I took notes at every Assembly and Convention, it helped me to concentrate on what the speaker was saying. My MS Husband also used them for his part in the review... (he was always off busy somewhere). But, the Main reason I did it was because our PO would watch us to make sure we were doing it... UGH. It was STRONGLY suggested by our PO that we all sit in the same section... Better for him to keep an eye on us. ;-)
Posts by Casper
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27I always had to chuckle at this
by TooBad TooSad inat circuit and especially district assemblies so many witnesses take.
notes of what was being said at such a feverish pace that i would ask.
myself: "what are they hearing that i am not hearing that is so important.
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18
Any Other Widows Here?
by Panda inso for me it's been 9 months since mr.panda died.
people have said it would "get easier" "fade" etc.
for me none of this has occurred.
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Casper
Panda....
Again I can understand your feelings. My second Husband also died of a heart attack just as yours did. He had"Sudden Death Syndrome".. it was like living with a time bomb. There were times he would be taking a nap and pure terror would go thru me... if I couldn't tell if he was breathing... !!
But yes, a person's "Whole and Complete Life", changes in an instant. All future plans together, just gone. I felt (both times) that I was in a bubble, completely cut off from my environment. People sounded like they were talking into a tunnel, days and events blurred, I COULD NOT FEEL ANYTHING, my body was numb. That went on for quite awhile. I know now that I was in shock and it's the brain's way of filtering info... so too much doesn't get in, too fast. An odd thing to live thru tho. At times I described it as being under water, other times....as a Roller Coaster Ride..thru Hell.......
I like the idea you mentioned of writing to your Husband in a journal. I am sure that helped.
One of the things that bothered me the MOST after a few months, I couldn't tolerate being around couples. It hurt so bad. I didn't want to feel that way. But, I did. Even commercials on TV, or movies about couples...all of it had to go. It has been years for me.......and I still think of them both at least once a day.........every day. I no longer dwell or cry... memories are not as painful anymore. Pictures can be tolerated also. So yes, time does heal for the most part. It will get easier.....
The Witness religion didn't really offer any comfort...as we both know, they taught that our relationship as we knew it, was gone forever. ugh. The CO and PO came to see me afterwards... The CO told tried to offer comfort.. I asked if he had ever been in my "Shoes" and he said no, but he could empathize ...and I told him ( you are libel to say anything at a time like that)...
That he had "NO IDEA" what he was talking about..!!! And that I prayed that he never did experience it, because I didn't feel he could handle it. He didn't know what to say after that. He just prayed.. duh. Wasn't long after that, I just faded away.
I don't know what I believe spiritually.........I am so confused in that area.
Just wanted you to know that your feelings are part of it..and that you are not alone. (((Hugs)))
Sincerely,
Cas
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18
Any Other Widows Here?
by Panda inso for me it's been 9 months since mr.panda died.
people have said it would "get easier" "fade" etc.
for me none of this has occurred.
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Casper
My sincere and deepest condolences... (((Hugs))). I am not fimiliar with your backround... but for myself...... I also totally understand your feelings. I have been widowed twice. Once at 28 and again at 42.
My second husband was a Witness. To say the least, I was totally devastated both times. I was also left with a small child each time.
How I dealt with it.........hummmm... can't say I did very well either time. People say take it one day at a time... that was totally overwhelming to me. There were days when I was living 5 min. at a time and that was a struggle. I didn't want to be around people, or go places or do anything for awhile... it just hurt too much. Memories tore me apart.
I went to counseling both times.. and found that a great Help for me. I refused to take drugs to dull the pain. Talking with the couselers and allowing myself to really grieve and cry and get it out was the best for me. Not the easiest... but helped. I guess in ways I am still healing.
I feel it is true, you do become one flesh, and the part that's left has to heal. Take the time to heal your heart and mind... yes, there will be a scar.. and it will be tender for a very long time.
Cas
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Casper
I had a RV in an old run down trailer park, that I referred to as the the "Circus" trailer. The first time I went a woman answered the door with a large snake wrapped around her neck. Next a Little Person answered the door, another time there were several people in the home all doing different kinds of flexing and bending of their bodies, one was walking on his hands. The last time I was there a rather old Lady ans. the door.. her hair was long and coal black, done in Shirley Temple curls with a large red bow tied around her head. They also had a pot bellied Pig in the kitchen. All in all, they were really nice to me and always invited me in and took the mags. Eventually they moved away. I hated that, I always found them very interesting..since I never knew what I would see next. I never asked about their situation, just tried to act like all was normal.
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Casper
King of Queens
Gilmore Girls
Two and a Half Men
The show I loved the most and miss so much is ... "DeadWood"....!!!!!! (language was terrible, but loved the time period)
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31
How about another pet thread?
by Stealth453 ini have quite a collection of pets.
some quite normal, and some not so.
how about the rest of you?
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Casper
Wow...!! No Snakes or lizards for me... I would never sleep at night. I prefer feathers or fur...
We have an Amazon Parrot, two Parakeets, a long haired Guinea Pig and a couple of strays that we adopted. A cat that is a million years old (she's been here for 16 years) and a dog that I found one day that was walking down the middle of a country road. She was around 6 weeks old at the time. Now she is going on 7 years and has been a Treasure.. :)
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29
Were You Looked Down In The Hall Because Of Age, Gender, Race, $$$, Etc????
by minimus inwere you discriminated against for any reason in the "christian congregation"?
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Casper
The Congregation that I attended, were all related to one other on some level.. Big Family affair. At least half being "born-ins".
I came in from the world, along with a small handful of others. It seemed we were always on the outside looking in. I seriously feel
there is a division between those that had family in for generations or born-ins - and - those coming in from the world. It felt as tho we
were some how "Tainted" from our past experiences...and could Never measure up.
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35
What are the love names you call your pets?
by restrangled insince we have heard many bad names for humans lately in the media, i thought it would be fun to hear what we call our pets..... i have two large male (one in tact) dobermans and they are called an answer to: lovies, darlings, gooies, babies and bad boy loves.. what do you call your pets?.
r..
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Casper
restrangled,
So sorry for the loss of your African Grey, sounds like he had a great life with you and your family.
I am truly amazed at how loving a Parrot can be. A "Lot" of work, to be sure ! My own parrot was a rescue, she had been abused. We have had her for amost 2 years now and spoil her rotten. She totally rules the "Roost". (or so she thinks..lol)
Cas
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35
What are the love names you call your pets?
by restrangled insince we have heard many bad names for humans lately in the media, i thought it would be fun to hear what we call our pets..... i have two large male (one in tact) dobermans and they are called an answer to: lovies, darlings, gooies, babies and bad boy loves.. what do you call your pets?.
r..
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Casper
My Amazon Parrot, Charlie..is on occasion, called "Bird Turd" (for obvious reasons). In a very loving way, of coarse... :)
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49
What preoccupied your mind today?
by greendawn inso what was one thing that significantly preoccupied your mind today or part of today something you thought a lot about?
for me it was handing over some work on a deadline which comes up next week.
i can't go over even by one day so i better be on time.
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Casper
My Husband had to go for jury duty today for an upcoming trial involving a man accused of raping and murdering a 2 yr. old little girl in our small town. He was excused, but being in the same room with the accused, and listening to the charges really got to him. Quite an emotional day for us both.