Posts by Check_Your

13

Jehovah witnesses and life insurance

by Steel in

my wife was recently cornered by the elders about her blood card because she didn't have one.

so one elder witnessed her sign it and he signed it and one elder made himself her health care agent.. with the memorial coming up i am thinking of maybe having a life insurance policy drawn up, maybe in the amount of 300 or 400 dollars a month and i will ask these two dipshits if they would like to sign it.

it only seems fair they should be finicially responsible for my son since they made my wife sign a document endangering her safety.. what do you think?.

Check_Your_Premises

Ok read a little back story. She is marginal at best. You are way out and she knows.

56

"There is evidence of a Creator if you just look for it"

by unsure in

(for the record, i’m agnostic who is earnestly seeking an objective, honest and concrete hope for something greater).

“there is evidence of a creator if you just look for it”.

many of us have heard similar sentences from believers regarding proof of creator, proof that their religion is the correct one, proof that their particular sect is the right one, proof that their individual sects interpretation of a certain religious text is the right one, proof that their own personal interpretation of a certain religious text is the right one; the list goes on.. in one of my previous posts, i shared the following thought of mine:.

Check_Your_Premises

I don't think it is complicated. People make it so. Religion is people. C.S. Lewis said we should look at religion like a map. We trust someones representation of what they have found, but it isn't the thing itself.

In Christianity, God gives us two rules. Love God. Love your neighbor as yourself. Now those two rules, are somewhat intuitive (natural law). C.S. Lewis (again) in Mere Christianity, outlines his case outside of Biblical pronouncements (a holy book appealing to it's own authority is not a valid argument). A little thought should also make it obvious that you have not been able to follow those two rules. So you are on the outs with this Rule maker. The reason why Christianity was logical to me, is because God gives you your way back to him. You don't have to earn it, or make it on your own.

Also, a helpful way for me to think of God was not as a bunch of rules or buildings or people, but just as a friend to have a relationship with. And once I realized that God is all about love, then he became important to me. That is what I want to be about. Anyone who isn't about love is doing religion wrong.

I was once an atheist and a searcher. I couldn't stomach the idea of believing in something that couldn't be proven (or dis proven). I asked for years (arrogantly) for God to reveal himself to me. To use a 2x4 so there would be no question. Nothing. Then one day, I got the idea to explore faith from the perspective of holding it as a given that there was a God. (a useful method I learned from math, is to hold one parameter as a given so you can explore possibilities). At that moment he began to reveal himself to me, in unmistakable ways. A warning... If you try my experiment, be humble. You are addressing the Almighty.

13

Jehovah witnesses and life insurance

by Steel in

my wife was recently cornered by the elders about her blood card because she didn't have one.

so one elder witnessed her sign it and he signed it and one elder made himself her health care agent.. with the memorial coming up i am thinking of maybe having a life insurance policy drawn up, maybe in the amount of 300 or 400 dollars a month and i will ask these two dipshits if they would like to sign it.

it only seems fair they should be finicially responsible for my son since they made my wife sign a document endangering her safety.. what do you think?.

Check_Your_Premises

Well I would base your decision about what to do on how your wife will react. I presume you would prefer she left the org. So I think your pressure point is where Listener pointed you. But I wouldn't demand some headship thing. Just talk to her. Insurance... sure it is a valid point, but how will it be received by your wife. I am thinking it would be unnecessarily confrontational. Feels good, but produces the opposite effect.

You are her husband, not some jagoff elder or some phony baloney publishing company. So maybe say to her that you feel you should be the designated health representative. Maybe even agree to honor her wishes. Then go through the excruciating details with her. What a GOLDEN opportunity to indirectly point out the absurdities of the blood doctrine. SINCERELY ask her to decide all the silly questions about fractions. It will drive her batshit, and you are the good guy "just trying to follow the org". Jiu-jitsu my friend. All about taking someones energy, and redirecting. Never oppose force with force. If she agrees, she could just tell elder jagoff 1 and 2 that she needs to redo the card.

Yeah, I really think I would need more backstory on your wife to help craft an appropriate response. How dedicated of a JW? How long has she been in? Born in, joined as an adult? How well does she handle you not being a dub. How well do you two get along regarding JW?

If she doesn't trust you, then that is always your step 1. The enemy for both of you is not in your home. It is outside.

-Matt

5

What is in a name - God is Love

by Check_Your_Premises in

during my time dealing with the jw, i was always a bit annoyed by the whole "use god's name" thing.. one day i asked somebody the following:.

"if i murder and torture a child, and claim to do it in jehovah's name, who did i serve.

if i rescue, comfort, and help heal the same, and claim to do it in the name of satan, who then did i serve?".

Check_Your_Premises

No such thing as good? How about love? I bet you could think of all sorts of examples where people have done you wrong, aka not good.

Agreed we dont even need to believe in God to be about love. That is why i said:"Suppose you cannot stomach the idea that there is an all powerful mind in control of the universe, you still can be all about love. To me that atheist would be a better Christian than I have been all to often"

22

Those married to "still in" JWs

by NikL in

jw
friends

kind of got into it with my jw wife last night for the first time in a long time.. i try to not engage in conversations about doctrinal matters unless she asks me which she did.. anyway, i wont go into details but of course i am "not going to change her mind" and "why is it that you can't see when very smart people can?

" yada yada yada.

you probably can imagine.. it makes me so depressed.

Check_Your_Premises

Cant say much that hasnt already been said. Just keep trying to build up every other part o your relationship and try to cultivate an attitude that it is no skin off your as if she is a jw. Any energy on your part that is against her faith in jw feeds it. Leave her to the burdensome life without any persecution complex. And just be friend. Hang in there

5

What is in a name - God is Love

by Check_Your_Premises in

during my time dealing with the jw, i was always a bit annoyed by the whole "use god's name" thing.. one day i asked somebody the following:.

"if i murder and torture a child, and claim to do it in jehovah's name, who did i serve.

if i rescue, comfort, and help heal the same, and claim to do it in the name of satan, who then did i serve?".

Check_Your_Premises

"A lot of people think that they are the "lovingest" people on earth. But ask their neighbors, wives etc you get a different story. "

Ha! ain't that the truth. Well I specified that a person be about love, not merely be convinced of the fact.

Why do I think Christ died? Because He loves us. He did it because we are helpless in our fallen state. He died so we could be made right with God.

In the Christian faith being outside the kingdom is described as an eternal separation from God. What exactly that means, or who is to brought into that eternal separation, or what exactly is the criteria is not for me to know.

5

What is in a name - God is Love

by Check_Your_Premises in

during my time dealing with the jw, i was always a bit annoyed by the whole "use god's name" thing.. one day i asked somebody the following:.

"if i murder and torture a child, and claim to do it in jehovah's name, who did i serve.

if i rescue, comfort, and help heal the same, and claim to do it in the name of satan, who then did i serve?".

Check_Your_Premises

During my time dealing with the JW, I was always a bit annoyed by the whole "use God's name" thing.

One day I asked somebody the following:

"If I murder and torture a child, and claim to do it in Jehovah's name, who did I serve. If I rescue, comfort, and help heal the same, and claim to do it in the name of Satan, who then did I serve?"

I hadn't thought a lot about that topic, until a few months back I heard a Christian witnessing to a Hindu. He was quoting the scripture, Acts 4:12:

Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

I found myself getting annoyed again. I am a Christian myself, but I have come to resent those who try to reduce faith and salvation to a punch list of rituals of do's and dont's and checklists. God is not a formula, and neither is our relationship with Him.

But I thought more about what that means. What is God. What is His name, his meaning. I also thought about our secular culture, and atheists who see Christians as harsh, judgy, caricatures of John Lithgow trying to keep Kevin Bacon from dancing.

Really, I think, all you gotta know is that God is Love. (1st John 4:7-8) to the extent that what you do and say and put out to the world is about love, then you are in His service. Suppose you cannot stomach the idea that there is an all powerful mind in control of the universe, you still can be all about love. To me that atheist would be a better Christian than I have been all to often.

I also found thinking of God this way gave me a new appreciation for Him and why my relationship with Him is so important. Why I want to be a Christian. Why I want to serve Him. He is Love. Truly there is no other thing under heaven that can save us.

And you can extend that to all faith. If your behavior, that you think is grounded in your faith, is not coming from love, then you are doing it wrong.

Love you all.

CYP

12

Heartbroken...advice please

by SPARKLEY in

i am a non-jw and have been in an unhappy marriage for a few years now.

i met a nice man at work, we had a laugh together and got to know each other.

we were both really attracted to each other.

Check_Your_Premises

Sorry you have had this painful experience.

I guess the answer you are looking for, is if this is a JW type behavior. I don't know. Hard to say. He may have some conflicting guilt over the things he has done on impulse maybe, and the behavior you see is a reaction to that.

Probably would be overthinking it.

It is very difficult to be in a relationship with a JW, even one who is "out" because they carry many of the same ways of thinking at behavior.

So I guess I would chalk it up to good luck that you found out about this guy sooner than later.

Dating is tough, and can be painful. Protect your heart dear. Remember this pain, and learn from it, so you don't repeat it. Take care.

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

Check_Your_Premises

thank you,

One of Ben Stein's rules for ruining your life:

"Become involved with someone with lot's of emotional problems and think you can fix them by nagging"

Ok. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Since you are likely to proceed despite all the warnings you have been given, you might as well do it properly.

You have two choices:

Become a dub
Get her to leave the dubs

Since the JW are widely accepted to be a cult by experts in the field (ex moonie and cult expert Steven Hassan), I would prefer you got her to leave.

So how to proceed. First off, I would put romance out of your head. It isn't happening anyway. Just concentrate on being a good friend. She has given you a pretty definitive no go there. So at this point if you continue to pursue her romantically you are being a creepy bastard with obsessive-stalker tendencies. A great idea would be for you to move on romantically. It will put her at ease keeping you as a friend, get her off your mind in that way, and who knows... the law of supply and demand dictates that making yourself more scarce will elevate your value in her eyes... (presuming of course that she had any demand for you to begin with)

So now that you have accepted that you are in the friend zone, cuz brother, trust me you are, you can proceed as one.

My bonafides... (AKA why I can say I know what I am talking about) I had a wife join the JW, and through the help of the folks here I was able to stay out of the way long enough for her to find her way out.

I recommend reading up on how to best proceed in helping someone exit a cult. The aforementioned Steve Hassan has some excellent books on the subject. His latest is book is Freedom of Mind. I can't speak to it since I haven't read it.

I read Releasing the Bonds and the originally published Combatting Cult Mind Control. In my opinion Combatting was most helpful for me. I hear he has an updated version of that book that specifically addresses growing up in cults and even the JW specifically.

Learn about cults, help her get in touch with her authentic personality (she has been imprinted with a false JW one) and through care and patience she might see her way out... and she still might not like you.

Good luck. Seriously. I hope it all works out.

CYP

26

When does it end? My marriage is 90% great for the most part, except when it come to this cult

by goingthruthemotions in

i know marriage is tough and it takes work on both parts.

we have been together for 27 years.

the last eight have been involved with this cult.

Check_Your_Premises

I was an unbelieving mate for several years. We are now both happy and JW free!!!

Don't let them conflate your love for each other with love of the org.

Keep showing her in every way you can, that you love her; In or out.

Nothing will ever change that.

Make sure she knows you will respect her; in or out. Don't let them put you at odds. If a wife senses you have a problem with her because of her decision to be in the org, expect her to dig in. If you have no issue, she can be at ease. Do everything you can to cultivate a mindset that you are at peace with her as a JW, and love her all the same.

The hardest thing will be the children. The desire to keep the org from getting their hooks into them will give you a sense of urgency and make you want to fight. Don't. You will be better positioned to help the kids IN THE HOME. For a whole range of reasons not even related to the WT. Imagine your wife's new JW husband and the influence they will have with your kids. Don't let that happen.

I can talk more about how to be OK with a JW wife with respect to the kids. You just have to cover a lot of bases.

Let her see that you won't grow horns, go crazy, get killed by Jehovah for leaving.

Love love and love. All you need is love.

Then if she trusts you, and feels safe with you, at some point she may be willing to discuss your feelings about the WT and why you left.

Check_Your_Premises

Posts by Check_Your_Premises