Cordy I'm impressed that you want to buy into this issue so early on! I'm just barely managing to breathe in and out right now, I can't even imagine wanting to open a Revelation or a Daniel book.
sass_my_frass
JoinedPosts by sass_my_frass
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126
607 date
by Cordelia inive just left the jws well got dfed a month ago!
but family want me back so im trying to prove to myself that it isnt true, top get the strength not to go back,i heard the 607 date may be false, can anyone show me about that, i know exactly what the jws say and cant believe the intial date is wrong, is it?
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18
Where else will you find such true friends?
by sass_my_frass init always bugged me when i would hear or read that the only true friends you would find would be those you made in the organisation - nobody else will really stand by you when you need them.
it used to puzzle me when (prior to being disfellowshipped...) my true friends and my close loving family didn't make contact with me for years, right when i was very deeply depressed and i needed them.
certainly i could have put myself in their lives more pro-actively, but, it's a very effective control tool to tell people not to bother befriending a non-witness; even if they don't damage you spiritually, they will never be as loyal to you as your brothers and sisters.
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sass_my_frass
So where does everybody else make friends? They used to be handed to me on a plate...
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18
Where else will you find such true friends?
by sass_my_frass init always bugged me when i would hear or read that the only true friends you would find would be those you made in the organisation - nobody else will really stand by you when you need them.
it used to puzzle me when (prior to being disfellowshipped...) my true friends and my close loving family didn't make contact with me for years, right when i was very deeply depressed and i needed them.
certainly i could have put myself in their lives more pro-actively, but, it's a very effective control tool to tell people not to bother befriending a non-witness; even if they don't damage you spiritually, they will never be as loyal to you as your brothers and sisters.
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sass_my_frass
:D yeah, it's ALL kids!
I was mostly joking about that kid; I was just unlucky though. The kids on this camp were mostly ADD so they were all there but difficult/impossible to control; so the job description changed from 'enlighten and entertain' to 'maintain critical life systems for 48 hours so that parents can have a break'. This kid was Mr Tantrum, Baby Bite, Little Screamer... it reached the point where I'd have happily bound him to his bunk and fed him with a drip if it was legal. He was a bit difficult. It's the risk of having one of him that is the reason I never want to breed...
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6
Birhtday Party at Lehaa's
by Lehaa inyep, it's my little girl, georgia's, birthday today.
she turns 3. .
we're having a little party, just with the neighbours kids.
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sass_my_frass
Good to hear Lehaa!
(Thanks for putting me onto this site!!)
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18
Where else will you find such true friends?
by sass_my_frass init always bugged me when i would hear or read that the only true friends you would find would be those you made in the organisation - nobody else will really stand by you when you need them.
it used to puzzle me when (prior to being disfellowshipped...) my true friends and my close loving family didn't make contact with me for years, right when i was very deeply depressed and i needed them.
certainly i could have put myself in their lives more pro-actively, but, it's a very effective control tool to tell people not to bother befriending a non-witness; even if they don't damage you spiritually, they will never be as loyal to you as your brothers and sisters.
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sass_my_frass
It always bugged me when I would hear or read that the only True Friends you would find would be those you made in the organisation - nobody else will really stand by you when you need them. It used to puzzle me when (prior to being disfellowshipped...) my True Friends and my Close Loving Family didn't make contact with me for years, right when I was very deeply depressed and I needed them. Certainly I could have put myself in their lives more pro-actively, but, it's a very effective control tool to tell people not to bother befriending a non-witness; even if they don't damage you spiritually, they will never be as loyal to you as your brothers and sisters.
Just this weekend I worked out why they think that; that you can make the best connections with people when you are sharing some kind of adversity. If you're out on the preach with somebody, and it's not going well at all, at least you're sharing the bad experience and you're there for each other, just like a True Friend would be! Everybody who believes anything at all is going to feel better about it if they have affirmation.
I just wanted to write about it because I spent the weekend on a camp for disabled kids, caring for the most horrid little spawn of satan in town. The best moments were when I'd get a hand from one of the other carers, or we had a minute to hang with each other and assure each other that we'll get through it, we're doing okay. I got exactly the same feeling of cameraderie as I used to get out on the preach; we're all in this together, let's help each other through. We're all there for the same reasons, and we need each other's help.
It's encouraging, that even though I'm starting life from scratch, it's not so hard as I thought. Thanks to everybody here for making me feel normal!
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35
The life of a confused, proud, ignorant JW youth.
by Daunt inthis is an email my sister receieved (i know im bad but she just left it running here how can you expect me not to) talking about the "dating scene" of jw youth, specifically girls.
we all know these guys... you'd think they'd change up their routine!
theocratic lookout .
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sass_my_frass
That's amazing, I wrote the bit about the sisters! I got a version of that about five years ago, it only had the part about what kinds of brothers to avoid, and it annoyed me so much that I had to write about what kind of sisters to avoid. It's been very heavily edited and had a lot added, but... far out.
I have achieved immortality. Sorry about that kids.
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27
Were you caught, did you confess, or did you run?
by sass_my_frass inhi, fyi: d'f'd a month ago, and glad you're all here.
i'm just assessing the sum of the madness that happened since my parents guilt-tripped me into confessing what got me disfellowshipped.
i do very sharply recall that at the moment i decided to do so i had an overwhelming feeling of relief which at the time i thought was me hating the lying about what i'd done and wanting to come clean about that and clear my conscience as a witness, but have since thought might have been me hating the lying about how i feel about the organisation and wanting to come clean about that as a human, ie, whether i'd turned the corner as a witness or i was glad to be getting away from it.
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sass_my_frass
Actually, I think it was that I just couldn't keep the lies going any more, as my mum was seeing right through them. My plan was to lie, lie, lie, slowly fade away, and go to meetings with mum when she's in town once a year, but still be able to maintain contact with them all. And then my stupid overeager guilt-tripping conscience got in the way.
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27
Were you caught, did you confess, or did you run?
by sass_my_frass inhi, fyi: d'f'd a month ago, and glad you're all here.
i'm just assessing the sum of the madness that happened since my parents guilt-tripped me into confessing what got me disfellowshipped.
i do very sharply recall that at the moment i decided to do so i had an overwhelming feeling of relief which at the time i thought was me hating the lying about what i'd done and wanting to come clean about that and clear my conscience as a witness, but have since thought might have been me hating the lying about how i feel about the organisation and wanting to come clean about that as a human, ie, whether i'd turned the corner as a witness or i was glad to be getting away from it.
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sass_my_frass
Hi, fyi: d'f'd a month ago, and glad you're all here.
I'm just assessing the sum of the madness that happened since my parents guilt-tripped me into confessing what got me disfellowshipped. I do very sharply recall that at the moment I decided to do so I had an overwhelming feeling of relief which at the time I thought was me hating the lying about what I'd done and wanting to come clean about that and clear my conscience as a witness, but have since thought might have been me hating the lying about how I feel about the organisation and wanting to come clean about that as a human, ie, whether I'd turned the corner as a witness or I was glad to be getting away from it. I still don't know, I'm utterly hating being disfellowshipped and want my family back, but I know that I don't want to be reinstated unless I change something about how I feel. I'm not a good enough actress to pull off faking faith in a committee meeting; it's easy enough when you're just an invisible inactive sister who keeps her head down, but now I've got to summon the joy of the newly interested, the conviction of the newly baptised, the humility of the... that's it, that's what I'm trying to say; I'm truly repentant of what I've done, but I'm not repentant of how I feel towards the organisation. They'll smell that a mile off. It might be better for everybody if I just get on with my life and stay out.
It's a very confusing time - deciding whether I have been rejected by a cult who are wrong wrong wrong and to count my blessings and move on, or to run back to it and reject these thoughts. I think that now is the time that I finally have to face them and work through them. I am attending meetings as that is the only thing that the elders can see, but they weren't interested in what had always worried me or what my motives are, and never will be. This is something I always needed to investigate on my own but I always took the advice not to and to only research and study things from the organisation. I think that if your faith can't stand up to just a bit of questioning you need to ask yourself why you have it. So I'm not doing anything wrong now, haven't for a long time, but I shouldn't get reinstated asap for the sake of stopping the hurt within my friends and family and because I miss them. But I thought as it was happening that I'd attend the meetings anyway, regardles of how I hate them, just to get in credit for that year or two of penance you have to do before you're reinstated.
I think that I and my family might have been better off if my folks had turned a blind eye and minded their business, I'd 'repented' but we'd all be better off if I wasn't disfellowshipped. But I'd be interested to know, if anybody has done the maths; did you get caught out and hauled before the committee, did you get guilt tripped and go there yourself, or did you deliberately opt out?
Coz I'm wondering what that feeling of relief was about.
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sass_my_frass
Thanks everybody for your replies, somehow my story didn't make it on to the original post for some techo reason, all you got was the title, and then I lost the site! (Of all the most obvious site names on the web...)
Anyway, I'll sum up... Okay, I lived for a few years in doubt about The Truth and was inactive, but maintained a bit of a JW social life, not doing anything to be called a sinner for. Decided to make something happen with my life and so moved to the opposite end of the country where I could live without a JW community watching me, however by coincidence met a guy within weeks, fell for him, and didn't want the family blaming him for my leaving the truth, so I went back to meetings and tried to get him to understand it a little, so he'd understand me better. It got serious and we were talking marriage, but I thought that maybe one day in the future I'd see the light and become a real actual JW believer, and then regret being a spiritual widow. He waited a while for me to sort out my addled head, but not long enough, and we didn't make it. So that threw me, I got very deeply depressed, I resented The Truth, and moved cities again, moving in with a couple of sister friends who did their best to look like spiritual giants, but were too stupid to deal with me talking about my uncertainty. I stayed in touch with a non-witness workmate from my old city, we became close friends, and finally decided to get married. We talked about the lies we would have to tell my family in order for me to not be d'd, and neither of us liked it, but knew that it was best for everybody. My (elder) brother had his first baby a couple of months ago. Mum and Dad travelled to the other side of the country to see them, and I went up to see them too, planning to tell them about my engagement then. My family has never recovered from the split they suffered when I was considering the first guy... some deeply opposed, some okay with it, but now not talking to each other. Anyway, I told mum and dad about my fiance, they took it pretty well considering how damaged the family were the last time I considered marrying out of the Lord, but then just wouldn't mind their own business about 'how well we know each other'.... and I'm not that good a liar anyway. So I confessed to them, to the elders a few days later, relieved at no longer being a liar and respecting myself a whole lot more. We organised a committe at which I told all, including (oops), that I've Had Doubts for a while, and they disfellowshippped me. Fortunately I was already moving out of the pre-high-school-pyjama-party share house, so now I have my own life in my own place, and am planning my wedding in a few months. Me, him, his family, and maybe mum and dad will be there, although I'd prefer that they don't go, as if they do they'll lose the book study, and mum won't want it back until I'm reinstated, and I could do without that little bit of emotional blackmail. Yes, I have decided to play the game of attending meetings until I burst a vein or am reinstated, whichever comes first. I figure that three years of it is as much as I can give it. I just hate how much my mum is suffering from this, she's very fragile, I'm doing it for her. If after three years I can't get away with pretending to be a believer, I'll give it up, but I've got to at least try hey. What do you think? Am I totally kidding myself?
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