile actions on y part. I've heard this before about women in particular, their voice sticks at a certain age if there was a traumatic experience (little girl voice), with men it's something different that is a big indicator, immature behavior (how many times have you seen a guy acting like a teenager?).

  Anyway, to the point, my mother has spent a lot on therapy, and had some brilliant doctors. One thing they said to her that really hit me was that our memories never grow up. We can't mentally revisit the time when we were taken advantage of by an older stronger person, revisiting with our current knowledge and strength and fortitude. We are eternally at that stage in our lives in that memory. So I the thought passed to me was that a person has to "embrace" the even, for lack of a better word, and recognise it for what it really was. Doing that, a person can dissect the event and know the real truth, because most of us (or at least I was) were taught to not see the entire truth of the event. We were taught that "maybe you misunderstood" or even outright "that person would not do that" and then we began to doubt ourselves, whether we even had a grasp on reality or not in the first place.

  Fortunately I have someone in my life that was there for all of it, and now I can ask the questions I never could ask before. The best part for me is, I'll ask about a memory that is faint or shut out for some reason, and I'll ask "did this happen?" and invariably it did. The question has been asked on this board so many times, "why are you angry?" I am not angry any longer, I have a hate, not of people, but of what was taken from me. The group, collective, organization, whatever you want to call it is part of a system that strips the purest of things from a person. They make us unbeleivers and apostates to ourselves because we reject the truth of our own perceptions. We are taught to ignore our own eyes, ears, hearts, and even the worst of all, our memories. How can someone believe or have confidence in themselves after that? Doubtless that is one of the tools of the organization, criplle a person emotionally to the point the depend on the "support" of the group...the same group that cripples them.

  Praise the one who left you
  Broken down and paralyzed - A Perfect Circle - Judith
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  34

  CoC and Search of Christian Freedom came yesterday in the mail

  by ithinkisee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  time to swallow the red pill.. right now both books remain unopened - sealed in the amazon.com box buried in a backpack in the trunk of my car.

  i feel like i'm smuggling drugs or something.. i'll be starting coc tomorrow ... .

  this is more of a vanity post than anything.

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  wanderlustguy

  I did the same thing when I got my copy, was all excited and had to tell everyone about it. It really opens your eyes to the real truth.

  Enjoy, just remember it is only the start of the journey!

  W
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  8

  Just found out I can't go to the Apostaboil...

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and of all things, i'll be spending that weekend in nashville sucking up to clients.

  just found out today when it is, wouldn't you know it.

  maybe i need to reprioritize things?

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  wanderlustguy

  Actually everything goes through Echostar, it's not the worst thing in the world, but I just can't get used to how these people are about their TV...plain crazy.
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  8

  Just found out I can't go to the Apostaboil...

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  and of all things, i'll be spending that weekend in nashville sucking up to clients.

  just found out today when it is, wouldn't you know it.

  maybe i need to reprioritize things?

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  wanderlustguy

  Wish I could, it's the annual Dish Network Summit, all the big players will be there, and I'm on the Board for our company...no getting out of it. I guess I'll have to catch the next one. Maybe it's da devil tryin to keep me from doin what's right and I need to quit my job and wash windows...
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  123

  Do you people have jobs?

  by DavidA in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how do you guys find the time to chat on this board all day?

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  wanderlustguy

  Where did he go anyway? For some reason I keep seeing a mental image of a chihuahua freshly dipped in ice water, in a corner...
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  41

  Two great quotes!

  by mkr32208 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i contend that we are both atheists, i just believe in one less god than you do.

  when you understand why you dismiss all other possible gods, then you will know why i dismiss yours.

  - stephen f. roberts.

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  wanderlustguy

  the best revenge is living well
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  39

  Mass. High Court Makes Landmark Child Abuse Ruling--JW

  by blondie in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/localregional/view.bg?articleid=91413&format=text

  high court makes landmark church abuse ruling.

  by michael kunzelman / associated press.

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  wanderlustguy

  My face is stuck!
• 
  1

  New version of creation story

  by wanderlustguy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  some of you or all of you may have seen this before, if so i apologise...but it's still good!

  creation story

  and man gained pounds.

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  wanderlustguy

  Some of you or all of you may have seen this before, if so I apologise...but it's still good!

  Creation Story

  In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

  Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Kreme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

  And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

  And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

  So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

  God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them."

  And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

  God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."

  Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

  God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds.

  And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

  Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

  And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

  God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

  And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good."

  And Man went into cardiac arrest.

  God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

  Then Satan created HMOs.