I actually really like myself, I am so comfortable in my skin. And I think I am very funny/witty, which all my friends get a kick out of, because I always laugh very hard at my attempts of humor.
Layla33
JoinedPosts by Layla33
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34
Do you like yourslef?
by R.Crusoe ini find this question another i hate to think of!!.
i view myself through others which is a reality of zilch so it is bad karma for me to consider it!.
maybe its circumstantial of many life events but i'll bet exjws feel the power of the above dynamic as a negative force for humanitarian ectics and personal self worth!
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15
what is it that unites us?
by wings incan't be:.
if we believe in god, or if we don't (hell no on that one).
if we are hamsexual or homosexual (absolutely not).
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Layla33
We took the red pill:
The red pill is an unknown quantity. We are told that it can help us to find the truth. We don't know what that truth is, or even that the pill will help us to find it. The red pill symbolises risk, doubt and questioning. In order to answer the question, you can gamble your whole life and world on a reality you have never experienced.
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11
Resolving the problems of the Genesis account.
by Mr. Majestic ini am not trying to prove anything from what i am about to say.
for me there is nothing that is provable at the moment.
i dont do belief.
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Layla33
I consider the Gensis account a "story" about how the world began. If you look at other cultures, especially Asia, which has the longest written history in the world, then you will also encounter a story or account of how the world began, it is part of traditions in culture.
In the bible, you have the creation story for Jewish people, that was complied - if we are to believe - by Moses many many years after the supposed fact.
There has never been an issue of resolution for me, as I never remotely took it as even a fifth of truth.
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32
What is the best way to deal with the IRS?
by AK - Jeff ini will only give limited details - but let me rant a little.. wifey and i have been raising our grandkids for almost four years now.
except for a short period of time in 2005, during which time one of them lived for 8 or 10 months with her father, they have all three lived here.
we have paid all the bills, child care, tuitions, insurance, food, clothing, shelter.... on and on.
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Layla33
Get a tax attorney, preferrably one that used to work for them. There are actually a good deal of them where I live, I am sure you would be able to find ne no problem.
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18
Wife Abuse
by ZeroZen injws from what ive read seem to be very sexest they dont let women have a voice in the religion, and my friend said he was talking to a member and he said it is ok to hit and abuse your wife is this true?
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Layla33
Hit me and I'll make you a pot of grits
Hahaha, I was just watching that the other day.
Hit me, and they will be looking for the body.
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113
So... Do you think you're good looking?
by LouBelle inafter laylas' : do you think looks are important thread, thought this would be a good follow up.. personally i'm just a regular girl, nothing exception, got good teeth, i do love my hair and don't think i'm ugly, but know that i'm no stunner either .
so come on be honest - how do you rate yourselves..
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Layla33
My daddy thinks I am beautiful, haha, my grandma too, that's all that matters in the world to me.
Actually I think most times I am "cute". I have nice dimples that I really like, and a few freckles on my nose that I like as well. My favorite quality is my eyes. On my best day when I am dressed up, high heels on, nice suit, I can turn heads. When I wake up in the morning, first thing I think I look like eddie munster and someone better really like me or else they will get a shock.
Cute, yes, that's how I rate myself, about a 7.
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Did being a JW lady give you low self esteem because of dating?
by TreadClimberMaster ini remember the years that i was a witness and dating was so stressful!
i really never dated, because i truly believed that dating was reserved for marriage purposes only.
i used to think i could never attain or hope to attain to the level of perfection that certain "brothers" wanted.
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Layla33
It didn't give me a low self esteem, but I was labeled "boy crazy" because I had male friends and I loved looking at the "boys". I can't help it I have four brothers, I was always around them, but being labeled such was hard at times because I was just normal, but no one wants to even discuss such things and I was harmless, like girls that look at boy magazine or something.
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39
Having a Baby......?
by LouBelle inso i'll be turning 32 soon.
my life has been mostly pleasant.
i don't have any 5 year plan or anything like that, but i do want to be a mom no later than 34. i am single, no great love of my life, not even someone to like out there at the moment.
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Layla33
AGuest,
Again, I don't agree with you on many aspects of what you are trying to imply and honestly, however, you are more than welcome to think what you wish. You can say "good", which was not the point, you can discuss whatever you like, having two parents, a mother and a father in a child's life is the best foundation. You saying it is INAPPROPRIATE is insane to me. We are not talking about abusive situations or horrible situations, we are talking about starting, planning, considering and how you should go about it. You are bringing in other aspects of this that is not the point. Of course, when you plan you should consider having two loving parents. Just like you shouldn't sleep with a stranger and not use protection, or maybe you should, I mean maybe you will get an STD or AIDS or maybe you won't? Again, that's how your logic and deduction reads to me.
I plan my life according to the idea I have about what is best for me. I don't want to live on the street, I could panhandle, but I choose to work, that's the BEST OPTION to take care of myself. Honestly, when you tried to imply that two parents, which is exactly how we were created and what the majority, no make the ENTIRE WORLD lives by, but somehow this is inappropriate? I can't even continue responding because obviously you are either completely looking at this from the back end up or you are clearly missing my point and there is no point in continuing. Back end, taking a simply statement about parenting and bringing in worst case scenarios to validate a point you refuse to accept, no matter what other documentation is readily available. There is nothing that you can tell me about statistics, I put them there, I completely understand what they say, but obviously you will find a way to tapdance around this issue.
If you are planning to have a child, and you are in the stage where you are considering bringing a child in this world, consider giving your child the very best options. And I don't need to quote you, give other statistics, blah blah blah. At the end of the day, whenever I volunteer and mentor young women, I will continue to speak exactly as I have and there is nothing you can write that is going to disminish that or ever imply that I am somehow talking down to people, which is insane to me, but whatever you think, more power to you.
My remark is simple, two parents is the best environment to raise a child. Take any qualifier that a reasonable person would imply. I don't agree with devaluing the importance of a father in a child's life.
However, I will say I need to verify the statistics I read where it said that the majority of children today are being raised in single parent households. I couldn't verify your data and I couldn't verify mine, so there's a chance it is incorrect, but I know there are approximately 13.6 million single parents in the United States today, and those parents are responsible for raising 21.2 million children.
That is all.
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22
How important are looks to you?
by Layla33 ini am just curious how much looks and superficial things plays a part in your decisions in life.
i work with a young lady, she could be my daughter, well if i was young and out there early, and she's fresh out of college, from a sorority and let's everyone know this.
anyway, she will only talk with, be friendly with the very good looking people in the office.
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Layla33
I am just curious how much looks and superficial things plays a part in your decisions in life. Not so much the obvious, but things most people don't think about. I work with a young lady, she could be my daughter, well if I was young and out there early, and she's fresh out of college, from a sorority and let's everyone know this. Anyway, she will only talk with, be friendly with the very good looking people in the office. It's very obvious, not that anyone actually cares, but watching her was kind of funny. There are some very obviously not so attractive people in the office, and when she is with her good looking friends, one time I heard them snickering - I swore I was back in high school, which started me to think about this topic.
Would you date someone that wasn't good looking, or wasn't attractive by conventional standards? Have you ever noticed you gravitated away from people because they were unattractive? (I have a story about that) or just chosen to be with someone romantically or friendly because you were attracted to their looks (whether romantic or not)?
I have a personal story about when I was about 16 and was working at a department store. One day they hired a young black man who had some kind of skin issue that looked like burnt pieces of skin all over his face, you really couldn't even see his skin. He was the nicest person you ever wanted to meet, but I gravitated away from him because he made me uncomfortable because of his skin condition, and whenever I could I was very sharp with him and well, not nice. Then one day he just confronted me and said, "why are so mean to me? what have I done to you?" and I realized very apologetically that I was mistreating him because of the way he looked, I felt absolutely terrible about it and after that he and I became the best of friends. But for some reason whenever I think about other people doing that, I remember when I was 16 and truly not very nice to someone else.
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39
Having a Baby......?
by LouBelle inso i'll be turning 32 soon.
my life has been mostly pleasant.
i don't have any 5 year plan or anything like that, but i do want to be a mom no later than 34. i am single, no great love of my life, not even someone to like out there at the moment.
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Layla33
How often we say things without any regard for the potential and/or subsequent damage it may do to others.
Dear ones, those who believe that both a mother and a father are ultimately important severely... and unlovingly... discount those people in this world, who, in spite of not having one or the other, or both, still became decent adults. They also overlook the many, many people who had both, and still turned out wacky.
A woman CAN teach a boy how to be a man... IF she bothers to learn about men... and a man CAN teach a girl how to be a woman... IF he bothers to learn about women. In FACT, when a boy turns out negatively, it is very often due to the mother (if he didn't respect her, he most probably won't respect ANY woman), and vice versa for the girl (if he wasn't respectable and respectful, she most probably will seek out disrespectful men). There are, of course, exceptions to every rule, but this is the most truthful. It is also truthful that while two respectful/ respectable parents ARE better than one parent of any ilk, ONE respectful/respectably parent is better than TWO disrespectful/unrespectable parents, or three or four... or more.
Again, the BOTTOM line is that regardless of how many parents there are or aren't, the child must KNOW it is loved. By ONE parent, TWO... or TWENTY. The number truly doesn't matter. If there are two and the child perceives it is NOT loved... he or she will almost certainly have problems.
And for those who refer to statistics that say the lack of a father is the foundation of most of such children's problems, I would argue that it was the present parent who, rather than filling the void allowed it to cause such damage... AND/ORsociety's unfounded position that UNLESS a child HAS two parents... something is "wrong" with it. As implied by some comments here. It is THIS kind of societal judgment that undermines a child's self-esteem, second only to a parent's own corroding of it. Because it says that, in the opinion of those who supposedly "matter" (but truly, they do NOT), such child's existence is, ultimately, "wrong"... and so the child is actually "unworthy."
THAT is the message that is sent and I would implore those who think in this way to STOP IT. It is evil and dark as it sends TO such children the message that they are INFERIOR, UNWORTHY, MISSING SOMETHING... and missing out on something. It is cruel and unloving. And if YOU believe it... and voice it... most assuredly YOUR children believe it... and voice it... to children they know in this position.
You have NO idea who is lurking here, reading this... and I have no doubt that some are from single-parent families, for whatever reason. If you had the privilege of having two good parents, great! If you are in a situation where you are one of two (hopefully, good) parents, excellent! Wonderful! However, you are in NO position to decry those who are not or who come from such a different situation.
And the fact that many of the children who "come through the system" have fatherlessness as a problem is not indicative of anything, for there are many, many more who never even enter "the system."
Forgive me, but I tend to get a little incensed when it comes to undermining the worth of a child... ANY child.
I bid you all peace.
SA, a slave of Christ
You are so incorrect about interpreting what other people are saying, I truly don't know where to begin. Okay, here's what I want to say; I will not apologize for my position, that's the first thing. Secondly, I have never ever treated another individual with disrespect nor inferred that they were less than because of who their parents were, don't you get on a sermon and imply otherwise, you don't know me. But let me help you out, I have given the clothes out of my closest, the last dollars in my pocket, worked until midnight, hugged children and their parents, watched babies, went to battle so many times for others I have the scars to show for it and I mean that more than figuratively. I have the right to believe that when someone brings a child in this world that they need to start with the a great foundation. I mentored young females, I went in on my days off and spoke to them, they touched me right to the inner part of my soul, I shed their tears with them, I heard their thoughts because no one gives a damn about them because they are poor, are whatever blah blah society thinks or feels. But when I gave my presentations, when I spoke to them about womanhood, I took the time to encourage PROACTIVE parenting, I took the time to talk to them about BEST OPTIONS.
I so disagree with the assertion that a woman can teach a man to be a man. I will explain: There are fundamental things that any human being can give to another human being, but when it comes to certain types of bonding, certain types of situations and growing pains, there are some things only another man can understand because HE EXPERIENCED IT. My father couldn't tell me about facing the world as a woman, he could give me love yes, he could teach me strength yes, he could teach me fundamental human things, but gender specific, he was on the outside and I needed my mother to step in and guide me.
I don't just give the lip service, if you had any idea how many grown big behind men have collapsed in my arms, eyes get all hallow talking about missing their father or having one there in their lives to take them fishing or shoot a ball with them or listening to such anger and resentment and a type of detachment about their own manhood because a father wasn't there, you wouldn't even begin a sermon like this. Did I tell them they were less than because of it, no! Did I treat them any differently, absolutely not! And you are completely and I want to emphasize COMPLETELY incorrect about the world making children from one parent households feel less than, it's not the 1960's, the majority of children born today in the US are born to single parents. I won't even begin to talk about the status of children today in schools all over the country, inner city as well as suburbs. I have had my former clients tell me it is the "in thing", they want to have a baby, much like they are talking about getting another doll to have, hold and cuddle at night. As if that is all it is to have a child! Of course when the "cuddle baby" is too old for that, the parents gets resentful (I have seen that too many times) and generations of mothers in social services of every kind, still stuck in the flux of life because the one and only thing they know how to do is get pregnant and have babies.
Now if someone thinks I am attacking single parents, sorry I am not. I am saying that the best option for a child is to have a father and a mother in their life. If not, two parents giving them the support and love they need. Every study I have read confirms that. Of course in the real world, things happen and you adjust, but why start of saying, "I don't think a father or father figure (someone committed to being in that child's life) is important", I have a problem with that. And that is the crux of my entire criticism. Not that she shouldn't do it, because she's grown and can do what she wants, but I have seen way too many "statistics" and just wanted to highlight the importance of having a father in a child's life. And sorry they statistics are very high.
- 80% of all adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes.
· 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes.
· 85% of all youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
· 80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes.
· 72% of adolescent murderers grew up without fathers.
· 71% of all pregnant teenagers lack a father.
· 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes.(US Statistics)
An analogy: If you went in a situation and say, HEY I think I am going to just off this cliff without a parachute then I will not feel bad for saying, I think you need to plan to have a parachute before you jump, now sure some people can survive the jump, but I can guarantee that you are going to be at an advantage for having a parachute on your back.
Now, I remember one client I had when I first started, a young man that had gotten into a life of drugs, crime, etc. I helped him get into college, which was difficult, I helped him find a job and another counselor (male) and I, talked to him, encouraged him, he was very bitter about not having a father in his life, very bitter and he would say to me, "I am not going to do that to my kids". Right before I moved away, I ran into him, married, had a child and another on the way. Was in graduate school and had a great job, I swear I remembering driving home crying to myself because I had seen him scruffy, angry, scared, no money. I could go on but I won't. My point is sure there are good, no make it great examples of people that came from single parent homes that actually had a good life, I see him as an example of that, but even from his own words, if you are coming to a situation with a choice, why would you willingly choose to not have a father for your child, when a father is JUST AS IMPORTANT as having a mother.
Anyway, I am not going to go back and forth debating this, but because some things were insinuated that I felt were totally and completely incorrect from my perspective, I wanted to set it straight.