Posts by LongHairGal

18

The use of "Stumbled" as a Control Technique.

by Phizzy in

i thought about this when i read the expression in another thread, "someone was stumbled", they would never tell you who the person was, and simply used it to control you, or it got worse, some times it was "you might stumble someone" .. who were these stumbling loons of which they spoke ?

not only was it a control mechanism, it encouraged you to not be your real self, ever.. i liked the response of one of my jw relatives to this, where they expected him to change the person he was, he said "these people accusing me are not perfect are they ?

no, well then, they cannot expect perfection from me".

LongHairGal

BETH SARIM:

That could be the case sometimes. But, I came to see in the JW religion it depends on who you are and WHO is bringing the ‘complaint’.

If you happen to be somebody attractive, stylish or look well off - and somebody more popular or ‘influential’ (in a bad way - like an eldress) is making a complaint (whether it’s your clothing, something you own, etc.), you might be made to feel you are in the ‘wrong’ - even if you are technically not. It could be a grey area.. Some things are none of anybody’s business and I wasn’t there to be on edge worrying about what everyone thought.

In my opinion, they went too far with this ‘stumbling’ nonsense!

18

The use of "Stumbled" as a Control Technique.

by Phizzy in

i thought about this when i read the expression in another thread, "someone was stumbled", they would never tell you who the person was, and simply used it to control you, or it got worse, some times it was "you might stumble someone" .. who were these stumbling loons of which they spoke ?

not only was it a control mechanism, it encouraged you to not be your real self, ever.. i liked the response of one of my jw relatives to this, where they expected him to change the person he was, he said "these people accusing me are not perfect are they ?

no, well then, they cannot expect perfection from me".

LongHairGal

PHIZZY:

I always thought that the ‘stumbled’ card that Witnesses play was a control mechanism. In my mind, ‘stumbling’ had to do with refraining from doing something around a person who had a problem in a certain area. For example: maybe I wouldn’t order an alcoholic beverage if I were out with a person who was trying to quit drinking.

Unfortunately, the JWs take this too far and use it to give unwanted opinions to people about everything. What I came to believe is that sometimes Witnesses were just plain ENVIOUS. If they made a remark about somebody’s stylish clothing, etc., maybe because the person looked better in clothing than they did or could afford stylish clothing. Also, with regard to somebody being talented in some area (or educated) they didn’t want to hear about it lest somebody there get hurt feelings over feeling inferior. They would be ‘stumbled’. But, this doesn’t fit in with what I consider to be stumbled!.. They should pray to Jehovah to be less jealous or envious.

FOOLEDNOMORE:

I wouldn’t have bothered with that awful JW woman either.. Let her go elsewhere. Sounds like she has a serious case of envy and some other things as well.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

DESIROUS OF CHANGE:

So, because you are able to afford a roof over your head and food on the table you are having a ‘paradise now’?🙄.. If any idiot Witnesses ever said that to me, I’d have a ready answer for them.

I would tell them that ‘They had THEIR reward in FULL when they got invited to all those gatherings/dinners and got patted on the back by clueless people there because they pioneered’.. Meanwhile, I worked and got the cold shoulder.. I’m certainly not ‘rich’ as these fools may think and have to watch my pennies, but I wouldn’t be retired if I listened to them.

Forgive me if I’m NOT interested in people there unwise enough to fall for all the hoopla who didn’t plan for their future.. Persons like this are going to have to get out and get a full-time J.O.B. (like the woman described in the OP).

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

PEACEFULPETE:

Interesting story and I’m glad you worked and got to the point you can ‘talk about retirement without panic’….Regarding what you say about some JWs who had a ‘long term plan of retirement or career’, I observed this as well.

All the older people in the congregation were either collecting their pensions or were soon about to.. They were obviously in the workforce. Why, then, would I not have been as well?? Why was I criticized for having a full time job? Maybe it was because I wasn’t a man and in the cockeyed religion they didn’t give a sh#t about women and imagined they were there to do favors (which was why I made sure I didn’t do any).

People forget one thing: even though we are approaching 2023, a single woman still has to either: (1) get married and have a man support her; OR (2) she has to get a career and support herself; and (3) she has a small window of time in which to do this. In other words, while she’s young. Otherwise, she’s Out of Luck.

The woman referred to in the Original Post is a classic example of somebody who wakes up too late.. It’s a shame that nobody in the religion was honest enough to take her aside years earlier and explain these things to her.. I know I warned several younger people back in the day.

Nobody took me aside either. I have my non-JW upbringing to credit plus some wise ‘worldly’ associates with sensible advice!.. I’m just so grateful I never listened to the religion.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

TRUTH_B_KNOWN:

I hope you are on your feet now. So, you say non-JW coworkers took you into their home, rent free? And you were ‘like a guest’. Sorry to say that this sounds like a wish TOO many Witnesses have:..living somewhere for free!

Maybe you knew when it was time to leave and didn’t overstay your welcome. Somebody else might not…This isn’t bible times…It is complicated today.

Take somebody into your home you can end up with a squatter you can’t get rid of - or worse. (Also, it should be the religion itself that has programs to help people, but it does not.).. What about people like myself who got knocked for working and faced shunning? Do you imagine THEY should open their home???? 🤣 I don’t think so..Their ‘spiritual’ friends better help them. I might take a relative in for a while.

HIDDLESWIFE:

Yes, it sounds about right that she’d be working full time til 70+. It would have been FAR better if she did it at a young age instead of wasting her time daydreaming - and in pursuits that got her nowhere! ..What a mistake to be looking for approval from strangers.. This is a grey area that is not touched on: JWs will not be supporting anybody.

42

WT Ruining Members' Futures

by HiddlesWife in

what i mean by the title of this thread is what has happened to a relative of mine, one who is really upset about this factor:.

this relative is a distant cousin on my mother's side of the family.

she studied as a child and got baptized at 14 1/2 years old.

LongHairGal

HIDDLESWIFE:

My favorite topic..As somebody who was criticized/shunned years ago in the congregation because I refused to quit my full time job, stories like this interest me.

I was treated badly in the religion and hardly invited anywhere. In contrast, you mention your relative ‘was happy for a long time and her popularity skyrocketed’. Now, she is waking up.. As you say, she now sees that all the things she did, activities and donations, etc.. “have not helped her in any shape, form or fashion”. You mention that family not even in the religion have to help her financially!

If I had listened and caved in to all the pressure years ago by the religion to quit my full time job, I would not be retired..This is a very sobering and scary thought.. When you really think about it, of what value were people’s opinions there or if they cheered her on or patted her on the back?.. What value is it if she got invited to gatherings that I was not invited to?.. All this means ZERO today.

I’m sorry for her and I am sure there are many Witnesses in the same predicament. She did ALL that work and knocked herself out for a handful of wishes.

I hope that she is able to do a little something towards retirement income. It may be too late to totally catch up but every little bit helps. Good luck to her.

30

Did it ever become unbearable to attend another Kingdom Hall meeting?

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

it's becoming unbearable for me to attend another meeting.

i dread coming to the weekly sunday public talk and watchtower study.

the talks are ''repeats'' of a ''repeat.

LongHairGal

GORB:

The 1995 Generation teaching also did it for me as well. My time in the Witness religion was truly Over…I was probably approaching the status of ‘PIMO’ before that with all the garbage I went through. But, when I heard this nonsense - I knew I had to get the hell out, and ‘Faded’..It was about time.

This teaching also caused many other JWs to leave, even if it was a delayed reaction. I’m sure it wasn’t as many as who left after the 1975 failure, but it was a considerable amount. Any other JWs who had a functioning brain knew they had to do something about planning for their retirement.

30

Did it ever become unbearable to attend another Kingdom Hall meeting?

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

it's becoming unbearable for me to attend another meeting.

i dread coming to the weekly sunday public talk and watchtower study.

the talks are ''repeats'' of a ''repeat.

LongHairGal

RULES & REGULATIONS:

Right before I started my ‘Fade’ I was afraid my facial expressions at what I was hearing from the podium would be noticed.

I had no family there (thankfully) and there was no excuse for me to still be sitting there wasting my time and making myself nauseous. Very soon thereafter I stopped going.

9

When The SHTF.

by Lost in the fog in

we have several non-jdub friends who are busy stockpiling foods and goods for the impending societal collapse.

some are happy enough to be called preppers, others are not, but say that looking at the deteriorating condition of the world that it's only a matter of time before the shtf and they want to be prepared to protect themselves and their families when it happens.. contrast that to the jdubs who are actively telling people that the end of the world is coming, but aren't preparing in a practical way because they have been brainwashed by a "jehovah has always protected his servants" mindset from the gb at hq (who laughingly have no reason to be concerned because they're hoping for a quick getaway up to heaven when the jw 'end of the world' comes!).

the most the average jdub has is a go-bag rucksack in case they have to quickly leave their house in the event of a natural disaster like a flood or a wildfire.. isn't it better to be safe than sorry?

LongHairGal

LOST IN THE FOG:

In the case of some JWs, they act like it’s going to be Exodus II and that some miraculous event is going to occur!.. My question to one of them was: where are you going?

Other than that, I do see the sense of being prepared at least to the best of your ability. There is a YouTube video I like with a sensible guy called 13 Things Not to Do When the SHTF. It’s practical advice that anybody can use. We can’t all be true preppers because what if someone lives in an apartment. They obviously can’t have an underground bunker, etc.

He makes a good point that it should be about sheltering in place with your supplies, unless somebody is forced to leave.. If people bug out and hit the road they have to have a destination..or else they are just a ‘glorified refugee’.. (I’m sure there is also the danger of what people would encounter on the roads on their way to wherever.😮)

25

How are things in bethel right now?

by Hellothere in

any news how things are at bethel just now?

been thinking, strange they have gb members giving speeches when they look so depressed.

but maeby there is not many others too choose from.

LongHairGal

FISHERMAN:

So, you insist on believing there is ‘No downsizing’ at bethel and that word is an ‘excuse’ to spare people’s feelings..So, Therefore, ALL the people let go in the last decade or so had a ‘personal fault or negativity’ which led to them being kicked out.. It’s very loyal of you to keep defending the religion and denying that they couldn’t possibly 🙄 engage in the cruel worldly practice of downsizing. Nah, not them!

I’ve been out of the religion over 22 years. In that time I did run into ex-bethelites. They were younger and I don’t know if they left voluntarily or were asked to leave. One thing: they were reluctant to talk about their experience and I sensed it wasn’t all good.. So, surely some Do leave because either bethel wasn’t what they wanted Or they didn’t get along for whatever reason. As you said, people come and go there.

I don’t believe as you do and I’m still of the opinion they were mostly let go because of downsizing/restructuring/cost cutting. In the case of those older ones: if they had some personal fault or negative aspect, I imagine they would have been sent home ages ago. I can’t imagine bethel suffered the presence of anybody they didn’t like for decades.

I’m curious to know what other people on the forum have to say about this. I don’t see the sense of going back and forth on this with you. So, let’s hear it from other posters here!