my wife is getting baptized on the 19th.. i wrote her a letter today.
basically i asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns.
i am the person who has the most invested in her.
I am a non-JW married to one. I found the "Secret to Family Happiness" book to be an excellent guide as to what to expect from my JW partner
Nice. Thank you. That will be my next read. Any quick advice? Is there any hope? How many years am I going to lose here?
my wife is getting baptized on the 19th.. i wrote her a letter today.
basically i asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns.
i am the person who has the most invested in her.
Just make whatever request, be firm but nice.
Can I order her to not get baptized?!
my wife is getting baptized on the 19th.. i wrote her a letter today.
basically i asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns.
i am the person who has the most invested in her.
However, you do have the upper hand in the fact that you're 'the man' and, therefore, head of the household. At your request, she has to decorate, cook and be present at the holiday gatherings. I know it because we've been instructed from the platform of situations when the woman is a JW but now the husband.
Interesting. Do you have literature citations I could use?
my wife is getting baptized on the 19th.. i wrote her a letter today.
basically i asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns.
i am the person who has the most invested in her.
THanks for your info "great one" That is EXACTLY the kind of stuff I am looking for
my wife is getting baptized on the 19th.. i wrote her a letter today.
basically i asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns.
i am the person who has the most invested in her.
If ya don't call that shunning, what would you call it. To my knowledge I was never dfd or da'd.
I would be asked if your situation was typical. Is that standard operating procedure? Is it written down somewhere I could reference?
my wife is getting baptized on the 19th.. i wrote her a letter today.
basically i asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns.
i am the person who has the most invested in her.
My wife is getting baptized on the 19th.
I wrote her a letter today. Basically I asked her why she isn't coming to me to find out my concerns. I am the person who has the most invested in her. If I were doing something that she was uncomfortable with, I would be trying to make it ok with her.
She said she wants to talk to me, but she doesn't want to push me. Which means she wants to make me read some stupid garbage that I have already read before, and don't agree with. What I mean is I want to talk to her about the problems with her organization.
I also asked her why my concern doesn't give her pause, why doesn't it make her give her beliefs a second guess. She said on any other thing it would, "this is just different". I asked her why, and got no reply.
So I said, "So that means to me that 14 strangers in Brooklyn have more credibility with you than I do." She hit me with the ol' "We only believe what the Bible says" line. I asked her if they only beleive what the Bible says, why do they all change their mind when the GB does. The Bible didn't change! Only the GB's interpretation. She said she wasn't in the Truth when that happened so she couldn't say.
We then resolved that we would "push" each other with anything we felt appropriate. I told her that is all I wanted. A free and open exchange of ideas without throwing labels like "apostate" around. Facts and logic.
She said she doesn't think it will ever cause any problems in the family. I asked her what happens if the children join and then leave. Are you going to shun them? She said that it doesn't work like that. She wouldn't have to not talk to them. She said that isn't how disfellowshipping works. Everything I have heard says that is EXACTLY how it works.
I took a risk. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. We will see if she runs away. I do believe that nothing will stop her baptism. That would be like canelling the wedding after the invitations have been sent. I only hope that I will ring the bell enough so she can leave when she is ready.
A short question: So what is the deal with that whole UN thing, what is the JW explanation, and why does it matter?
does anyone know where i could find this list of questions?
Does anyone know where I could find this list of questions?
i was just curious if any here had familiarity with both cults.
my wife is involved with the jw's, and my sister used to be a scientologist.
i was telling my sister about the various, dubious aspects of the jw religion, and she just couldn't stop laughing at the remarkable similarities.. for example, they don't have meetings all week, they have "classes".. if you miss the classes, you will get phone calls to see if "everything is ok".. if you fall out of favor with the organization, you may be "declared" (this is the same as df).
I was just curious if any here had familiarity with both cults. My wife is involved with the jw's, and my sister used to be a scientologist. I was telling my sister about the various, dubious aspects of the jw religion, and she just couldn't stop laughing at the remarkable similarities.
For example, they don't have meetings all week, they have "classes".
If you miss the classes, you will get phone calls to see if "everything is ok".
If you fall out of favor with the organization, you may be "declared" (this is the same as df)
People who want to leave, but want to avoid being "declared", "slink away"
If you take any psychology classes (this would be equivalent to going to a church in Satan's organization), you would have to submit to some special "auditing". (this would be equivalent to being grilled by the elders)
So I figured I would open the floor to any who would like to share their thoughts.
what's the more effective method to try to open the dormant organ most jw's have as a brain?
is it tackling them on biblical issues and inconsistencies, for instance the "great crowd" dilemma from revelation, or the isaiah "new world" problem recently posted by leolaia?
is it the blood issue, either based on a scriptural attack or else a humanistic "value-of-life" approach?
Surveys of those who escaped high control groups showed that the most influential thing was learning about other high control groups and disecting the methods of control. It is nearly inevitable that bells will ring in the head when they later catch themselves supressing their own questions and doubts or fear
This is interesting to me, since my wife is a soon to be jw. Where did you get this information? What surveys? What high control methods were studied, and how were they disected?
what's the more effective method to try to open the dormant organ most jw's have as a brain?
is it tackling them on biblical issues and inconsistencies, for instance the "great crowd" dilemma from revelation, or the isaiah "new world" problem recently posted by leolaia?
is it the blood issue, either based on a scriptural attack or else a humanistic "value-of-life" approach?
It is an axiom of human nature that people do not generally believe things because of conclusions reached through reason, rather they believe what they want to believe and use reason to justify their decision.
The key is to realize that the JW wants to believe what they believe. They are doing exactly what they want to be doing. The second they don't, they start asking questions. The questions lead to more questions. Then to "apostate" material, which in any other area of human study is called a second opinion.
Most of us here are trying to help someone out of the WT cult. To do that, you have to understand why they are there in the first place.
Why did they choose to believe this stuff?
It is a different answer for every person.
