I feel a little sick to my stomach, anxious, angry, scared (not sure why). I have to bite my tongue and hold myself to an "I'm not interested". I just try to remember that 10 years ago that could have been me. And that most of them probably just feel stuck in the system the way I did.
In the neighborhood I live in in NY, I've started seeing lots of groups out street witnessing now that the weather is nice. I can always spot them a block away. However, I have NEVER seen any of them actually approach anyone. They stand in a group, talking to each other, or just staring at the street, sometimes just sitting on a bench, usually holding a magazine in their hands, but they just watch you walk by. I have seen them in the subway doing the same thing. It just confirms for me that most of them are just "doing time". I saw some wandering around my local park, they finally DID approach some moms at the playground, including me. I gave a VERY polite "not interested" . Inside I was fuming. I've gotten to the point where I feel safe and insulated from them here. Strange as the HQs are just a borough away, but in 4 years of living here, only in the past few months have I really run into any. Nothing makes me feel as trapped and cornered as seeing them on my doorstep. And it was all I could do not to go over to the woman at the park who had taken an Awake from them, and tell her that she didn't want to read that brainwashing trash. I was very conflicted about it, but people have to make their own choices.