Oooops, Here it is.
October 27, 2005
Dear Xxxxx,
I am writing this letter to you because I know Jehovah's Witnesses view the people of the world as bad because Satan is the ruler of the world and they are all controlled by Satan. You preach that they will all die soon at the hands of Jehovah at armageddon. Since I dis-associated myself, I am viewed as Apostate or as one of Satans Agents. I know this is the way you really feel and think about me because that is what you're taught. So I am puzzled as to why it's ok for me now to visit Ma at your home. It seems contradictory to have me there. It is like inviting a cohort of Satan's to your house.
Xxxxx, 10 years have passed by without me knowing where you live and certainly a lot has changed during that time.The invitation to your home does little to erase the pain from the words and actions that have been displayed to me in the past by you and the rest of the family. Let's be honest, I am dead in your eyes and in the eyes of Jehovah. So why would you even want me there?
I have not been included in your lives since I left the Watchtower. So what has changed? Don't you remember when You, Xxxxx, Xxx and Ma told me that you didn't want anything to do with me? I remember! All of you specifically said "I don't want anything to do with you", that was on August 20, 1999. Yes, it has been that long. Just over 6 years now. It was so painful to hear those words from the members of my own family. That pain is still with me today. All of you had made it perfectly clear that you did not want anything to do with me upon the termination of my membership with the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society Inc.
Many years have passed and none of you have ever called me out of real concern or to inquire about how I'm doing. Even when Uncle Xxxxxx was in the hospital, it was the Social Worker who called me, not the family. He had been in there for a whole week and all of you knew it, but decided not to tell me.
I know you want to somehow ease your conscience about not making myself available to Ma while she lives with you. It would bother my conscience too If I prevented Ma's children from seeing her in her final days. However, I can't help but know that once she passes on, everything will go back to the way it was and you and the rest of the family will dis-own me once again. I will not allow myself to be put through that pain again. I have been dis-owned once and I don't need to be dis-owned for a second time. The pain is just too much for me to bear. So I don't understand what it is that you and the family are asking of me? I don't intend on ever going back to being one of Jehovah's Witnesses. It would bother my conscience to be part of an organization that is deceptive and hypocritical.
Your religion teaches you to be no part of the world and yet, the Watchtower associated itself for 10 years with the United Nation as a NGO ( non-governmental organization) to gain Benefits. Yet, they have disfellowshipped brothers who joined the YMCA for simply wanting to use their pool. The Watchtower owns stock in Phillip-Morris (a cigarette company), and yet they will disfellowship those for smoking. they teach you that rape and child molestation are wrong and yet they tell you "do not take your brother to court it would bring reproach on Jehovah's name".
Unfortunately crimes are committed and hidden within the confines of the Watchtower corporation. You know that, just look at what happenned to XXXXX and her sisters. The Witnesses are no better than the Catholics when it comes to child abuse.
There's not much more to say. I strongly urge you and the rest of the family to check out some of these facts for yourself and examine your religion and the Watchtower Society to truly find out what goes on behind closed doors.
The reason why I waited so long to write this letter is because, I kept hoping for many years to see if the relationship between all of us would change for the better. Unfortunately it hasn't, even though I held out the possibility that somehow it would. I have come to realization that any type of "normal" relationship with you and the family is unattainable. I'm sorry to say the hope I once had is gone.
You need to know that until you are willing to accept me as a full time brother and a member of the family, I request that all of you keep to your word and have nothing to do with me. Being pulled in and out of your lives on "your terms only" just re-opens the wound I'm trying to heal. To accept the invitation now to see ma and the rest of the family "on your terms only" is too excruciatingly painful for me. Respectfully, I decline the invitation to your house.
Your Brother, XXXXX