I went to the memorial. I listened to the talk while my husband was making complaints about what things he found wrong in the speaker's discourse. I tried to get him to be quiet so as not to disturb the others. It's just rude to try and debate during the discourse at the front of the kingdom hall where everyone could hear you.
That put aside...before the meeting started I was basically back door telling some people off because I could talk to my husband, and no one else dare interrupt my little speech. I basically said that every single JW behaves as a hypocrite when they judge their brother so harshly. I know that the Christ would have been surprisingly kind to me despite my sins knowing my situation personally. Humans are too dogmatic. To them, it has to be one way or the other. I had had my fill of being left out and neglected socially due to being from a single parent family and having been molested. There was no way that I could neglect my own spiritual/mental/emotional needs and continue boxed in the non-marriageable category. When the thyroid goes, sometimes it shows a deeper problem with the pituitary not sending the proper signals to the female organs to shut down excessive desire. This coupled with years of neglect and criticism just threw me into a big tizzy. I had to break free from what was killing me. I didn't want to live in sin. So, I married a good non-witness with great quality. Anyway, the brothers did not make enough concessions realizing my situation. So, I basically told them that they had given me no other choice. I had to leave for the sake of my health. I couldn't go through anymore guiltfests where I go there and suffer constant crying spells because I felt that whatever forgiveness that I received from God was taken away if I could not show these people what they wanted to see. The brothers really do not take your disabilities that seriously if you don't look disabled and have some intelligence. They just expect the same out of you as they do the rest with no real concessions. What is more, they expected me to really handle it all on my own without any real assistance. Nope, I'm never going back.
The Memorial will absolutely be my last meeting. No shame, No regrets!
If anyone's out there from Tulsa and runs into my brother Jonathan from Valley Park Cong. tell him that you know that his sister thinks of him everyday.
Cat