Posts by Caole

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

Brilliant Thoughts By Ashleigh Brilliant

According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.

All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.

I don't have any solution but I certainly admire the problem.

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

In order to keep an open mind, I am trying to avoid learning anything.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.

Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide, your absence.

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove.

The task I've been given seems absurd: To wait here on earth until I no longer exist.

Having failed to conquer myself, my best hope now is to arrange an alliance with myself.

The things I fear may all be imaginary, so what I fear most is my imagination.

I'm going to spend the rest of my life in the future, and possibly even longer.

Not only don't I know what tomorrow will bring, I'm still not entirely certain what yesterday brought.

Do what you know is right, but try not to get caught.

Most of my problems have no answer or else the answer is worse than the problem.

Unlike most other people, I'm just an average person.

I could do great things, if I weren't so busy doing little things.

I try to take life as it comes, and just hope it keeps coming.

The really great people are the ones who know how to make the little people feel great.

Why wasn't I told about this wonderful place, and how can I prevent others from discovering it?

Despite my determination, I keep running into a serious obstacle called "other people".

It always helps prove how right you are if you wave your arms and jump and scream.

Well, if you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.

You can't just suddenly be my friend. You have to go through a training period.

86

Submit your favorite quote!

by Spartacus in

jw
friends

when a difficulty is deep and painful, the triumph is glorious and jubilant.. -spartacus 2001

Caole

I may be stupid, but at least I'm not attractive.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Why can't you be a non-conformist like everybody else?

And you expect mere proof to sway my opinion?

10

How would YOU interpret these lyrics? Care to try?

by Yadirf in

jw
friends

are you one that really listens to the words of the songs you hear?.

please pull up the url, and give me your ideas as to the meaning of the lyrics that you will find there.

also, you can listen to a portion of the song.. http://4heavens.homestead.com/6.html.

Caole

Good call Somebody

http://www.bergen.com/yourtime/protest30200004308.htm

Singer-songwriter John Fogerty's "Who'll Stop the Rain" was a tired, hopeless allegory about the seemingly endless war...

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much.

The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation.

This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs--she's coming downstairs, he's heading up.

"Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering."I was about to commit suicide."

"I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

And just to be fair....

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. "Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But... he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What's the catch, Lord?"

"Well... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret...you know, woman to woman."

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

A funeral service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the service the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

305

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

by Seven in

happy monday!.

had no price tag.

much to her embarrassment the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear: "price check on lane thirteen, tampax, supersize.

Caole

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle
jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What in the heck am I doing?" he thought, and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before,
you can go."

The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

19

Inter-faith Relationship outside JW

by gdnubin in

i'm a catholic male,divorced w/one child from a previous marriage and my current girlfriend is a jw.

her family is also jw and i am trying to establish a relationship with her and be on good terms with her family.

anyone with a similar experience, please reply this message and tell me the result.. thanks.

Caole

Hi Gdnubin, I'm sorry for being so pessimistic earlier. To be honest with you, I wasn't going to respond to your post at all. I've seen posts like yours before(on other boards), and somebody always comes along that has more experience in the situation than I do. I remember 2 posters in particular that might be of help(Focus and Gretchen18), but I don't know if they post on this board.

Just for the record...I wouldn't have been so pessimistic if you wouldn't have said 2 things...

I know for a fact that she is TOTALLY committed to the religion and so is her family.

and...

...she feels like she has DISHONORED her GOD.

Larc was correct...it would be a different situation altogether if she wasn't totally committed to the religion.

Well, that's my 2 cents, for what it's worth(probably around 2 cents)

Gdnubin...Aud8...I hope that you are both successful in keeping these relationships going! Take care!

Caole

19

Inter-faith Relationship outside JW

by gdnubin in

i'm a catholic male,divorced w/one child from a previous marriage and my current girlfriend is a jw.

her family is also jw and i am trying to establish a relationship with her and be on good terms with her family.

anyone with a similar experience, please reply this message and tell me the result.. thanks.

Caole

Gdnubin...Of course you accepted her...why wouldn't you? It's not like JWs have the plague or something They do, however, have teachings that make this sort of relationship with "worldy" people next to impossible. I'm not saying that it can't happen...I'd love it if you proved me wrong...but given the circumstances in your situation? If I could figure a way for you and her to be happily together, without her being DA'd or DF'd, and with your relationship being accepted by her family and congregation...I'd be a very happy man...and I'd be on the main page telling everybody, "psst...I finally figured it out".

19

Inter-faith Relationship outside JW

by gdnubin in

i'm a catholic male,divorced w/one child from a previous marriage and my current girlfriend is a jw.

her family is also jw and i am trying to establish a relationship with her and be on good terms with her family.

anyone with a similar experience, please reply this message and tell me the result.. thanks.

Caole

Hi Gdnubin, I was in a similar situation years ago, except she was the one that was divorced w/kids, none of her family were JW's, and she hadn't been baptised yet. I didn't care what religion she was involved with. I didn't really know much about JWs(except that they made house calls), and was confident that we could work around the whole religion thing. After all...love conquers all, right? Well, maybe in a perfect world, but unfortunately, not always in this one.

I'm sorry...I hate to be negative sounding...ever...but I think you're fighting a losing battle. Would you continue doing something if you thought that you were dishonoring God? Do you remember how confusing your first relationship was? I can imagine the pain that you've been through, but if she really loves you(and I don't doubt for a minute that she does), I can't begin to imagine the pain that she's going through. Ultimately, she's the one that has to make the hard choices...families will have to live with the consequences...and I'm sure that she's fully aware of that.

Once again...I hate sounding negative...but if there's one thing that I've learned in all of this, it's that sometimes it's best to just let go.