I would like to second this motion. Get out on your own, don't let the lies of the Borg (aka Watchtower) crush your soul to point of becoming disfellowshipped because you have slowly pulled away in search of sanity. It is never too late to rebuild your life. It is better to come to the realization you are in a mind control cult and get out on your own terms. If you are too afraid to read the mountains of evidence re: the Watchtower being a dysfunctional, unhealthy mind control cult, try reading something that has nothing to do with the Watchtower, "Combatting Cult Mind Control" by Steven Hassan. This was a former Unification Church (Moonies) member's journey in and out of this obvious cult. When I read the book, I thought, wow, you can replace any reference to the Unification Church with the Watchtower and you have the same story.
Maybe getting out is merely going about the business of using your God given mind to pursue the life God meant for you, i.e., pursuing an education, a career, a family, travelling, hobbies, making a real difference in the world etc, without being disfellowshipped so you don't lose your family. In retrospect, I am glad that I did everything I was suppose to as a young man the Watchtower told me to, I initially did not go to college, I put "Jehovah first" by pioneering and going to Bethel and I soon found out what a horrific lie it was. I soon realized how the Watchtower merely takes the disenfranchised of society, i.e., fatherless boys, minorities, etc., and uses them as slaves while the children of elders pursue college, careers, families etc. and become the biggest hypocrites the society has. I am glad I got out when I did and finished college and pursued a life, but the anger of having three uneducated monkeys (elders) pry into my personal life and give me the death sentence was a hard thing to experience. I would like to see the statistics of how many ex Bethelites, pioneers, missionaries etc. are no longer in the Borg, I am sure it is very high because the only way to stay sane in the Watchtower is to be the average elder hyporcrite who encourages fatherless boys, minorities, disenfranchised etc. to give their lives over to the cult while they live as if the end is not really coming.
Would you work for a company that as a condition of your employment you are not allowed to speak to any former employees or read anything about the company that is not sanctioned by the company? I would hope you would say, "Of course not, sounds like they have something to hide," why not do the same for your religion?
If you can't investigate your religion, all I can suggest is give it all you have, the Watchtower has been preaching the end is near and you should do everything the Watchtower tells you to do, give up everything to preach the good news; pioneer, stay in Bethel, don't pursue an education (unless your father is an elder, then it is OK, but if you are a "fatherless boy" or a minority or white in a lower social economic class, you will definately be looked down on will soon be "marked"), a family, a career etc.