I hate to rain on you party
No Hondo, I want people to rain on my parade. I am not a jw so I do not wish to live in fantasy and immerse myself in delusion. If I am off on something I want to know about it.
Check_Your_Premises
JoinedPosts by Check_Your_Premises
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
I know my wife will try to do whatever she can to teach the children. I guess I am still unsure exactly what the boundaries are. If I join another church, I don't want her teaching the kids that I am in satans org and I am going to die in armageddon, just like she doesn't want me saying, jws are a cult.
There is an idea I am trying to articulate here, but can't quite capture. I know jws think they are the only ones with truth, so they can't imagine another way. But I want her to show respect to the fact that I might want to believe another way. I don't want her or anyone else using ad hominem, or labels to disqualify my "alternative" outright. Just as she does not want me to tell the kids "mommy is crazy and in a cult". I know part of her beliefs is that other churches will be destroyed in armageddon. But I don't want her to say that. I want her to say, "we believe other churches will be destroyed". I have no problem with that.
It is the difference between presenting the information as belief or as fact. I want all religious matters to be presented as beliefs, and have it be left to the individual to decide what is fact. A, "I wont scream cult if she wont call me the devils agent" kind of thing. At least for the time being.
So I guess until I get a good handle on how things will work, I only want us to discuss religious matters with the kids while we are both present. Also I would prefer we talk about it first so it doesn't degenerate into an argument right in front of them. I want them to see healthy, reasonable discussions.
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
Personally, I think the Bible can be used to prove or disprove any number of things. It's all about which scriptures you "read" and which ones you "explain".
yeah that is the trick isn't it. I want to take some time to look at the scriptures they use, and the explanation the arrive at, and go ahead and list all the other possible explanations I can imagine.
For instance, they cite some scriptures about the apostles giving out proclamations. This is supposedly proof that God always had an org. The thing is, the scriptures were not complete at that point. The whole reason we had special servants, and prophets back then is because the scriptures were not complete. Then once they were, supposedly people stopped having to power to heal, and prophecy, and speak in tounges.
Just example. There are many more. Like I said, I need to be able to offer alternative explanaitions.
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
Well the point of my strategy was to try to avoid those "tricky" little ways they will have of indoctrinating the kids. Is there something my above described strategy does not cover.
And to the extent that my wife will find a way, I still have to minimize it don't I?
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
Yeah I have a pretty good idea which doctrines are weak and which ones are not. It is a matter of doing my homework.
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
I came to this site to learn about what I'm up against, and boy howdy!
Right?!
Welcome. Sorry to hear about your situation. It is so hard because our job is to defend our children! Even against their other parent!
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
I too, have problems with my ex taking our son to meetings
How old are they? How involved were they? How long has your wife been involved? How long have you been taking your sons? And lastly... how has it been going for you?
Sorry so many questions. That is all I seem to have these days?
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
Actually I have studied with them on and off for about 3 years. I went through the knowledge book, the "God's word or Man's" book, and Some of the "Draw Close to Jehovah" book.
I think I know exactly what they are, and what they are about. I know alot about their history. I have the 1917 version of "Finished Mystery" coming to me in the mail.
Like I said though, I couldn't sit down with the Bible (their and my foundation for truth) and explain why what they are teaching is wrong. That is an important point. I can't say, "they are wrong because of 1914". They will say "but the Bible shows that we are the true religion, that doesn't matter". I have to be able to give reasonable alternative explanations for their Biblical interpretations. They will never agree, but my children will benefit. I don't have a problem with all their doctrine either.
95% of my objection is with a single doctrine:
"We are the faithful and discreet slave appointed by Jesus to watch over all his belongings"
Don't worry about me getting brainwashed. I am actually fairly up to speed on what they do and why it works. That is the reason I am so terrified of my children's participation. As long as they don't NEED to believe this stuff they should be fine. My wife does. It is a cruel fact of life that past abuse makes future abuse more likely, not less. Thus, splash!
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
How old are your children?
Oldest girl 12 - she goes to all the meetings, which are strictly voluntary right now, for about 3 years.
9yr boy - Could really care less, like most boys. Loves his momma, and doesn't want to dissapoint. His sister tries to lean on him to go, but when I catch her doing it I jump on her. Wife tried leaning on him a couple times, I jumped on her also.
2yr girl - She is the one I feel most optimistic about. She will come up in a completely alternative view. The other two got nothing but wt garbage for the last 3 years.
It just took me some time to wise up and see it for what it is.
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51
Wife joining, but I don't want the kids to get all brainwashed
by Check_Your_Premises inmy wife is joining.
she feels that the choice is between nothing and god, and that the only way to have a relationship with god is through these people.
i have accepted that.
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Check_Your_Premises
Yes the thing I have come to realize is that my wife has a need to believe in this stuff. She needs to hear someone has all the answers. She has been through some trauma in her life, and I am in the process of understanding what is contributing to her need.
The children on the other hand will not be so harmed (hopefully) and NEED to believe this. That is what makes me hopeful. As long as I can provide a good alternative, they will choose the most sensible.