Check_Your_Premises

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Posts by Check_Your_Premises

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  52

  UBMs - why do we love JWs??

  by Super_Becka in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think there's been a thread on this before, but i figured i'd ask again.. for all of the ubms out there, why is it that we love witnesses??

  what is it about them that we find so attractive??

  why are we putting ourselves through this mess when we know full-well that there are lots of non-jws out there who would be better for us??.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Oh yea...

  CYP
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  52

  UBMs - why do we love JWs??

  by Super_Becka in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think there's been a thread on this before, but i figured i'd ask again.. for all of the ubms out there, why is it that we love witnesses??

  what is it about them that we find so attractive??

  why are we putting ourselves through this mess when we know full-well that there are lots of non-jws out there who would be better for us??.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  It's amazing how fast things change.

  Ain't that the truth.

  Have you ever done this?

  One of my new ones is imagining the conversation I will have someday where I have to apologize to my children for the incredibly awful choice I made in picking their mother.

  CYP
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  52

  UBMs - why do we love JWs??

  by Super_Becka in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think there's been a thread on this before, but i figured i'd ask again.. for all of the ubms out there, why is it that we love witnesses??

  what is it about them that we find so attractive??

  why are we putting ourselves through this mess when we know full-well that there are lots of non-jws out there who would be better for us??.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  I don't want to live out my life wondering, "What if...??".

  I love you Becka. I remember when you showed up here. I remember so many "dating a jw's" that have showed up here. One or two have been successful. Some get dumped. Most fade away, apparantly heeding the "run" advice or getting themselves a great deal on service bag.

  I gotta say though; I sure wish I had your problems.

  I really pray you never have mine.

  I am glad you have laid out what you will commit and what you will accept. I hope you keep them. I have a warning for you based on some very costly personal experience.

  Beware of commitment and the need for consistency.

  Once you commit something, you have a natural human need to stay with it, long after it is obvious that you should cut your losses. This is the same dynamic that keeps a gambler at a table long after he has spent the mortgage.... "I've lost so much already!!! This next dollar could get it all back!!!"

  I once spent years making sure I didn't have to say "what if" over a woman, that when I look back on it, really didn't even appeal to me at all. But I had been so dedicated to her at one point. To not make totally sure would have completely dishonored that previous commitment. What I wouldn't give for that time and energy back. Don't kid yourself that this is some thing you can just quit anytime.

  I am sure this guy has some great qualities. But he also would let your kids die if they needed blood. You can go easy on yourself by reminding yourself that it is very unlikely to happen. But that is irrelevant. The fact is that is the choice he would make, and you can't deny all that implies about him. He would be a threat to your children Becka. Anything else he is, is irrelevant.

  Sorry to dump my problems on you. But keep down this road and you will sound like me.

  Take care of yourself Becka. Life doesn't suffer fools.

  CYP
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  52

  UBMs - why do we love JWs??

  by Super_Becka in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i think there's been a thread on this before, but i figured i'd ask again.. for all of the ubms out there, why is it that we love witnesses??

  what is it about them that we find so attractive??

  why are we putting ourselves through this mess when we know full-well that there are lots of non-jws out there who would be better for us??.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Why do all the rest of my fellow UBMs out there stand by their JWs?? Why put up with the hassle??

  I do it because I am married with children. If I left my wife, some jag-off jw would be banging my wife, living in my house, driving my car, and raising my kids.

  I do feel a sense of duty to my wife. She is in a self-imposed prison of sorts. The closest analogy I can think of is an abusive spouse. I have a responsibility to help her obtain a different perspective, one that allows her to see the possibility of freedom if she is able to choose it.

  The question is how much more of my life do I commit to that effort? At some point, don't we have to accept a person wanting to drown, and not let them pull us down with them? I often picture myself hopping on a brand new Harley as I walk out of my kids graduation, leaving my wife behind in a befuddled cloud of dust. I often think of reducing my contribution to our marriage to mere requirements and duties, devoid of any affection and intimacy. In any romantic relationship I think we should never give more than we receive.

  How much more of your life are you going to pour out Becka? Don't get me wrong, I think you have an opportunity to help this fella. The fact that he is willing to defy "mother" is a promising sign. But is this really healthy for you?

  A very common pitfall for the single, young person (and one of Ben Stein's "Ways to ruin your life") is to run around "dating people with a lot of personal problems, and then thinking you can change them by nagging". I just want you to be honest about your motivations.

  Wouldn't it be an incredible validation of your womanly powers, and your remarkeable mind if you were able to help a person such as your boyfriend? How much will you sacrifice to acheive such validation? If you seek such validation, why? Could it be that you simply have an unmet need that could be better fulfilled in a less life-consuming venture?

  Sorry. Asking annoying questions is a ubm speciality. But I love you, and that means I want what is in your best interests. If this isn't in your best interests, I don't want it for you.

  CYP
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  36

  Who here is not former Jehovah's Witness?

  by omerp in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just wondering who else is lurking besides me?

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Proudly never a dub

  (proud that is until I realize how many things I have done that are just as stupid )

  CYP
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  31

  What Would It Take For Your JW Family/Friend To Get Out?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  is there anything that might get your witness relative or friend out of the "truth"??

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  Check_Your_Premises

  That is the million dollar question isn't it.

  I think the bottom line is whether or not that the person NEEDS to believe in the jw.

  The way to find this out is ask:

  "If it wasn't the truth would you want to know?" or

  "Pretend I have a peice of paper here, and it has irrefutable evidence that the jw aren't God's organization. Do want to look at it?"

  If the answer is NO, then it is not truth they love (because the way truth is best understood is by a constant search for facts and ideas and modifying OUR concept of truth according to those), but rather "the truth" (this requires only looking at facts and ideas that support "the truth" and refusing to acknowledge or look at facts or ideas that refute it).

  If that is the case then they NEED to believe in the jw. I don't think there is any point in showing them anything. You have to first identify, then create conditions that remove the need.

  If they don't NEED to believe in the jw (unlikely) then your task is simplified. I heard someone here say that "the door you came in through is the door you have to leave through". What that means is don't take them stuff YOU think is important. Rather find out what the hooks were for them. Remove the hooks through humble and presentation of facts and ideas and asking them to square these with their beliefs..

  CYP
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  122

  BETHEL NEWS: Bethel Elder Arrangement to be dissolved as of Aug. 31, 2006

  by Elsewhere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here is some news from a source within one of the wts branches:

  hot news from todays morning worship announcement worldwide -- letter from gb being read on 1st of march 2006 to every branch (hopefully we will have a copy of the letter soon.).

  as of aug. 31, 2006 the bethel elder arrangement will be dissolved!

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Bottom line: The GB has been gradually loosing control of the "Bethel Family" so now they are getting rid of their visible "Internal Affairs / Gestapo" people and creating an invisible controlling force.

  This comment as well as the recent Bethel downsizing is convincing me that there is a purge of sorts going on. I wonder how they decided who to downsize out of Bethel and who to not. Many have speculated financial/medical reasons. Could it also had an ideological component.

  The beauty of the totalitarian purge is that it leaves the leadership surrounded by yes-men and toadies, and even further isolated from reality... slower to react... and therefore increasingly paranoid.

  I have a feeling the WT is going to start getting really bizarre over the next few years.

  CYP
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  23

  COURTS ALLOW LAWRENCE HUGHES TO SUE WATCHTOWER SOCIETY

  by SHUNNED FATHER in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  last friday the judge decided that my wrongfull death suit for my daughters estate can proceed against the watchtower society and its lawyers and the doctors.

  the story received national news coverage on saturday and tuesday with alot of coverage on monday.

  today, associated press and cnn covered the story which makes it world news.. lawrence.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Lawrence,

  I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your efforts are fruitful, and help protect others from a similar fate. I pray that you take some comfort from them as well.

  CYP
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  27

  Cults, Crisis, Concision

  by RichieRich in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so this month (march) i promised my mother that i would auxillary pioneer with her.

  {that's 50 hours in field service, fyi}.

  i was supposed to turn in my application tonight, but alas, i forgot it.

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  Check_Your_Premises

  A metaphorical and lyrical representation of the deep shit that we are all in with our families, our friends, and our Big Brothers at Bethel

  Preach it brother.

  Hang in there. Mine cries one week telling me she isn't happy, and feels like she doesn't even care. Next week she is as zealous and obnoxious as ever.

  But they are our loved ones. We can't just stand by while some theological pimp just smacks our loved ones around like 2 dollar hookers. "Bitch better have my service time!!!"

  Censer Watchtower esse delendam!!!!

  CYP
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  22

  Where's Crumpet?

  by slugga in

  1. jw
  2. friends

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  anyone seen or heard from crumpet recently, i know she was having a bit of a hard time recently.... matt

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  Check_Your_Premises

  Hey Crumpy!

  Glad to hear you are ok. I haven't been around so much either. You are always in my thoughts tho.

  Cheers.

  CYP