Posts by Xyron

34

confused Im a non JW and my boyfriend is one of the JWs

by sun_dae in

i'm 21 years old and currently in a relationship with a baptised jw.

i have been studying with the jws for 2 years before we met.

well, i have to admit, i did not enjoy studying with them until about 10 months ago when i became interested of digging the "truth" although it means my sources was only the jw.

Xyron

Well I admit, that is some hard stuff to deal with. I was never physically beaten in school because I was bigger than everyone, but I received my fair share of verbal abuse for being different and I developed some problems of my own from it.

Obviously we don't interpret the messages in books like "Learn from the Great Teacher" in the same way but I'm not going to try and preach to you about why I think you're wrong about it. I think I've said my piece on this forum and I'm done. Whenever I come across this kind of forum I always feel overcome by the urge to interject my own opinions, and I've done that...hopefully someone will benefit from it.

Later all.

34

confused Im a non JW and my boyfriend is one of the JWs

by sun_dae in

i'm 21 years old and currently in a relationship with a baptised jw.

i have been studying with the jws for 2 years before we met.

well, i have to admit, i did not enjoy studying with them until about 10 months ago when i became interested of digging the "truth" although it means my sources was only the jw.

Xyron

My point was that stories like that can be easily fabricated.

Any advice I've seen given to witnesses on how to raise their children don't reflect anything like what you've described. If you really went through a rough time growing up as a witness child I'm sorry about it but you should be angry with your parents and the elder who wouldn't believe you, not the organization.

As far as spanking goes, whether you should or not is a big concern and has been discussed thoroughly by many child care professionals and they've all arrived at different conclusions. The bible's mention of "using the rod" would be more accurately translated as the rod used by a sheperd to gently direct his sheep, not beat the living crap out of them. Spanking is meant to punish for things children do wrong and should be accompanied by an explanation of why the child is being spanked, what they've done wrong, why it was wrong, that their parents still love them, etc etc. I was spanked some as a child and personally I don't think I was spanked enough. I might be more disciplined and focused if I had been, instead of downright lazy.

I grew up as a witness and didn't have christmas, birthdays or any other of the holiday's most other kid's at schools celebrated. Didn't hurt me any and I can see why it wouldn't be right to celebrate those things. No offense but if not getting presents at specific dates on the calendar caused any part of your depression, the lack of holidays wasn't your problem. A counselor or perhaps a psychiatrist would've been a good idea.

And looking at those of the opposite sex isn't wrong either, but when children reach the age that they start doing so, their parents should talk to them about it so they know why they're changing and starting to look at those of the opposite sex in such a different way.

Just because you experienced such things doesn't mean that's how it works with every Jehovah's Witness family world wide. Honestly, I don't know anyone personally who has ever related such a story.

Sadly nosferatu is mostly right...if someone loves you because of what religion you chose instead of who you are, you don't need them anyway, they arn't a good person to spend the rest of your life with. However I don't agree that "JW relationships" are like that.

12

Isn't this just special for Valentine's day

by JeffT in

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/211946_wedding14.html

letourneau, ex-pupil to wed.

marriage is set for april 16, registry says

Xyron

I can't agree more with the people who think this should be left alone. Think of what continued media attention would do to their kids? Their kids don't need to be informed that their mother was formerly a pedophile and raped their father to have them.

As far as what she actually did, yeah it's a very very sick circumstance but she has served her time and hopefully reformed her ways. Considering they've waited for eachother so they could one day get married, maybe their marriage really will last? O.o

Meh, I've had enough of thinking about this sick topic. Please CNN, leave this one be.

34

confused Im a non JW and my boyfriend is one of the JWs

by sun_dae in

i'm 21 years old and currently in a relationship with a baptised jw.

i have been studying with the jws for 2 years before we met.

well, i have to admit, i did not enjoy studying with them until about 10 months ago when i became interested of digging the "truth" although it means my sources was only the jw.

Xyron

I said "thing's people say online" which means anything people say online. Obviously I was referring to anti-witness information specifically but that goes for ANY and ALL online info, it can all be easily faked. I recall a specific incident a few years back where an email was circulating that claimed chiquita(sp?) bananas had flesh eating bacteria on them and it actually caused millions of people to stop buying bananas for a while. Made the company loose a lot of money over time....was it true? Not in the least. So could Jehovah's Witnesses or "fundamentalist doomsday adventist religions" lie over the internet too? Sure, why not? Anyone can lie over the internet. That's why I suggested getting first hand answers, either by talking to their boyfriend/girlfriend or reading it right from the bible.

48

Can you comment on this story WITHOUT being negative?

by nicolaou in

just for a moment try not to be a bitter, twisted, hate spewing apostate and read this....... .

by erin concors, tribune .

jerry and crystal baxter still look back on their first major argument as newlyweds and laugh.

Xyron

I just arrived on this forum so I wasn't exactly paying attention to how long ago that was posted but it caught my attention. People seem to think Jehovah's Witnesses despise and loathe those of other religions and wish death upon them or something....

34

confused Im a non JW and my boyfriend is one of the JWs

by sun_dae in

i'm 21 years old and currently in a relationship with a baptised jw.

i have been studying with the jws for 2 years before we met.

well, i have to admit, i did not enjoy studying with them until about 10 months ago when i became interested of digging the "truth" although it means my sources was only the jw.

Xyron

I'm not quite sure why you're calling yourself a non-witness dating a witness when you were studying before having met him and have continued to do so after meeting him.

As far as the things you've read online, keep in mind that people can say whatever they want online and don't have to worry about any consequences. So take these things with a grain of salt. Just because you read about something doesn't mean it's true. Any disgruntled ex-witness could stroll onto a forum like this and claim all sorts of abuse and corruption on the part of the society and you wouldn't be any the wiser.

If you don't enjoy your studying and you don't believe what you're being taught, then why in the world are you attending or planning on attending meetings? Look over the information and if it doesn't seem right to you then don't just go along with it. If you don't feel at home in your particular congregation either go to a different one or just leave.

I personally believe what the Jehovah's Witnesses teach but what can I tell you? If you don't believe it yourself then don't just go along with it. Best thing you can possibly do is read the bible yourself and draw your own conclusions. If you're worried that the society is printing slanted literature then don't use their bible, get a NIV or some other bible translation and study out of it. Just keep in mind that the bible is a very large book translated from manuscripts in more than half a dozen languages. Some translations may be written to portray how the translator THINKS the original text is written. Thus don't use a translation written by people you don't trust. If you don't trust the society, don't use their translation. If you don't trust the society, then who do you trust? Use their(the people you do trust) bible. Honestly the best route to go is to use many different bible translations. The variations in many bibles will make it blindingly apparent how differently the bible texts can be interpretted.

Considering you are in a relationship situation then it might me a good idea to speak with him and get his take on things. Tell him you're having doubts and rather than consult total strangers you'd rather talk to someone you feel you can trust. Tell him exactly what things you have your doubts about and let him answer them. If you really do trust him he shouldn't lie to you or try to mislead you. If you don't think he'll give you honest answers then why are you even bothering to date him? And if you really have dug up some signifigant information that would make people doubt the religion then he should see that when he tries to answer your questions and doubts. If he totally seperates himself from you because you have doubts instead of trying to find answers with you then you shouldn't date that kind of person anyway.

48

Can you comment on this story WITHOUT being negative?

by nicolaou in

just for a moment try not to be a bitter, twisted, hate spewing apostate and read this....... .

by erin concors, tribune .

jerry and crystal baxter still look back on their first major argument as newlyweds and laugh.

Xyron

Now, to the Jehovah's Witnesses, I'd want to ask:

Can you comment on this story WITHOUT being negative? That would be an interesting question, indeed!

115

Dating a JW info

by Lady Lee in

other than telling a person to run:what do you think a person (who knows nothing about the jws) needs to know if they are getting involved with a jw.what would be helpful to them to end things before they get further involved?what will help them if they decide to go further and marry this jw?what challenges would a non-jw woman have if she gets involved with the jw man?what about having children and the struggles that will develop from that?.

if you think of anything else that would be halpful please add it to the thread.

i would like to have a lot of this info in one thread besides some of the great "dating a jw" threads we already have in the best of section.

Xyron

Some people tend to be motivated by their own opinions and experiences you can't always trust what people are telling you. Especially on the internet....considering there's no obligation to tell the truth since they'll likely never ever meet you or have to deal with any consequences. If your beliefs and your boyfriend's beliefs differ I suggest you get several different bibles of different translations and do some digging. Lay out points where you all can't agree and see what the bible has to say about it.

I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I'm not suggesting that you consult the watchtower or reasoning book, I'm suggesting the opposite. If you want an untainted opinion you can't read bible literature because that's what it is...an opinion. Read the bible and draw your own conclusions. If you don't believe in the bible or religion in general I don't know what to tell you. If you're agnostic/atheist then I suggest you start by going over a lot of information in the area of evolution. Look for inconsistencies and places where they contradict one another or skip explaining something because it can't be explained appropriately. If you feel that evolution isn't true then life had to get here somehow so that narrows things down to about 50million religions that teach some sort of creationism.

I believe you mentioned being catholic earlier though so I take it you believe in god and the bible. Considering that though, I can't fathom why you would abhor the witnesses so badly. I would comment on my feelings about the Catholic religion but somehow I think the free exchange of opinions would be strongly discouraged here unless it consists of "Jehovah's Witnesses suck! Nyaaahhhh!!!!"

If you're wondering how a Jehovah's Witness managed to end up here, I was reading some information about the scientologists to see what they believe in. I'd heard of them before and seen stars like John Travolta on TV profess to be one but didn't really know anything about them. Since most things I'd read seemed to point to the religion being an money grubbing cult I decided to do a google search for lists of cults and when looking over the first one I clicked on Jehovah's Witnesses poped up so I decided to click out of sheer curiosity and ended up at this forum.

40

What happens when a JW wants to be with a non JW? PLEASE RESPOND

by kristina24/7 in

ok i am a 16 year old female i love with a 16 year old male.

lol that sounds funny since everyone thinks a 16 year old can't be in love.

i understand why but let's face it now a days anything is possible.

Xyron

If you are a Jehovah's Witness and you date someone who is not, you are breaking a rule. I don't care to try and explain or justify this rule, but I'm telling you now, that's how it is.

If he's dating you and is a Jehovah's Witness, he undoubtedly knows good and well about this rule so the fact that he's dating you means he doesn't have a very strong belief in the religion.

You can approach the situation in a number of ways. I don't know what your current religious affiliation is but if you're a christian of some sort I suggest you study the bible independant of any relgious literature of any kind. Both of you work together to decide what the right religion for you all is. If it happens to be Jehovah's Witnesses, then so be it.

As far as what will happen to him goes, he can only be disfellowshipped if he is a baptised Jehovah's Witness. The elders of his congregation will likely seek to speak with him and share some scriptures and advice with him but he doesn't have to accept. I admit, the Whole situation will probably be sticky because his whole family are Witnesses but it's something you'll have to deal with. His family may avoid speaking with him in the future if he chooses to leave the religion but more likely they will strongly disapprove and continue to associate with him. At the very least they are obligated to care for their son until he comes of age to leave home(18 years old). I've seen various incidents like this and they are rarely as big of a deal as people think.

I have a friend who is african american and he basically left the religion, hanging out with his cousin who got him into a variety of seedy activities. When he left he was younger and I don't recall anything happening really because at the time his parents and himself weren't going to meetings but once a month or less anyhow. Recently though he decided that he should give the religion a second chance since his grandfather seemed to believe it so whole heartedly. He views his grandfather as a very wise person and knew he wouldn't blindly follow anything yet he had been a witness for many years. Since then, he's been baptized and about 2 weeks ago was appointed as a ministerial servant. So leaving the religion doesn't always result in horrible conflicts and he could return later if he feels it's the right course for him.

I know another fellow who also happens to be african american and he's currently living in an apartment with a woman who is not a Jehovah's Witness. He was raised as a Jehovah's Witness but was never baptized. The elders have tried to contact him but he has avoided them. Last I saw him, me and my mother were eating at a tumbleweed and he wandered over and talked to us. He just so happened to be working there as a waiter. He was friendly and we spoke with him. I hadn't seen him at meetings in over a year so I was glad to see him again. His mother still speaks with him and he talks to his siblings as well, some of whom are witnesses and some arn't.

In both of these situations though the person wasn't baptized so less stress was created. This is because a baptism is your way of dedicating your life to god. Hence why Jehovah's Witnesses have people go through a process instead of being baptized in the first 5 minutes of their first meeting, or sprinkled with holy water as babies. If you make this dedication and then leave the religion you are turning your back on that commitment, thus why it's considered more serious. If your boyfriend isn't baptised you shouldn't encounter much difficulty...at least hopefully you won't.

16 IS a little young to be so commited but don't let anyone tell you you're too young to understand love. Some people mature more quickly than others and age has nothing to do with understanding love. What it does usually have to do with is being mature enough to handle a serious relationship and make it work. I've personally avoided dating and hunting for a marriage mate because I don't think I can handle such a serious relationship just yet and I'm 19. I may be married by the time I'm 25 but I have no intentions of rushing things because of out of control human hormones.

39

Help me prove to my bf that defellowshipping happens

by MM090503 in

hi all.. many of you have probably seen my posts on here before, but if you haven't let me reinterate my story in short for you.. i am currently dating a wonderful guy, but the problem is he has been considering becoming a jw.

he has studdied with them for about a year.

because of me has agreed to do some religion searching and figure out what he really believes.

Xyron

Alright, I'm just gonna ignore the crap I've seen spewed thus far.... I am personally a Jehovah's Witness and I can confirm that disfellowshipping does happen. If your boyfriend thinks it doesn't, his head has been under a rock. Despite my irritation at some of the things said in this thread so far I won't bother commenting on my opinion of disfellowshipping but it DOES happen. I have 2 very close friends whose mother has been disfellowshipped 3 times and is still disfellowshipped. There are a myriad of other incidents of disfellowshipping that I've heard of and seen myself. It happens...