Posts by LongHairGal

33

Pioneer couple sense of entitlement

by nowwhat? in

so there's this middle age pioneer couple.

he works part time and the wife doesn't work at all.

their daughter is getting married and even though it is known they go on multiple vacations a year, they expect the grooms parents to pay for 100% of the wedding!

LongHairGal

DESIROUS OF CHANGE:

Yes, I remember the term ‘Gleaning’. I always loved how they tried to shoehorn a scripture from ancient times and tried to make it fit in modern times. As far as I was concerned: Let any of these people who want to ‘glean’ (instead of having a career/decent job) go and glean off their so-called spiritual friends who invited them to all those gatherings!.. They better Not be looking at anybody who they criticized for working!

FOOLEDNOMORE:

Understood that you are not a charity and you certainly don’t ‘owe’ anybody anything - regardless of what any would-be moocher or jealous individual anywhere thinks!

As for the sense of ‘entitlement’ that some JWs had.. I was appalled at what I saw. As others have said, not every pioneer was like this. Some were dignified and took care of themselves. But, these were usually older people in retiree category or a woman with a ‘worldly’ husband who supported her. The others were younger and probably shouldn’t have even been on the pioneer list. Remember ‘count the cost’? Nobody paid attention to that. But I did. I knew I had to work full-time. Got a lot of flack and condemnation for it but all these years later it paid off and their arrogant words mean nothing.

39

why celebrate xmas?

by enoughisenough in

many on here are ex jw....they have left the jws because of coming to find out the many false indoctrinations.

one of the things learned as a jw is that there isn't anything true about xmas being the birth of jesus.

( matt chapter 2 tells a whole different narrative about the baby jesus than what is portrayed by the christian churches) they learn the ways that are celebrated are pagan practices jesus told the samaritan woman that god wanted to be worshipped in spirit and it truth.

LongHairGal

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH:

Many ex-JWs don’t celebrate Christmas because they never did when they were children and that’s fine. My family did so I have happy memories.

Some, like yourself, say it’s ‘pagan’ and you want to serve God in ‘spirit and truth’. A lot of Witnesses think they are purists with regard to their religion. First of all, many things have pagan origin (the calendar for one). You’d have to get off the planet to escape it. But, remember, the JW religion differs for the sake of being different!.. Just because they got rid of the statues, don’t celebrate the holidays and call their building a kingdom hall instead of a ‘church’ doesn’t necessarily mean their beliefs are correct.

With regard to Christmas and the holidays: I believe the religion does not want their followers to celebrate them because they do NOT want them associating with non-JW families and friends.. In my opinion, they are afraid once JWs experience real love and friendship with people who are not judging them - they may not want the religion anymore!

In my case, they made a real effort back in the day to get me to stop my associating with relatives & people not in the JW religion. Meanwhile, I had no real friends at the hall..I had a rude awakening one holiday season when I was left alone staring at four walls. Believe me, I hold this against them almost as much as them knocking me for having my job!.. All this was intended to isolate me.

That’s why when I ‘Faded’ years ago the first thing I did was send out Christmas cards and rekindled old relationships before it was too late!

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

RATTIGAN350:

Sorry! What you said isn’t totally accurate! It’s superficial and doesn’t tell the whole story.

Yes, it’s true there are many people around who have little to no savings…HOWEVER, they did not belong to the JW religion that tells people Not to plan, not to get an education and Not to get a decent job. This is a guaranteed recipe for failure!

These non-JWs predicament is partly because of an appallingly bad economy plus poor planning, etc.

Not only that, the broke baby boomers in the JW religion had a great economy back in the day but didn’t take advantage of it.. Even somebody without a degree could have a fairly decent retirement if they stayed with a job long enough!

But these JWs threw it away with both hands and made sure people like me who worked full time weren’t invited anywhere.

Are these ‘worldly’ people in the same boat now as JWs? It may seem that way but they are not hampered by a religion so at least they can take on work and not worry about ‘missing meetings’ 🙄.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

SIMON & BETH SARIM:

I mostly agree. But, there is the factor of people waking up before it’s too late!

They will have to ‘go against the grain’ and take themselves off the pioneer list and concentrate on pursuing a decent job. This will certainly invite criticism and unwanted intrusion into somebody’s life!.. They have to be courageous enough to fend off the remarks and busybodies and stay focused on what they need to do.

This will also result in their ‘popularity’ ending abruptly. They will no longer be the congregation darling invited everywhere! They will have to accept this like I did back in the day.. If I was hung up on being popular like the woman mentioned in the OP.. I would not be retired!

18

The use of "Stumbled" as a Control Technique.

by Phizzy in

i thought about this when i read the expression in another thread, "someone was stumbled", they would never tell you who the person was, and simply used it to control you, or it got worse, some times it was "you might stumble someone" .. who were these stumbling loons of which they spoke ?

not only was it a control mechanism, it encouraged you to not be your real self, ever.. i liked the response of one of my jw relatives to this, where they expected him to change the person he was, he said "these people accusing me are not perfect are they ?

no, well then, they cannot expect perfection from me".

LongHairGal

BETH SARIM:

That could be the case sometimes. But, I came to see in the JW religion it depends on who you are and WHO is bringing the ‘complaint’.

If you happen to be somebody attractive, stylish or look well off - and somebody more popular or ‘influential’ (in a bad way - like an eldress) is making a complaint (whether it’s your clothing, something you own, etc.), you might be made to feel you are in the ‘wrong’ - even if you are technically not. It could be a grey area.. Some things are none of anybody’s business and I wasn’t there to be on edge worrying about what everyone thought.

In my opinion, they went too far with this ‘stumbling’ nonsense!

18

The use of "Stumbled" as a Control Technique.

by Phizzy in

i thought about this when i read the expression in another thread, "someone was stumbled", they would never tell you who the person was, and simply used it to control you, or it got worse, some times it was "you might stumble someone" .. who were these stumbling loons of which they spoke ?

not only was it a control mechanism, it encouraged you to not be your real self, ever.. i liked the response of one of my jw relatives to this, where they expected him to change the person he was, he said "these people accusing me are not perfect are they ?

no, well then, they cannot expect perfection from me".

LongHairGal

PHIZZY:

I always thought that the ‘stumbled’ card that Witnesses play was a control mechanism. In my mind, ‘stumbling’ had to do with refraining from doing something around a person who had a problem in a certain area. For example: maybe I wouldn’t order an alcoholic beverage if I were out with a person who was trying to quit drinking.

Unfortunately, the JWs take this too far and use it to give unwanted opinions to people about everything. What I came to believe is that sometimes Witnesses were just plain ENVIOUS. If they made a remark about somebody’s stylish clothing, etc., maybe because the person looked better in clothing than they did or could afford stylish clothing. Also, with regard to somebody being talented in some area (or educated) they didn’t want to hear about it lest somebody there get hurt feelings over feeling inferior. They would be ‘stumbled’. But, this doesn’t fit in with what I consider to be stumbled!.. They should pray to Jehovah to be less jealous or envious.

FOOLEDNOMORE:

I wouldn’t have bothered with that awful JW woman either.. Let her go elsewhere. Sounds like she has a serious case of envy and some other things as well.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

DESIROUS OF CHANGE:

So, because you are able to afford a roof over your head and food on the table you are having a ‘paradise now’?🙄.. If any idiot Witnesses ever said that to me, I’d have a ready answer for them.

I would tell them that ‘They had THEIR reward in FULL when they got invited to all those gatherings/dinners and got patted on the back by clueless people there because they pioneered’.. Meanwhile, I worked and got the cold shoulder.. I’m certainly not ‘rich’ as these fools may think and have to watch my pennies, but I wouldn’t be retired if I listened to them.

Forgive me if I’m NOT interested in people there unwise enough to fall for all the hoopla who didn’t plan for their future.. Persons like this are going to have to get out and get a full-time J.O.B. (like the woman described in the OP).

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

PEACEFULPETE:

Interesting story and I’m glad you worked and got to the point you can ‘talk about retirement without panic’….Regarding what you say about some JWs who had a ‘long term plan of retirement or career’, I observed this as well.

All the older people in the congregation were either collecting their pensions or were soon about to.. They were obviously in the workforce. Why, then, would I not have been as well?? Why was I criticized for having a full time job? Maybe it was because I wasn’t a man and in the cockeyed religion they didn’t give a sh#t about women and imagined they were there to do favors (which was why I made sure I didn’t do any).

People forget one thing: even though we are approaching 2023, a single woman still has to either: (1) get married and have a man support her; OR (2) she has to get a career and support herself; and (3) she has a small window of time in which to do this. In other words, while she’s young. Otherwise, she’s Out of Luck.

The woman referred to in the Original Post is a classic example of somebody who wakes up too late.. It’s a shame that nobody in the religion was honest enough to take her aside years earlier and explain these things to her.. I know I warned several younger people back in the day.

Nobody took me aside either. I have my non-JW upbringing to credit plus some wise ‘worldly’ associates with sensible advice!.. I’m just so grateful I never listened to the religion.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

TRUTH_B_KNOWN:

I hope you are on your feet now. So, you say non-JW coworkers took you into their home, rent free? And you were ‘like a guest’. Sorry to say that this sounds like a wish TOO many Witnesses have:..living somewhere for free!

Maybe you knew when it was time to leave and didn’t overstay your welcome. Somebody else might not…This isn’t bible times…It is complicated today.

Take somebody into your home you can end up with a squatter you can’t get rid of - or worse. (Also, it should be the religion itself that has programs to help people, but it does not.).. What about people like myself who got knocked for working and faced shunning? Do you imagine THEY should open their home???? 🤣 I don’t think so..Their ‘spiritual’ friends better help them. I might take a relative in for a while.

HIDDLESWIFE:

Yes, it sounds about right that she’d be working full time til 70+. It would have been FAR better if she did it at a young age instead of wasting her time daydreaming - and in pursuits that got her nowhere! ..What a mistake to be looking for approval from strangers.. This is a grey area that is not touched on: JWs will not be supporting anybody.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

HIDDLESWIFE:

My favorite topic..As somebody who was criticized/shunned years ago in the congregation because I refused to quit my full time job, stories like this interest me.

I was treated badly in the religion and hardly invited anywhere. In contrast, you mention your relative ‘was happy for a long time and her popularity skyrocketed’. Now, she is waking up.. As you say, she now sees that all the things she did, activities and donations, etc.. “have not helped her in any shape, form or fashion”. You mention that family not even in the religion have to help her financially!

If I had listened and caved in to all the pressure years ago by the religion to quit my full time job, I would not be retired..This is a very sobering and scary thought.. When you really think about it, of what value were people’s opinions there or if they cheered her on or patted her on the back?.. What value is it if she got invited to gatherings that I was not invited to?.. All this means ZERO today.

I’m sorry for her and I am sure there are many Witnesses in the same predicament. She did ALL that work and knocked herself out for a handful of wishes.

I hope that she is able to do a little something towards retirement income. It may be too late to totally catch up but every little bit helps. Good luck to her.